Manazashi wa Eien ni
by Shirohane
Summary: Naruto disguises himself for a dangerous mission. What would he do when Sasuke falls in love with his disguised self? Sasuke x Naruto
1. Ohayou

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation... Honestly, _Naruto_ is very sane, even though GAINAX was involved, so this work can not be mine. All characters and logos associated with the series belong to their respective owners. _

Note: I can not think of a word in English that would correctly portray the definition of 'manazashi'. It's a certain... light to the eyes. The way you would look at someone. The emotions within one's eyes. The closest translation to English would be...'The Gaze is Eternally...' or something along those lines.

Naruto-tachi are 17 in this fiction, and it is assumed that they had passed the chuunin exam sometime before they became 17.

* * * * *

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Shit.

The profanity 'shit' was the first word that crossed Naruto's mind as he stared at Sasuke in horror. This was about the worst time in his life that he could have met Sasuke. Damn Sasuke. Damn all his ancestors. Damn everyone else he could think of. Why? Why did he have to encounter Sasuke when he was in such a state? Sasuke stared back at him, even though his eyes portrayed none of the shock and discomfort that Naruto's eyes were reflecting. Naruto awkwardly bit his lips as he attempted a grin. He slowly backed away. Sasuke tilted his head to one side.

"...who are you?"

* * * * *

"WHAT?!!!"

The fifth hokage, Kakashi, and Iruka cringed, plugged up his ears, and/or stared at Naruto humorlessly as the outraged boy hopped up and down in his anger. Naruto quickly started to pace back and forth in front of the hokage's desk, waving his arms up and down frantically. He vaguely resembled a chicken that had her head chopped off.

"Look, you can't do this to me! I mean, I _know_ what you're trying to say and all, but it just won't work! Do you have any idea as to what you're asking of me? I..."

"Would you prefer that we send that Haruno girl, then, brat?" Tsunade coolly asked, resting her head on her left arm as she looked up at Naruto. Was it just his imagination, or did he see sadistic smirk in the fifth's eyes?

"Of... Of course not! But why me?! Come on, how about someone more skilled at _ninjutsu_ than me? There are plenty of boys... men! Why does it have to be me?"

"What is this sudden modesty, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrows lifting somewhat. "Usually you are more then enthusiastic to be entrusted with a mission of this danger and responsibility."

"Yeah, but I'm not a pervert!" Naruto shot back, his blue eyes flashing. He deeply sighed and plopped onto a vacant chair, burying his head into his hands. "I can't believe even you would agree to something as disgusting as this, Professor Iruka..."

Iruka guiltily lowered his eyes. "But you are the only one capable of doing this mission, Naruto. Please understand that."

"Just imagine Chouji doing this mission. This mission will fail in zero point five seconds flat," Kakashi said, sniggering. Iruka shot him a look, and Kakashi decided that this was a very good time to shut his mouth. Naruto looked from Tsunade's gleeful face to Kakashi's amused face to Iruka's downcast face. And he knew that he had no choice.

"...damn it all to hell."

* * * * *

Naruto slowly turned around, feeling like an animal on display at the zoo. Iruka's expression was unreadable. Kakashi was red from keeping his laughter inside. And Tsunade-- who made that old hag into a hokage again?-- did nothing to conceal her mirth.

"So?" Naruto dryly asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. A scowl was firmly planted upon his features and his lips curled into a sneer. "Do I look gorgeous, or do I look gorgeous?"

"You are the most beautiful little girl I've ever laid my eyes on," Kakashi solemnly said. Then he burst into laughter. Iruka jabbed Kakashi's waist with his elbow. Kakashi shut his mouth. Naruto was thankful.

Naruto honestly did not understand the point of changing himself into a female for this mission. He knew that stamina of a male and charms of a female would make the spying mission much easier, but he was still only a teenager. Surely no one would suspect a sweet little boy like Naruto to be a spy? But Tsunade insisted that people least suspected sweet little girls to be a spy, and no other girl-- or boy, for that matter-- was young and small yet powerful enough to pull this mission off. It also did not help that Naruto was an expert of _sexy no jutsu_, a skill which made him the one most capable of transforming into a female.

The motif of this mission was 'inconspicuous.' No huge breasts, no nudity. Naruto had managed to make himself look like a normal and sweet 17-years-old girl. His hair came down to his shoulders in silky golden locks, and his body was well-proportioned and slender to match his age. Naruto was frankly extremely uncomfortable in this form, since he had to actually maintain it for a while this time. All the softness and curves in this body felt foreign to him. Even his skin had turned a shade paler. His normal feminine features were exaggerated, and his masculine features had all but disappeared. What happened to all that muscle he had worked so hard to achieve over the years?

Tsunade critically appraised Naruto, then started to rub face powder on his face.

"Wha... What in the hell are you doing, hag?!" Naruto screeched. Iruka and Kakashi exchanged looks. Naruto's voice was more feminine, but his tone of speech was as masculine as ever. Tsunade shrugged as she looked at Naruto's face more carefully.

"If you have that _kyuubi(nine-tailed fox)_'s symbol on your cheek, brat, even 3-years-old can tell your true identity. Whenever you are on a mission, be sure to cover up those whisker marks with this powder."

"You want me to wear make-up?!"

"Powder, brat. Disguise. Stop making a fuss. And stop using '_ore(_male form of I_)_.' It's '_atashi(_female form of I_)_' from now on. Better yet, just use '_watashi_'(formal form of I)."

Naruto looked horror-stricken. He groaned and plopped down into the chair he had occupied previously.

"Someone, just kill me now..."

* * * * *

No one had been kind enough to kill him. So it was Naruto, on a fine Monday morning, who grudgingly stood in front of Kakashi's doorstep to receive detailed instructions about the mission. The last person that Naruto, in his female form and wearing disgusting white dress that Tsunade provided him, expected to encounter was Sasuke. But Sasuke it was. When Naruto had knocked on the door, Sasuke appeared on the other side of the door and curiously looked at him. Naruto could have screamed and torn his hair out and chopped Kakashi's head off. Sasuke would never let him live this down.

What he did not expect was Sasuke asking him who the hell he was.

"Aa... Eto. Ore wa na(I am)..."

"Ore?" Sasuke echoed, frowning. Naruto mentally gave a kick to himself.

"Janakutte(that's not it)... Iya(no)... Sono(that's)... Boku wa ne(I am)..."

Naruto fiddled with the front of his dress skirt, biting down on his lower lip. He frankly had no idea what to tell Sasuke. Sasuke opened the door wider and stepped aside so that Naruto can enter Kakashi's home. Naruto reluctantly did so, but kept his eyes lowered so that he won't have to face Sasuke.

"It's all right if you can not tell me why you're here, but you can at least provide me with your name?"

"Oh, Na..." Naruto grimaced innerly. He was certain Tsunade would have thought up of some disgustingly cute girl's name for him, but he was not informed of one yet. Then he got to choose! Oh, joy. "...Narue."

While Naruto was mentally beating himself up for being so original, Sasuke said something that made Naruto wonder if he had damaged his ears while he was changing into a female.

"That's a nice name--" 

__

'What?!' Naruto's subconscious immediately screamed back.

"--I am Uchiha Sasuke. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss...?"

Naruto had a strange urge to kill Sasuke, Tsunade, Kakashi, and Iruka, in that order, very painfully and slowly. He smiled instead. Why was Sasuke so freaking inquisitive today?!

"Um, er, Satou. The pleasure is all mine, Sasuke."

Naruto bit down on his lower lip again as Sasuke frowned yet again. Only very vulgar people or a close friend would call another by his first name without any suffix attached. No girl in her right mind would call someone she had just met by his first name without any suffix.

"-san," Naruto added lamely. He fidgeted uncomfortably as Sasuke scrutinized him. Then Sasuke lifted his hand up, and Naruto automatically recoiled as he thought that Sasuke would smack him on the head and laugh at him as he finally realized that he was Uzumaki Naruto, not Satou Narue. Sasuke did no such thing. He instead firmly shook Naruto's hand and walked away to retrieve Kakashi.

Naruto stared down at his hand, which still felt warm from being held by Sasuke, then stared after Sasuke and wondered if he would still be sane by the time he finished this mission.

* * * * *

*bangs his head against the keyboard* This fiction doesn't work in English! Nuooo! English does not have different speech patterns for different genders...!!! Argh. Naruto will be using 'boku' when he is in Narue's form. 'Boku' is used by young males, and some very tomboy girls would use it, even though such a case is extremely rare. I will not be evil enough to make him use 'atashi'. Naruto will still be a 'he', even when he is Narue, because he's a boy, no matter what his outer appearance may be.

To give you an idea of difference between male and female speech:

Sasuke: Urusee na. Omae, mou shizukani shirou yo. Ore no sei janai ze?

Sakura: Urusai wa yo ne. Anta, mou shizukani shinasai. Atashi no sei janain desho?

English: You're noisy. Be quiet already, you. It's not my fault, you know?

Where did the last name "Satou" come from? You see, that is my ingenious idea of incorporating Sasuke x Naruto to make SaTo, which became the last name Satou...! Nah, it's just one of the most common last name in Japan. ^^;;

Version 2, 1/28/2004


	2. Yuragu Koto Nai Ai

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. When scary lawyers come after me, please don't tell them that I'm hiding under my bed._

This fan fiction is not an AU, but it that makes you happy, you can just toss it to the AU section. It is set in the future timeline, when Naruto-tachi are 17-years-old chuunin.

* * * * *

Sasuke critically skimmed over the list of instructions, then nodded his approval. "This seems to be in order. I will hand in the report of this mission when it's completed. The final submission should be handed in to you no later then eight o'clock sharp."

Kakashi nodded. Sasuke gave a short bow before nodding to Naruto and leaving. Naruto awkwardly waved after him, knowing full well that he looked like a moron. As soon as he heard the sound of door closing behind Sasuke, Naruto furiously turned to Kakashi. He pulled out his _shuriken_ and smiled a murderous smile. Kakashi nervously laughed as he backed away from the blood-thirsty boy.

"Now, _mentor_, you will provide me with a very good reason as to why Sasuke was here just now, when you knew as well as I did that I was going to visit you in this form."

"Now, now, Naruto, let us put sharp pointy entities away," Kakashi said uneasily. "It was a good thing he was here. Even _he_ couldn't identify you, so your disguise is perfect. He was with you all these years, and he even has the sharingan; this is a fool-proof way of checking your disguise--"

"--not good enough reason; you die now--"

"You're not being very lady-like--"

"I don't give a shit--"

"I forgot that I was supposed to give Sasuke his mission outline this morning. You seriously wouldn't hurt your own mentor--"

"Let's see about that--"

"I'll buy you _ramen_-- the really expensive sea-food kind!"

That one word was enough to sooth any savage beast in Naruto. Naruto put his _shuriken_ away, brightening up. Even with his female form's face, he managed a surprisingly boyish grin at now-relieved Kakashi. "Okay. You're forgiven."

* * * * *

Naruto's eyes skimmed over the crowd. What better place was there to spy upon a village then the local restaurant? A warm bowl of _udon(thick noodles in broth)_ and gathering of information in his mind, Naruto slowly made his way to a vacant seat at the corner of the small restaurant. He noted with discomfort that he was attracting a lot of attention. He briefly wondered if anyone thought that he was a boy in a drag. Which was exactly what he was. A pervert. Naruto wanted to die in total humiliation.

What Naruto did not realize was that he was extremely attractive in female form. Being a female added to the baby fat he already had, making his face rounded and babyish in return. His jaw-line had softened, and his eyes were brought out by his pale, creamy skin. Naruto's now-long hair curved around his face and framed it in a graceful oval-shape. In short, most of the male population in the restaurant were gawking at the beautiful, young, seemingly single girl, bravely walking into the restaurant filled with rogue without aid of her male friend or brother.

Naruto flinched when he felt a hand feeling him up as he passed. Pausing, Naruto stared in combination of disgust and horror as he realized that an obviously intoxicated man was fondling his posterior. The man looked up at Naruto and smirked, pinching Naruto's behind. Naruto's last strand of logic snapped. Screw the mission, screw the undercover-inconspicuous crap. He was going to rip this guy apart.

With a loud, solid thumping sound, the man went crashing to the floor. All hell broke loose as the patrons of the restaurant panicked and started to run to and fro. Naruto blinked in surprise. It wasn't _his_ leg that knocked the pervert out cold. A hand suddenly grasped his own.

"Let's get out of here," a quiet voice said. The voice was familiar. Naruto gulped as the owner of the voice dragged him out of the shady restaurant and pulled him out into the bright daylight outside. Temporarily blinded, Naruto blinked few times before turning to his savior.

"Sasuke... san," Naruto said in horror. Sasuke continued to walk, not loosening his hold on Naruto's hand. "Um... Where are you going...?"

"Another place to eat. You owe me a meal. Saving a damsel in distress is not my hobby, but helping a fellow hidden-leaf _shinobi_ is an obligation. But I'm still hungry."

Naruto snorted. "So you want _me_ to buy you something to eat? Shouldn't it be the other way around? I mean, in normal cases, guys treat girls to meals, right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Satou-san, I am not here on a date. I am here on a mission, like you probably are. I would like to eat and carry on with my mission. I do not like the Hidden Sand Village; I'd prefer to go back to the Hidden Leaf before the sun sets."

"You sure are a lady-killer," Naruto sullenly said. He couldn't help but ask himself exactly why all the girls were falling over Sasuke's feet. He was a jerk, whether his companion was a girl or a boy. What did they see in him?

Resisting the urge to smack the back of Sasuke's head, Naruto followed Sasuke to another restaurant. This one was more respectable then the last one. Clean and fragrant with aroma of fresh-cooked food, the restaurant seemed welcoming and homely. Naruto sighed happily. Even though it was doubtful he would get any good information in a place where the patrons were neither drunk nor loud, at least he would be watered and fed well. He was now more willing to let Sasuke grab his hand and drag him around. Come to think of it, Sasuke was still holding on to his hand. Strange. Usually Sasuke would make sure that he was at least a meter away from the nearest person...

Naruto was snapped out of his musings when Sasuke pulled out a chair and patiently waited. Naruto was still trying to figure out what Sasuke was waiting for when Sasuke gestured to the chair.

"Aren't you going to seat?"

"Huh? Oh! You pulled the chair out for me?" 

Even Naruto himself was amazed with his own stupidity.

"Um, thank you, Sasuke-san."

Sasuke nodded in return. Blushing, Naruto promptly sat down. He reminded himself that guys pulled chairs out for girls. Next time Sasuke pulls out a chair and steps aside, he would remember that the chair was for him. Think like a girl. Girl. Naruto leaned back into the seat until he was comfortable, resting his elbows on either side of back of his chair, parting his legs widely--

Before he was greeted with another strange look from Sasuke. Mentally cursing, Naruto sat up and closed the distance between his legs, smiling awkwardly. Sitting up straight with hands gathered on his lap felt uncomfortable. The dress skirt felt strange against his legs. He hated the sensation of his long hair covering the nape of his neck and shoulders. Naruto was starting to develop a whole new respect for the female population of this world that braved all these discomforts everyday. He took a sip of water before glancing at the menu.

"Two orders of _tonkatsu_(pork cutlets), please," Sasuke said to the waitress. Naruto watched with his mouth open as the lady nodded and took his menu away.

"Wha... I don't want..."

The waitress left. Naruto stared at Sasuke with a look of disbelief while Sasuke sipped his glass of water and looked around the restaurant.

"O... o... omae(male form of 'you' )... janakutte(that's not right), kimi(also male form of 'you' , but more polite and can be used by females as well)..." Naruto stammered in outrage. Sasuke turned his eyes away from the painting on the wall behind Naruto and looked at Naruto expressionlessly. Naruto pointed at Sasuke's face. "Who said I wanted pork cutlets?! I don't LIKE pork! I wanted _ramen_, you idiot!"

"It's not good for your health," Sasuke calmly retorted. "Besides, I saved you. Don't I get to choose whatever I want to eat?"

"I don't give a flying rat's ass what the hell YOU want to eat! Why did you order for me?! It's not like you're buying!"

"I wanted to eat. You were daydreaming."

Naruto sulked. "Asshole..." He muttered under his breath.

Few seconds passed before Sasuke started to chuckle. Sasuke was scary when he was laughing. Naruto was trying to decide if he should run for his life and inform others that Uchiha had gone insane or if he should try to help the mentally ill boy when Sasuke softly said, "You're the strangest girl I've ever met. Do you have a lot of brothers? You have a really cute face--"

"Do NOT!"

"-- but you really talk like a boy. If you're more comfortable speaking like a boy, then by all means, go ahead and do so. I don't mind. It's amusing."

Naruto started to tell Sasuke exactly what would be amusing when the food arrived and fortunately interrupted their conversation. Contrary to his previous declaration of hatred against pork, Naruto devoured the soup, pork cutlets, steamed rice, and salad in a speedy and efficient manner. Sasuke watched, quite amazed with vigor that the "girl" in front of him ate, as his forgotten fork rested at distance halfway between his plate and his mouth. Finally lowering his fork, Sasuke pulled out a handkerchief and started to dab at Naruto's lips.

"Ukyaaa! What are you doing..."

"Stay still, you klutz. You've got the pork cutlet sauce all over yourself."

Naruto pouted, but he obeyed. Sasuke took hold of Naruto's chin and firmly pressed the cloth against Naruto's lips, leaning over the table to peer at Naruto's face. Naruto looked even more adorable closer up. His huge water-colored eyes regarded Sasuke's eyes solemnly. It was such a pretty color of blue that Sasuke couldn't help but continue to stare, even though he knew he was being rude. Naruto's face felt soft under his fingers. Did all girls feel like this? Did this girl even had bones under her soft flesh? Sasuke's fingers traced the supple flesh on Naruto's chin, then moved up to trace Naruto's lips. Naruto's lips were still glistening with the oil from the sauces. Sasuke briefly wondered what it would be like to kiss Naruto's lips. If...

"Er, are you done yet?" Naruto broke in uncomfortably. Was it just his imagination, or did Sasuke look like he was preparing to pounce on him and eat him up? He pulled back as Sasuke looked startled and retreated.

"Oh... um... Sorry, I..."

"That's okay," Naruto uncertainly said. He picked up his fork and knife again, but discovered that he had lost his appetite. Sasuke's hands have been infinitely gentle, almost caressing. Was changing into a girl making him confused? Avoiding Sasuke's eyes, Naruto silently finished the meal.

Had Naruto lifted his head to look at Sasuke, he would have noticed bright streaks of crimson that had dyed Sasuke's cheeks.

Sasuke proved that he had been merely teasing Naruto. He paid the bill. Sasuke insisted on holding Naruto's hand again. Naruto didn't mind much. The boys walked in companionable silence until they stopped at the fork of the road. 

"I have to go this way."

"I'm headed to the opposite direction, then," Sasuke said, almost ruefully. "See you later, Satou-san."

Sasuke suddenly lifted Naruto's hand to his lips to plant a chaste kiss on the back of his hand. 

"Good luck on your mission."

As Naruto stared after him in mute shock, Sasuke walked away. Naruto stared down at his hand. He discovered that he wasn't disgusted as he should have been. Shrugging, he pushed Sasuke-related thoughts out of his mind as he concentrated upon his mission. Thinking had never been Naruto's forte, with exception of battle strategy. 

* * * * *

To Dear Reviewers: Thank you very much for the kind reviews. I am especially honored that someone who does not normally enjoy Sasuke x Naruto pairing likes this fan fiction. I hope this story would meet your expectations, and continue to be of interest to all of you. Ganbaru-su! Koko kara mo douzo yoroshiku onegai-su!

Yes, indeed it is strange for a boy of my age to be writing _shounen-ai _fictions... It's all my big sister's fault! I didn't do it! ^^;; _Satou_ does mean sugar, but not the way Narue's last name is spelled. They have different _kanji_, so they have completely different meaning. Let's just be on _hiragana_ terms, though, _kanji_ is painful... X.x

Uwaaa, Chrno Crusade anime is so lovely~! I've loved this series even when it was still in comic book form, two years or so ago. But I always loved Chrno and Rosette. Azu Maria is adorable, too! The animation is so well-done; I can't wait to see Joshua. ^^


	3. Let Me Be With You

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. I don't even hold claim to Satou Narue, even though it's an original name. ;_;_

Kishimoto Masashi-san's twin brother draws hotter girls then his older brother. ;) But I still like Naruto_ better then _Satan 666_._

* * * * *

Someone surely must have cast magic on us two/ Because as soon as we met, we started to smile softly

We would not notice our true feelings, but then suddenly us two would fall in love

Let me be with you...

I just wanted to embrace you...

Let me be with you...

-- "Let Me Be With You", Chobits OP theme

* * * * *

Naruto slowly walked home, a scroll in his hands. The scroll was full of untidy scripts that he had written about the Hidden Sand Village. The general atmosphere, as far as he could tell, was normal and peaceful. He honestly could not believe that the fifth would believe Hidden Sand would be conspiring again, when it had been crushed so recently. In fact, he was starting to have an uncomfortable thought that Tsunade made up this mission to merely satisfy her own perverted hobbies...

...but then again, Tsunade never made a _shinobi_ work without a cause. She was sadistic old cow, but she was also reasonable and fair. Naruto respected her, and he knew that Tsunade acknowledged him. 

His footsteps ringed against the empty alley. Naruto paused to look up at the sky. The celestial body was chokingly full of stars. Naruto smiled contently. Sun was too bright, and moon was too fragile. But stars were always together to release just the right amount of light. Stars were never lonely. And surely, there would be one star out there that even loner like Naruto can claim as his star and be his companion during a silent night as this...

"You're late."

Naruto almost shrieked out loud before he turned to the speaker with an angry scowl.

"What's your problem?! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"My bad," Sasuke apologized. He didn't sound sorry. Naruto's scowl deepened.

"What are you doing here at this hour?" Naruto asked, slowing his pace so that he was walking side by side with Sasuke. Sasuke held up a scroll.

"Mission report to Mentor Kakashi. You?"

"The same."

Sasuke nodded, and silence settled around the two. Naruto had to admit that it was pleasant to have a company. Sasuke seemed a lot more sociable when he was Narue, and he was a bit uneasy to walk around by himself. Especially after that incident earlier today. Naruto shuddered as he thought of that disgusting, loathsome, despicable, perverted... MAN... touching him, and then...

"Oh... I didn't thank you yet for helping me," Naruto said, turning to Sasuke. Looking embarrassed, Naruto bowed his head slightly. "Thank you, Sasuke-san."

"No problem, Satou-san," Sasuke replied just as politely. 

"Um, you can just call me Narue."

'Because I'm going to confuse Satou with Saitou or something like that by tomorrow,' Naruto silently added. He knew full well that he had the memory span of a cockroach. Sasuke suddenly smiled so sweetly that Naruto felt his heart involuntarily speeding up its blood-pumping process. Sasuke's entire facial feature became soft, and his left cheek curved in to form a dimple. His dark eyes softened to look silvery, and the moonlight played tricks with the light to give Sasuke almost ethereal beauty.

Whoa. That's probably where the women-killer thing came from.

"And you can call me Sasuke. No suffix needed." Sasuke looked puzzled. "...is something on my face, Narue?"

Naruto, who was transfixed upon Sasuke's smile, blinked before he shook his head. "Uh, no, sorry... Nothing on your face."

* * * * *

Kakashi skimmed the report that Sasuke had handed in to him. As usual, it was flawless, and the writing was so neat that Kakashi wondered if Sasuke had actually measured the margins with a ruler. The information was well-organized and easy to understand. Sasuke's writing had none of the elegance that Sakura's report would have contained, but it was nevertheless an excellent report.

"Excellent, Sasuke. You've worked hard. The person whom you've rendered your services to already paid you, I assume?"

"Yes sir."

"I will file this report to the honorable hokage. And..." Kakashi undid the string that held Naruto's mission report. As the scroll stretched out, Kakashi mutely stared. He finally held up the scroll to Naruto's face.

"...and you expect me to be able to read this?"

"Mentor Kakashi didn't learn how to read _hiragana(_basic Japanese alphabet_)_ yet?" Naruto asked good-naturedly. "Or is the _katakana(_supplementary Japanese alphabet_)_ giving you trouble? Here, I'll read it for you--"

"This is supposed to be a human's writing?" Kakashi barked. "It looks like a doodle that a three-year-old did on the wall! Learn how to write legibly!"

Naruto scowled. "I can read it just fine."

"I can't," Sasuke dryly said. Naruto glared at him. Who asked his opinion? "Mentor Kakashi, do you have a new mission assigned to me?"

"No," Kakashi said, somewhat surprised at the sudden change of topic. "Would you like one? You've just finished your last one today."

"I request to be assigned the same mission that Narue is assigned to."

Naruto, who was engaged upon the task of finding any fault with his calligraphy skills, snapped his head up and stared at Sasuke. Kakashi looked interested. This was a very bad sign. Naruto started to jump up and down behind Sasuke, frantically waving his hands and shaking his head no. He had a sinking feeling about this. What did he do in his life to deserve such misery?

"The reason for request?"

"Narue was assaulted by an intoxicated male earlier today. I believe that it is dangerous for a girl of her age to be by herself. I will trail behind Narue if she needs to be alone for this mission. May I request this to the hokage?"

Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully while Naruto frantically gestured to himself, then to Sasuke. Sasuke will find out who he is in one day flat if they're together all day, damn it! And then Sasuke will never have a straight enough face for this mission! Think about it, Kakashi, this is a horrible idea! It will ruin this mission! More importantly, it will ruin Naruto's life!

"A couple does look less suspicious then a single person wandering around by herself..."

Oh, gods, no.

"And you'll be able to protect Nadeshiko... er... Narue..." Kakashi looked amused at Naruto's choice for his name. Naruto's face was starting to become an interesting shade of green. "I give you my permission to present that idea to the hokage."

It had been decided. Naruto's life was over, after its short, glorious seventeen years.

* * * * *

"Are you angry?" Sasuke asked worriedly. Naruto didn't reply. He was angry, yes. He was seething with anger. He was mad enough to rip out Sasuke's head and throw it to the dogs. He firmly stomped along, his hands clenched at his sides and mutely glaring at the ground. He knew Tsunade would approve. Anything to further torture the annoying little loudmouth, right? And what was up with Tsunade giving him the name "Nadeshiko"? Of all the nerve... "Narue... you don't want me to accompany you?"

"Of course not," Naruto sullenly replied. "For once I get an important mission all to myself, but no, Mr. Genius Pure-blooded Ninja just had to butt in. Even if the mission is insanely successful, who'll acknowledge me?"

"I'll leave my name out in the reports," Sasuke quietly offered. Naruto paused in his stomping and looked back at Sasuke. "I'll make sure only Hokage and Kakashi knows that I'm involved in this mission. Is it all right then?"

"Why are you so vent on this mission?" Naruto asked, sighing lightly. He waited while Sasuke caught up with him. Naruto tilted his head slightly. "If it's not for the credit you can receive for finishing an A-rank mission, then why would you want to help me?"

Sasuke didn't reply. Naruto turned his head to look at Sasuke. Sasuke's expression was strange. Suddenly a burst of breeze blinded Naruto, and Naruto rubbed his eyes furiously before looking up at Sasuke again.

Sasuke's deep indigo eyes were regarding him. Naruto froze at his place, mesmerized by emotions he can so clearly see in the other's eyes. He had never stood so close to Sasuke in his life. He didn't understand what those turbulence of emotions meant. Then Sasuke was right next to Naruto, his hands firmly grasping Naruto's shoulders to pull him closer to the other boy. Sasuke's soft lips lightly touched Naruto's ears as he whispered into his ears. Soft words were swept away by the chilly breeze right after Sasuke uttered them, but Naruto heard every word.

"Because I want to be with Narue."

Then the warm lips moved to Naruto's forehead, and Naruto flinched as Sasuke kissed his forehead. Then Sasuke abruptly turned and strode away. Naruto slowly backed off until he felt a wall behind him. His heart was beating rapidly again. He clutched at his chest with his hands, his eyes widened with confusion. His body was being weird. His knees felt weak. His head felt like it would burst.

"What... what the f*** was THAT all about...?"

* * * * *

"Nadeshiko" is an extremely feminine name, and means "pinks". You know, the delicate pink flowers. In fact "Yamato Nadeshiko" means "ideal lady/wife". ^^;; When I was trying to think up of a girl's name for Naruto, it was one of the candidates. Nadeshiko, Narumi, Naomi, Nikki, and Narue. Narue won at the end. 

Heaven forbid I cross-dress. I already look feminine enough. .O I have a cubit stud on my left ear, but no female cloth. I worked my ass off this summer trying to build muscles, and I just lost weight... ;_; My old man's Japanese, my Mum's Korean, and English is my 3rd language. This fan fiction was originally written in Japanese. ^^;;

I went to _Asahiya_ today to buy some books. And... and... they had works by Sakura Ashika-sensei, Dr. Ten, and Kurumigi Kurumi-sensei! Those three are extremely talented yaoi graphic novel artists. I worship Sakura Ashika-sensei in particular. . I thought I was going to die of happiness when I found her book. Thank her for all the sap and mush in this chapter; I just had to write them in after reading "Ano ko to Boku to Ano Hito"~ I also got a Gundam Wing doujinshi, but not much shounen-ai there... MATO-sensei illustrated cover picture, though.


	4. Sakura Saku

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. Before the Japanese lawyers get their hands on me, though, I might die of this throat cold... Argh... X.x_

* * * * *

Looking at the sky on top of the roof, the sunlight is warm /When I look up at the sky, my body fills with energy

__

That's so wonderful, I'll live on /I won't do something as stopping, as giving up

Goodbye to the confused yesterday; This feelings that I can't control

I can revive again and again; let the flower blossom

Memories are a sweet place to run away, but in order to tread the earth and to live on...

The happy moments will come, so hold out your hands

Hold both of your hands up...

"Sakura Saku", Love Hina OP Theme

* * * * *

The morning sun filtered between the curtain gaps. Naruto frowned and twitched as a ray of light found its way to his face. He sat up groggily, then yawned widely. Scratching the nape of his neck, Naruto tumbled off his bed. He trudged to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at the mirror. Water droplets clinged to his bangs and eye lashes. Despite his age, Naruto still looked childish. He was still in the "cute boy" category, not "hot guy." But no matter how he looked at his face, it was still a boy's face. He was a boy. Sighing heavily, Naruto nibbled on his lower lip as he tried to make sense of yester-night. After first three seconds, he decided that he didn't care. Sasuke was always weird anyway. It was Sasuke's problem, not his.

Naruto picked up a piece of roasted squid from the table and chewed on it as he walked back to the bathroom. He tossed toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and dry towels into a plastic bag. Dragging the plastic bag behind him, Naruto entered his bedroom and pulled out an underwear from his drawer. He tossed that in, too. He quickly undressed and pulled on his standard orange jumper. Naruto tied leaf head-protector around his head and tossed the remainder of squid leg to top of his table, where other indistinguishable bits and pieces of food article lay scattered about. Then Naruto left for the bathhouse.

Every other Sunday, Naruto would visit the public bathhouse. He usually visited early in the morning, when beer-bellied men didn't make fun of his penis size and little kids didn't splash cold water all over him as they ran around, screaming at the top of their lungs. It was a pain going to the bathhouse the first thing in the morning, but it was worth the trouble. The last thing he needed was lower self-esteem.

After paying his fee, Naruto undressed in the empty locker room and made sure the key to the locker was tied around his ankle. He leisurely walked into the bathhouse, dragging his plastic bag behind him.

And he found familiar dark-head emerged in the hot water. Apparently someone else enjoys quiet morning bathes, too.

"Sa-Sa-Sa-Sasuke! What are _you_ doing here?" Naruto stuttered, pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke. "Are you like stalking me or something?! How come I'm always bumping into you lately?!"

"Last time I checked, this was a public bathhouse," Sasuke calmly said. "And I do not recall meeting you for the last three days. Is even your short-term memory failing you, dimwit?"

Naruto puffed up until he looked very similar to an angry puffer fish. "It's _your_ memory that's failing you, you arrogant asshole. Just yesterday you..." Naruto suddenly smacked himself on the head. "Argh. Never mind!"

And with that Naruto charged into the pool and landed with a splash. It seemed like a good idea at the time, since it would end the conversation before Naruto gave out any more information about his new mission. Sasuke was given enough time to widen his eyes before he was drenched with hot water. Naruto quickly emerged to squeak a meek 'atseeee(hot)--' before Sasuke pushed Naruto's head back into the water, vein throbbing at the side of his head. Seventeen years of public bathhouse, and Naruto still hadn't learned that diving into a scalding hot pool of water was not the best idea in the world. Psychologists would have been very disappointed with this unresponsiveness to positive punishments. Sasuke released Naruto's head after precisely three seconds, which was enough to cause slight pain to the lungs, but not long enough to cause any real damage. 

Naruto had fainted.

Muttering things under his breath about certain idiots who can't stand heated water and yet insisted on diving into a pool full of it, Sasuke slung his arms around Naruto's waist and dragged him out of the pool. He leaned over Naruto's face and started to lightly shake his shoulder.

"Naruto. Oi, Naruto. Hang in there. Naruto?"

Sasuke pressed his finger against Naruto's lips. He wasn't breathing. Sasuke promptly held Naruto's nose between his fingers and started a CPR. After few seconds of mouth-to-mouth, Naruto coughed up water and groggily opened his eyes. Sasuke's lips promptly claimed his lips, and Naruto lay helpless as he felt air being forced into his lungs. Sasuke's body was uncomfortably close to him. Sasuke's hand rested against Naruto's bare chest, and Sasuke's lips felt hot against his own. Naruto tightly closed his eyes, shivering. Then he promptly shoved Sasuke off of him, which resulted in Sasuke being dumped into the cold pool.

Sasuke didn't emit a sound. He merely merged from the cold water and glared at Naruto. Naruto blushed and whispered an apology, lowering his head awkwardly. Sasuke sighed and pulled himself out of the cold pool to sit next to Naruto.

"No injuries?" He coolly asked, regarding the smaller child from the corner of his eyes. Naruto shook his head, then buried his head into his hands.

"I feel dizzy..."

"It's probably all the hot water," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "Honestly, Uzumaki, even for you that was just plain unintelligent. As well as unhealthy. What gave you the idea that diving into the hot pool would give you a very enjoyable bath experience?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," Naruto protested. He winced as he felt the floor whirling underneath him. He was going to faint out again. It was getting harder to breath. Sasuke, who was still watching Naruto, suddenly stood up. He kneeled in front of Naruto and gathered him up into his arms. Naruto screeched in protest, struggling like a freshly caught salmon in Sasuke's arms. Sasuke frowned as he adjusted his grip so that Naruto's naked slippery body won't slide from his arms and result in Naruto bashing his head on the bathhouse floor.

"What in the name of the hokage are you doing?! Lemme go! I'll kill you! Put me down~!!!"

"As you wish," Sasuke said, dropping Naruto in the cold pool without any ceremony. Naruto shrieked indignantly, then resurfaced to choke out inappropriate words as Sasuke quietly joined him in the cold pool. "Easier to breath, isn't it?" He asked, breaking into Naruto's rant about how evil Sasuke was. Naruto blinked few times before nodding. Then he gave a sigh of relief and sank deeper into the water until his nose barely poked out of the water.

Sasuke stared at Naruto's reflection on the pool. Something about Naruto reminded him of Narue. Not only the golden hair and blue eyes, but... Sasuke frowned. He was probably just thinking too much of Narue. He was still trying to remember if he ever met her back in the academy days. If they were of the similar age group, he was sure that they would have met at least once. Her last name being very common 'Satou' did not really help things. 

Sasuke turned his attention back to Naruto. It had been almost four years since their "first kiss", but Naruto's lips still felt as supple and as warm as they did back then. Naruto was also surprisingly light to carry. Not to mention very soft. He almost felt like Narue... If he turned his head like that, the graceful curve of his neck really did look like...

'You're obsessing over a girl,' Sasuke scolded himself. 'It's disgusting. Stop it.' 

Naruto suddenly stood up, stretching. He turned to Sasuke with a grin. "I'm gonna wash up before I look like a prune. Wanna wash each other's back?"

Sasuke nodded.

* * * * *

Naruto reached his home, tired but feeling refreshed and clean. The whole deal with bathhouse was kind of weird. In fact, Sasuke was being really weird lately. Naruto entertained the idea that Sasuke may be sick, but quickly abandoned that idea. He seemed active enough. No fever, no runny nose, no coughing. Then what was his problem? Naruto cocked his head to the side. Starting from yesterday, he had been kissed on the hand, forehead, and lips by Sasuke. Well, the CPR didn't really count, but it was still really weird. When was the last time Sasuke kissed anyone?

Four years ago, when they were still in ninja academy. With him.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Not the fondest memory of a first-kiss that a guy could have. Shoving disgusting thoughts of Sasuke and kisses out of his mind, Naruto rummaged through the contents of the refrigerator in hopes of finding something edible. He found half a bar of chocolate. Good enough.

Munching on the chocolate, Naruto picked up the letter that had been left on his doorstep. He ripped off the seal, glanced at the contents of the letter, and started to choke on his candy.

Tsunade had approved Sasuke as his partner. In fact, Sasuke was to play the role of Narue's boyfriend to not only protect her from perverts, but also to draw less suspicion to herself.

Naruto wheezed as he felt the candy getting stuck in his esophagus. He rushed to get water. No Sasuke to CPR on him this time.

* * * * *

Omake

No song could have possibly been a better representative of this chapter than the Love Hina opening song. Bathhouses and hot springs are different, but close enough. ^^;; The bathhouse bits are from my childhood memories. Japanese bathhouses probably changed a lot since last time I visited one. ...well, I'm sure the fee is higher now... Us males only need soap, but whenever my Mum visits the bathhouse, she brings like... shampoo, conditioner, body soap, body oil, massage cream, tons of towels, and who knows what else. And women often take 3 hours or more, while it's rare for a guy to take more then 30 minutes at the bathhouse. ^^;;

I've just finished scribbling material for chapter 6 in my notebook. Chapter 6 is surprisingly full of _kanji_... Hm... Those Chinese characters will come back to haunt me later when I translate that chapter. ^^;; I was thinking, 'hey, I updated early this morning, so I really, really shouldn't release the next chapter until like... Christmas, because that's what cool authors do...' But then I realized, 'but I'm not a cool author... And I AM a freak who can cough up one chapter a day... and this is Thanksgivings weekend, I should be giving...' So... here you go. ^^;; Once my finals come around, though, you can be reassured that I will not be as freaky as I am now...! 

A lot of you mentioned 'Nadeshiko' as a name familiar from Matantei Loki Ragnarok. ^^ I love that animation, too. Unlike Haruno Sakura, the other pink-haired heroine Mayura there is really, really cute! . But I was thinking of more along the lines of Amamiya Nadeshiko(Kinomoto Sakura's mother), from Card Captor Sakura....! ^^;; 

Squid is good, but it is not nutritious. Not a good breakfast material. Chocolate is full of glucose and it is antioxidant, so it might prevent cancer, but it is also not a good breakfast material. I'm not trying to promote Naruto's style of eating; let's all eat good, well-balanced breakfast. ^^;;


	5. San Bun no Ichi no Junjou na Kanjou

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. And for the subliminal message of today... Bow down and worship Sakura Ashika-sama! Come on, you know you want to... Look at the prettiful boys screwing like bunnies... Let this world be dominated by boy love-love...!_

Fine, so psychology class doesn't teach you how to hypnotize people. *grumbles*

* * * * *

Even though I love you so much that my heart breaks, not even 1/3 of my feelings will reach you/ My feelings are jumbled up in air, and _my heart _won't even say _I love you_...

On long sleepless nights, my thoughts keep returning to you. A whisper, that this is love... My words falter and move you to tears, and light fever mingles with sighs

__

Give me a smile and shiny days; don't falter suddenly/ because no matter how hard the obstacle, we'll be able to overcome it

Just how much must I love you for these feelings to reach you?

The further I move away, the more pain my most precious feels/ But the more I chase you, my heart is throbbing more painfully...

"San Bun no Ichi no Junjou na Kanjou", Rurouni Kenshin ED Theme

* * * * *

Naruto stretched his arms out, basking in the warm morning sunlight in a cat-like fashion. He shook his head, then stood in front of the mirror.

"_Henshin: Sexy no Jutsu_!(Transformation: Sexy Spell)"

Explosion of smoke accompanied disappearance of Naruto. When the white smoke cleared, Narue was standing in Naruto's place. Naruto picked up the face powder that Tsunade had provided him and rubbed it into his cheeks to hide the whisker-like scars that nine-tailed fox had left him. He roughly brushed back his hair with his fingers, then tied it back with a rubber band. Good grief, now his hair wouldn't tickle the back of his neck like that. How did girls stand such annoyance and hindrance? He trotted over to his closet and peered inside, almost as if he was scared of what lay within. He cringed as brightly-colored dresses that Kurenai had enthusiastically provided greeted him. Most of them were heavily endowed with laces and frills. Shuddering, Naruto shied away from everything and anything that even remotely resembled pink. He fished out a simple light blue dress and hurriedly dressed, as if afraid of the dress scalding him if he held it for too long. He glanced himself at the mirror again, stuck his tongue out at his reflection, then left for the mission.

* * * * *

Sasuke nervously paced back and forth near the gate of the Hidden Leaf Village. He looked up as he heard the soft footsteps against the pavement. Naruto grinned broadly as he widely waved at Sasuke. Sasuke quietly watched as Naruto approached him. The light blue dress, unknowing to Naruto, brought out Naruto's pale skin and blue eyes. To Sasuke, Naruto at that moment was the very image of an angel.

"Morning, Sasuke," Naruto chirped. "Let's go, let's go! I'm not late, am I?"

Sasuke shook his head, then hesitated. He bit down on his lower lip nervously as he regarded Naruto. Naruto curiously looked up at Sasuke. "...is something the matter?"

"Um. This. I'll give it to you." 

Naruto blinked as Sasuke thrust a bouquet of flowers at his face. Yellow acacia, white almond, amethyst, baby's breath, and garden ranunculus blossoms were still wet with morning dew. Naruto carefully took the flowers in his arms. They were gently fragrant, not overpowering with their scent. Naruto fingered the soft petals of the flowers, then blushed as he looked up at Sasuke and smiled.

"...thank you. This is my first time receiving flowers from someone... But why are you giving them to me?"

Sasuke avoided Naruto's eyes. "I just... got them from somewhere, so... I thought you might want it... You being my girlfriend and all for this mission..." He nervously fidgeted until he finally gained enough courage to look at Naruto in the eyes. Naruto was brightly smiling, pink streaks adorning his cheeks.

"Oh, wow, thank you. The flower are awesome. Wait here while I leave them at home, okay? I'll be right back."

Sasuke watched as Naruto ran off. A relieved smile slowly crept into his face, and Sasuke released the breath he didn't realize he was holding until then.

* * * * *

Sakura moaned as the obnoxious noise of the telephone interrupted her from her dreams. Muttering things under her breath at the nerve of anyone interrupting her Sasuke-related dreams, Sakura picked up the phone. She grumpily said, "Hello?"

"Sakura, it's a big trouble!"

Sakura yawned as she pulled up her blanket more tightly around herself.

"Ino... What's your problem?"

"Sasuke-kun was buying flowers from our shop this morning!"

Suddenly all sleep was chased away as Sakura bolted up from her bed. Her green eyes flashing, she screeched, "No way!"

Ino held the receiver away from her ear to prevent any permanent damage to her hearing senses, then continued, frowning deeply.

"The flower language went something like 'I think you're gorgeous, I'm madly in love with you, and hope that you'll go out with me.' The flowers were definitely for a girl, Sakura. Did Sasuke-kun talk about any girl lately?"

"Of course not! He's not the type to..." Sakura pressed her temples. "Excuse me. I have a compelling need to scream until I'm hoarse."

"Um, call me back when you've calmed down so we can try to figure out who the girl is. Do you think it's anyone we--"

Ino backed away from the phone as Sakura slammed her phone down. Ino deeply sighed and buried her face into her hands. She felt like crying. 

* * * * *

The mission was a lot more fun with Sasuke around. Holding hands together, Naruto and Sasuke visited the market place, park, different restaurants-- any place where there might be a valuable information. People didn't give a second glance to the teenaged couple, seemingly on a date. It was a relief to have someone to talk to. And best of all, Sasuke wrote the information for mission report. 

"There doesn't seem to be any strange movements, right?" Naruto asked, taking a bite of his chocolate banana parfait. Sasuke nodded, thoughtfully biting into his own fruit parfait. The two were seated on a bench under a broad oak tree. Birds were merrily chirping around them, and sometimes they fluttered from branch to branch.

"We should start investigating the closer place to where kazekage is at. All the officers around the capital must know something that others don't."

"It'll be more risky, then," Naruto said, grinning. "I mean, what kind of people out on a date hangs out where a bunch of army people are running around?"

"We do," Sasuke solemnly said, and Naruto burst into laughter. Naruto was suddenly interested in Sasuke's parfait.

"Does that taste good?"

"I'll let you have a taste if you let me have a bite of yours," Sasuke said, holding his snack out to Naruto. Naruto nodded and put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder to balance himself as he leaned forward and took a bite. 

"Not sweet enough," Naruto declared as he held out his parfait to Sasuke as promised. Sasuke took a bite of the chocolate-covered parfait and made a face.

"You mean, yours is too sweet."

"You talk like an old man," Naruto said, sticking his tongue out. "We would be better off if we investigate the central area after dark. If we get caught, we can say that... uh... we were looking for a place to make-out! You know, a place with not much people."

"Does Narue know how?" Sasuke quietly asked, finishing off his parfait. Naruto curiously looked at Sasuke.

"Do I know how to do what?"

Sasuke lowered his head and almost whispered, "...make-out."

Naruto was dumbfounded. He stared at Sasuke before the words registered and he blushed to the roots of his hair. He turned away and stuffed the remainder of the parfait into his mouth. Eating always helped him to think. Well, it stalled time anyway.

"Wha-wha-why would you ask me that?" Naruto finally stammered, clutching the hem of his dress tightly. "Do... don't ask embarrassing things like that, stupid."

"But we're a couple in this mission," Sasuke quite seriously said. Even though his tone of voice was neutral, his face was almost as red as Naruto's. "We... have to know how to... you know, so that it won't look suspicious if we have to... that is..."

"How would I know something like that?" Naruto snapped. He glared at the ground before he quietly asked, "...do _you_ know how?"

"...no."

This was the first time that the silence that filled the air around them felt so uncomfortable. Naruto felt like he was choking. He wanted to kill Sasuke for bringing up this topic. But Sasuke was right; for this mission, they might have to...

Argh. They were both boys! That was totally disgusting. Cross-dressing was one thing, but making out with another boy? Naruto felt his skin crawl just at the thought of doing perverted things with _Sasuke_, of all people. And what did Sasuke mean he didn't know how to make-out? He was one of the most popular boy in the entire village, for crying out loud! Didn't he have any experience?

"...let's practice."

Naruto snapped his head up to goggle at Sasuke. Sasuke was looking at him, determined light in his eyes. He softly repeated himself. "Let's... practice kissing, Narue..."

Then Sasuke was closing the distance between them. Naruto sat paralyzed in his seat. He wanted to run away. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch Sasuke. He wanted to...

Sasuke kissed Naruto. Sasuke's kiss was clumsy and awkward, but his heart was in it. His arm was wrapped around Naruto's shoulder and waist, pulling the smaller boy firmly against him. Sasuke tasted strangely sweet. Then Naruto remembered the parfait they had just ate and blushed. Sasuke's lips felt unexpectedly soft and warm, and Naruto actually enjoyed the sensation once he became used to it. Naruto started to kiss Sasuke back without thinking, and Sasuke's grip on his body tightened. Then the boys parted, breathing slightly harder, both blushing furiously. Sasuke suddenly leapt up from his seat.

"Excuse me."

Naruto watched as Sasuke ran to the nearest water fountain and started to drench his head with cold water. Naruto blushed even darker shade of red as he lowered his head and fidgeted with his dress. If nothing else, dresses were useful to fidget with. It was impossible to finger the hem of pants without looking really stupid, but the dress only reached up to his knees. Naruto grasped the edge of the fabric and nervously twirled it around his finger. Heavy footsteps told Naruto that Sasuke was returning. Naruto didn't look up. Sasuke stood in front of Naruto.

"...are you mad?"

Naruto shook his head. 

"...sorry."

Naruto shook his head again. 

"...you probably think that I'm a pervert."

Naruto shook his head yet again. He slowly stood up and lifted his head to look at Sasuke. His eyes had a strange glint to it. It looked like he'll burst into tears. Sasuke hesitated, then carefully gathered Naruto up into his arms. Naruto clutched the back of Sasuke's shirt tightly. "It felt good," Naruto murmured into Sasuke's shirt, sounding surprised. Sasuke turned his head to look down at Naruto.

"What did?"

"...kiss." Naruto buried his face further into Sasuke's shirt. "I don't understand."

Sasuke did not have a reply for that. Naruto slowly broke away from Sasuke and sat on the bench again. He stared far into the distance, his eyes seemingly lost in thoughts. He finally shook his head.

"I don't understand after all... Do... do friends kiss like this, too, Sasuke? I mean, is it normal? Even for a mission, it... I mean, it was weird, right?"

Sasuke nodded. He wasn't sure what he wanted to tell Naruto. He wasn't even sure of his own feelings. He never had feelings for anyone before. Now that he did have someone that he liked, he discovered that he was failing beautifully at expressing his feelings. He wasn't sure how to behave nor what to do. The closer he got to Naruto, the more pain he seemed to inflict upon the other boy. But the further he moved away from Naruto, the more pain he himself felt. His feelings didn't reach Naruto. His feelings were up in the air, and he couldn't even admit his own feelings to himself.

"Do you hate me, Narue?" Sasuke asked, his voice unsteady. Naruto shook his head. Sasuke closed his eyes. "I don't hate you, either... So... Let's continue with this mission? As a couple? We'll think more about these... feelings... later. I won't kiss you unless I absolutely have to. So... stay with me?"

Naruto slowly nodded, his cheek wet with tears. He managed a watery smile at Sasuke.

"...we can still remain friends, right?"

Sasuke nodded. Naruto cried harder.

* * * * *

Hi-chan ni Makase Toke!

Whoa... This was the hardest chapter to write so far. I didn't know what to write. I kept getting stuck between dialogues, because I didn't know what to say, either. The Rurouni Kenshin song was really hard to translate, too. ^^;; 

The flower language was "You are perfect in your beauty. I hope for love from you." or something like that. I'm sorry if the English name for the flowers were wrong... Males like flowers, too, for any who questions Naruto's delight over those flowers. Don't scratch off 'flowers' from your list of things you might get for your boyfriend /dad /brother's birthday present...! XP

At this point, Shiro is almost as confused as Sasuke and Naruto. *laughs* I know what the ending will be, but I'm not sure how to go about to get to that ending. Nn. Ah well, I'll think about that later... All I know is there will be lots of blood, fluff, and tears involved. I'm sorry to make you suffer, Naruto & Sasuke! ^^;; I'm sorry for messing up your charas, Kishimoto-sensei! ^^;; - isn't really sorry


	6. For Real

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

* * * * *

The eyes that stare far into distance tells me that you're listening to your heart's voice/ Still embracing the blue moon

Your strength to be able to keep running will open the new doors/ Light up the nearly extinguished night

Even if I'm the only one... I still want to believe in you...

And at that moment, the world will start to move!

What shall I look for, as I throw up my heart?/ We will meet again, if that is the truth

What shall I look at, as I reach out with these hands?/ The truth that you had so desperately obtained... 

LET IT GO, and just believe!

-- "For Real", Gensou Maden Saiyuki 1st OP

* * * * *

"Are there any _anbu_ movements at Hidden Leaf?"

"No sir. Everything is pretty much relaxed as of now."

"Nothing suspicious, then?"

"No sir."

Naruto's eyes widened while Sasuke's expression hardened. The boys had hidden themselves into the shadows and crept into the heart of the central as soon as the sun had set. They did not expect to hit the jackpot right away. But this was clearly a plan of invasion they had stumbled across. Sasuke nodded to Naruto, and Naruto stepped a little closer, straining his ears.

"Then our plans can proceed according to the schedule. Where is that brother of mine? He always misses out on the important meetings," A gruff male voice complained. Sasuke frowned as he mouthed 'Kankuro' to Naruto. Naruto shrugged his shoulder to show that he wasn't sure if the voice belonged to Kankuro. 

"No kidding," a female voice dryly inputted. Naruto's eyes widened. 'Temari,' he mouthed to Sasuke. Sasuke nodded. Naruto's eyes looked troubled. Sasuke gently took Naruto's hand and squeezed on it reassuringly. Naruto bit his lips as he leaned against the wall to further hide himself among the shadows. "He's probably moping around at his room again," Temari continued. "Pining for his love. Pathetic... You, behind that wall screen, come out before I make you come out."

"Shit," Sasuke cursed while Naruto's eyes widened. They've been found. "Run like you've never run before, Narue," Sasuke gravely said. "Route A. I'll distract them via Route B. We'll meet at the gate of the Hidden Sand. Run!"

"But... Sasuke!" Naruto protested, his face paling. But Sasuke had already leapt out from their hiding place, swiftly avoiding the clutching hands and outraged faces. Naruto started to run in the opposite direction. He didn't want to part with Sasuke. But he had been living within a dream. This was the reality; they were on a mission, and death lurked just around the corner...

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered, suddenly horrified of what he had done. He had escaped while Sasuke distracted others. He had abandoned Sasuke. But that was what they were taught. Their mission was to gather information on possible invasion. Naruto had that information. His duty was to report back to Hidden Leaf with that information. But Naruto stopped and looked back at the direction which Sasuke had gone, his eyes wavering. He started to turn and run back to Sasuke. Even if they were tortured and killed, they would still be together. That was the only thought that filled Naruto's mind.

A hand reached out and firmly grasped his upper arm. Naruto immediately reacted, burying his kunai in his attacker's arm using his free hand while his legs swung out for a kick. The person's other hand easily blocked the kick, then the person knocked Naruto off of his feet to press him down to the floor. Immobile and helpless, Naruto closed his eyes in shame. He had failed.

"Don't resist and follow," a rough voice said. Surprised, Naruto raised his head. 

"...Gaara..."

* * * * *

Naruto slouched on Gaara's bed, his head hanging low in shame. Gaara wordlessly regarded him. He then pushed a cup of hot green tea into his hand. Naruto looked up at the other boy, surprised, before pressing his cheek against the warmth of the cup. The warmth was relieving.

"Thank you," Naruto softly said, resisting the urge to cry. He was captured by Gaara, of all people, and he had no idea what happened to Sasuke. He was an utter failure, a useless person, a dunce as Sasuke always called him. "Do you... do you know what happened to my companion? I..."

"I'll tell you as soon as I find out," Gaara said, leaning against the wall. His arms were crossed over his chest. His cold green-blue eyes regarded Naruto wearily before he sniffed, looking at Naruto with obvious distaste. "But first tell me why you are in that ridiculous form, Uzumaki. And change back into your original form."

Naruto looked up, startled. Gaara had seen through his disguise that even Sasuke had not been able to see? He sheepishly nodded before gathering his hands together to release his _chakra_. With a cloud of smoke, Naruto had gained his original male body.

"How did you know?" Naruto asked, grinning tiredly. Gaara tossed him some of his own clothes, and Naruto gratefully changed out of his dress. Gaara's clothes were too big on him. Go figure, he was smaller than even Hinata.

"How could I not know?" Gaara pointedly replied. "Your blood of nine-tails screams out to my raccoon's blood. The demon raccoon within me is howling to be released so that it can rip your nine-tailed demon fox to shreds. I warn him that it will be the other way around, but he never listens."

Naruto nodded, smiling slightly. "Gaara really is the only one who can understand how it feels to be carrying a monster inside... Long time no see, Gaara."

Gaara nodded. He looked sideways at Naruto, and Naruto sighed. "On a mission. To find out if there are any plans of invasion for Hidden Leaf again. Order of the hokage."

"That hokage of yours really is perceptive," Gaara said, in a tone that almost sounded like he was respecting the Godaime Hokage. He pushed off the wall to walk over to Naruto and join him on the bed. "You probably figured out that she wasn't mistaken."

Naruto nodded, then smiled crookedly. "So? I can't get out of here to report that anyway, so what is the use?" He took a sip of the warm tea that Gaara had given him. He tightly closed his eyes, lowering his head once again. "I just hope... I just hope Sasuke is all right..."

"Uchiha is with you?" Gaara asked, staring at the wall in front of him rather than looking at Naruto. Naruto nodded. He knew Gaara was watching him from the corner of his eyes.

"They thought a girl spy would attract less unwanted attention," Naruto supplied. Somehow, even though Gaara was expressionless, he was able to read off Gaara's feelings right away. It was completely different from when he was with Sasuke. Even when Sasuke's face was full of emotions, Naruto couldn't read them. It was strange. Naruto thought it might have something to do with the demons sealed inside himself and Gaara that somehow gave them such close connection. "Sasuke's here as my boyfriend. You know, to keep off the perverts and... in case something like... this... happens..."

Naruto finally broke down at that, tears running down his cheeks. The last time he cried, Sasuke had warmly held him in his arms. Now Sasuke wasn't here. Gaara didn't move from his spot, neither did he look at Naruto. He just left Naruto alone to cry. Finally Naruto calmed himself enough to wipe off his tears and grin at Gaara. 

"Whoa, that was embarrassing. Sorry about that. I think the whole changing gender thing is starting to affect my hormones or something. All those estrogens."

"...it's okay." Gaara gestured to his bed. "Stay at my room and rest for the tonight; you need plenty of rest if you plan to do anything tomorrow. Don't go anywhere. I'll bring you food and anything else you might need. I'll try to find a way to get you out of here safely the first thing tomorrow."

Naruto looked at Gaara, startled. "...Gaara. You'll be betraying your own village if you did that...!"

"I don't give a shit," Gaara spat, looking disgusted. "I'm sick and tired of this war game. The smell of blood merely makes me nauseated. And I do not consider this village mine. Everyone in here is just obsessed with using me as much as possible."

Naruto looked at Gaara, his expression saddened. He softly smiled. "...thank you, Gaara."

"Che. It's not for you I'm doing this. Go to sleep, fox."

"Yeah, sure, raccoon... Stay in the room with me?"

"Of course I will. This happens to be my room."

Naruto chuckled at that. "I am often surprised by my own stupidity. Good night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Gaara echoed. After the boys had gotten prepared for bed-- in Gaara's case, it wasn't for sleeping, but he washed up with Naruto anyway-- they turned the lights off and climbed into Gaara's bed together. The room was silent, then was filled with quiet, steady sound of breathing as Naruto surrendered to slumber. Gaara stared out of the window at the starless sky. Then he turned to his companion, who was peacefully asleep next to him. His hand gently brushed back tussled strands of golden hair. As the night wore on, Naruto tossed and turned, moaning Sasuke's name in intervals. Occasionally tears accompanied his anguished voice. Gaara wiped Naruto's tears away and gently patted his head, as if Naruto was a frightened child in need of a comfort. Gaara spend that night quietly comforting Naruto from his nightmares. 

* * * * *

Sasuke stared up at the ceiling. Screw the genius _ninja_ bit. He had been no match against seven of the top soldiers of Hidden Sand. Two of the seven had included Gaara's siblings. The chains felt uncomfortably cold and heavy against his arms and legs. The jail cell was cramped and tiny, but it was clean. Bearable. The only unbearable thing was not knowing what happened to Naruto. Sasuke bit his lips down, then sharply banged his head against the cell wall in frustration. He had bowed to be strong enough to be able to protect the ones he loved when his parents were killed.

He had failed once again.

Just how stronger did he have to be before he did not have to inflict pain upon anyone else? Even the child that he loved the most, he couldn't protect when a dire situation rose... Sasuke heavily sighed and looked down upon his body. His body had been cut and slashed in numerous places, and he was a bit troubled that the bleeding still hasn't stopped. Well, dying from the lack of red blood cells might actually be more merciful than dying slowly by torture they'll surely inflict upon him tomorrow. 

Sasuke shivered as his body temperature lowered hour by hour. Time seemed to be frozen in place. And during that hellish eternity, Sasuke thought of Naruto. His warm, shy smiles. His small body that had fit against his own so perfectly. His sweet kisses. The way those blue eyes would broodingly look at him. The image of Naruto holding the bouquet of flowers he had given him right before this mission and sweetly smiling transfixed itself upon his mind. And with aching heart, Sasuke finally realized that he was madly in love with Naruto. Because of his stupidity, he would never be able to confess his feelings to him now...

Sasuke cursed himself.

* * * * *

Omake, omake~

Let's make this very, very, VERY clear: Sasuke thinks Naruto is an annoying idiot who is a good friend of his. Sasuke thinks Narue is his angel, his love, his life, his light, his soul, all that stuff. Naruto thinks Sasuke is nuts. We're all cool now? ^^;; 

Ukyuu. How did this happen? ^^;; I didn't write about the mission at all so far, despite the mission being the center theme of this fan fiction. So I told myself to write about the mission, and... things... happened. I like Gaara a lot. He was adorable as a child! I also think his uncle was very evil and beautiful. *laughs* I seem to have an obsession with evil and beautiful people.

I love Gensou Maden Saiyuki to death. X.x Minekura Kazuya-sensei draws such cool comics! Gokuu is my favorite(I love his voice actor, too). Even though he's around my age(if you don't count those additional 500 years), he's so cute! "For Real" is a really, really cool song. Please, please download it if you ever come across it. I almost had a heart-attack when I first heard it; it was that cool. I don't like the Saiyuki Reload OP as much... ^^;; But Reload stories are achingly beautiful.

I wanted a shock therapy to beat it into Sasuke's head that he loved Naruto(or rather, Narue), but I think I went too far down that road. I'm sorry, Sasuke! But at least you're out of that mental anguish over what your feelings for Narue was. ^^;; Now I need to work on Naruto's feelings. *rubs his hands together in glee*

General answers... Face powders that women use don't wash off easily with water, right? Because it's oil based? Well, if it does wash off easily... please pretend Naruto's face powder is special water-proof kind. ^^;; Naruto is crying because he's confused about his feelings, and he knows that it is Narue that Sasuke likes, not him. It really is painful when you are not sure about your feelings. I cried a lot when someone confessed to me, and I couldn't answer her because I wasn't sure of my own feelings. ...but then again, I cried during the Pokemon movie, so I shouldn't talk... .O I _want_ you guys to think of Narue and Naruto as same person, not distinct people. Narue is a he, not a she. Just because Naruto's outer appearance is different does not make him a different person. I want that ambiguity. Sasuke will soon realize that the line between his feelings for Naruto and Narue are blurry. Then he will realize that Naruto and Narue _are_ the same person. That is the key point in this fan fiction. ^^;; And the fact that we don't specify gender in Japanese doesn't help things, I guess. We don't use 'he' or 'she'. We use 'that person', 'that child', etc. We often leave the subject out, actually... "_Sasuke ga kisu wo shimashita_"(Sasuke kissed... him /her /it /them /whatever).

Shirohane-- Shiroi Hane-- means 'white wings'. It's an unhealthy obsession of mine.


	7. Melissa

__

Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. I think the 4th Hokage look like Naruto, except older and a lot hotter. My sister will rip my throat out if I said that to her. _

* * * * *

With your hands, rip apart my memories from afar/ Make it so that I can live on with this sadness/ Go ahead and pierce this heart crushed with love...!

The morning birds have flown off/ Have they discovered the light somewhere?

You know... won't you let me ride on your back? And then leave me at the highest place/ So that the kindness can not reach me anymore

With those hands of yours, tear apart my old thoughts/ Take the sadness so that I can live on/ And then, pierce this heart burdened with love!

-- "Melissa", Full Metal Alchemist 1st OP theme

* * * * *

Someone was patting him. Naruto curled up under the warm covers, basking in the warm hand that was so kindly patting his unruly hair. The hand was so gentle. Like a mother's hand that he had never known. Or... Sasuke's hand. Naruto leaned into the touch, sighing happily.

"Sasuke..."

And with that word, his dreamy state was shattered apart. Naruto slowly sat up as Gaara moved away from him. Gaara watched him expressionlessly. Naruto looked at Gaara, then at the bed, then at the ceiling. It took only seconds before memories of last night came back to him. Sighing heavily, Naruto leaned his back against the wall.

"...good morning."

Gaara nodded in acknowledgement. Naruto closed his eyes, attempting to calm himself down and to think clearly. He had already failed once. He must not fail again. He must rescue Sasuke, if he had been caught, and somehow get back to Hidden Leaf with the information. Gaara broke into his thoughts.

"Uchiha is down at the dungeon."

Naruto did not open his eyes. He was afraid of the tears that will escape if he did so. He was really crying too much lately, but he couldn't help it. "Then he had been caught."

"Yes."

"Will they torture him?"

"I volunteered to be the tormentor. So no."

Naruto sighed in relief, giving Gaara a true smile at last. "Gaara... Thank goodness you're here! I wouldn't have known what to do if Gaara wasn't with me."

Gaara looked embarrassed at that. Naruto, as oblivious as always, did not notice the faint pink that stained Gaara's cheeks. He instead basked in the fact that Sasuke was safe until another thought entered his mind. Naruto nervously played with the blanket that was pooled around him. "Um... Say, Gaara..."

"Be in your girl form."

"Huh?"

"I will tell others that you are my lover, so stay in your girl form. The security here is tight, but no one will recognize you in that form. I think I can manage to get you out of here that way." Naruto nodded approvingly and opened his lips, but Gaara beat him to his question. "And I'll take you to meet Uchiha after breakfast."

Gaara's eyes widened slightly as Naruto pounced on him, embracing him tightly. Gaara's cheeks became a darker shade of pink as Naruto buried his head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Gaara... Thank you so much! I love you!"

Gaara's eyes suddenly became troubled. "...don't say that unless you mean that."

Naruto grinned widely. "I do mean it. I really am thankful."

Gaara sighed and pushed Naruto off of him.

"I wasn't talking about that... Get off of me. Do you want to wear those girl clothes you were wearing yesterday, or do you want to borrow my big sister's _furisode_(traditional clothing normally worn by virgin young women)?"

"What color is the _furisode_?"

"Violet."

"_Furisode_, please."

Gaara snorted and stood up from the bed. Naruto suddenly held his wrist. Gaara, surprised with this act, looked down at Naruto. Naruto stared up at Gaara's face, then frowned and lowered his eyes. Gaara followed his eyes. On Gaara's arm was the wound that Naruto had inflected with a _kunai_ yesterday.

"Don't mind it," Gaara dismissively said, attempting to pull his wrist out of Naruto's hand. "Ever since I learned to properly control the sand with my will, I learned what pain is. I don't mind pain." 

Naruto held on, looking troubled. "...but... my bad, Gaara..." 

Gaara sighed. Naruto looked like a puppy that had been kicked after having an accident on the floor. He kneeled until his eyes were on the same level with Naruto's eyes.

"Naruto, we're soldiers. Even if you had deliberately stabbed me, I would not hold a grudge against you. You didn't even know that it was me that you've stabbed yesterday. And... wound like this is nothing to me. You know that."

Naruto nodded, but his eyes still looked troubled. Gaara thought for a moment, then pulled free from Naruto's grip and retrieved disinfectants and bandages. He handed them to Naruto. "Tell you what. You help me bandage this, and we'll forget that this ever happened."

Looking more relieved, Naruto smiled slightly and nodded. Gaara kneeled in front of Naruto as Naruto carefully applied the iodine and wrapped bandage around the wounded area. Being careful in Naruto's case meant not spilling the entire bottle of iodine on the floor and not wrapping the bandage around Gaara's feet instead of his arm. The end result looked something like what a child playing the doctor game would have accomplished. But Gaara still looked pleased with the messy blob of clothes and iodine. He stood up and ruffled up Naruto's head with his bandage-free hand, then left to retrieve the _furisode_ in question. Naruto was left to gloat over his success.

* * * * *

Sakura sniffled as Ino patiently flipped the next page of their graduation album from the _ninja_ academy. Pointing to a pretty child with long caramel-colored hair and purple eyes, Ino said, "Nee, Sasuke-kun was talking to this girl often when we were third years, right?"

"That's Upperclassman Subin, and he's a boy," Sakura dryly said. She buried her head on the pillow. "Cut that out, Ino. I don't want to know whom Sasuke-kun likes."

Ino frowned as she looked at the list of crossed out female names. "Don't you want to know the style of girl that Sasuke-kun likes? They might break up, you know. We aren't even sure if he has a girl that he likes or not."

"Then do you think he was buying the flowers for someone? Please, Ino, Sasuke-kun is not the type to run errands for anyone, much less someone who would buy flowers to place on his living room!" Sakura snapped. She suddenly broke down. "Why? I tried so hard to please him! What does that girl have that I don't?! I liked him practically my whole life!!!"

She threw her pillow as hard as she can. The pillow hit her closet and bounced off. Sakura started to cry again. Ino sighed. "So let's try to find that girl? Then we'll know what type of girl he likes, right?"

"I don't care what kind of girl he likes! Someone like Sasuke, I don't care anymore! I hate him! As soon as I get my hands on the slut that seduced him, I'm going to rip all the hair off of her damned scalp!"

Ino closed the album and leaned against the wall. "Sakura, I've liked him practically my whole life, too, you know. I am as upset and frustrated as you are. But we need to concentrate upon making him single again, not throwing tantrums. Besides, it's not like he's getting married."

Sakura wiped her tears off and looked at Ino tearfully. "Ino... This is the first time he ever liked someone. His whole life he didn't give a second glance to any girl, and he finally chose someone to give his affection to. Do you think that such an affection will so easily die? He's not that capricious, Ino. I'm sure his feelings are sincere..."

* * * * *

Naruto laughed nervously as he looked down on himself.

"Do I look strange?"

Naruto was dressed in deep purple silk _furisode_ with delicate butterflies on the borders of the long sleeves and skirt hem. White and blood-red ribbon adorned his waist, and his hair had been tied up. Narue's trim body matched the gentle curves of the traditional robe well. In short, Naruto was drop-dead gorgeous.

Gaara stared, then shook his head no. Naruto sighed in relief and held out his hand. Gaara looked at the hand, confused. Naruto broadly grinned. "Aw, come on, Gaara! You said you'll introduce me as your lover, remember? Then we should at least hold hands!"

Gaara snorted and ignored the hand as he started to walk ahead. Naruto rolled his eyes good-naturedly, knowing Gaara was not trying to offend him. Gaara was just not the kind of person to prance around with his love(if he ever got one), holding his love's hand and announcing to the world that he was a love-sick fool. Naruto picked up the edge of his robe carefully as he trotted to keep up with Gaara's quick steps. Neither boy had known how to put on a _furisode_ properly, so they had just done the best that they could. Now Naruto knew that they must have figured something out wrong, because the robe kept slipping off to expose his shoulders. ...or maybe it was because Naruto was so vertically challenged.

Past the dark, eerily corridors and sinister empty rooms, Gaara lead Naruto to the underground dungeon. The place was surprisingly dry despite being underground, but it was almost unbearably austere. The cells were full of people-- or in some cases, what seemed to be part and bits of people-- but the dungeon was deathly silent. Naruto shivered and scooted closer to Gaara. Gaara looked back at Naruto, surprised, then he understood. He firmly took hold of Naruto's hand and continued to walk ahead. Naruto, a bit more relieved with this human contact, quietly followed his friend.

At the darkest corner of the dungeon, Gaara stopped. He bit down on his finger to draw blood and applied his blood across the lock. His hands rapidly performed secret hand seals that would unlock the cell, then Gaara applied his _chakra_ to the lock. With a groan, the heavy door of the cell open, and Gaara cautiously looked around before entering the cell, dragging Naruto with him.

The first thing that hit Naruto was the metallic scent of blood. The scent was so heavy that Naruto hesitated to step further in. When he finally gained enough courage to enter more deeply into the cell-- Gaara had waited while Naruto adjusted to his surroundings-- Naruto finally sighted Sasuke.

Sasuke was asleep. His hands and legs were attached to the wall of the cell by various heavy chains, and his entire body was plastered with dried and fresh blood. Despite all the wounds and the sick state that his body was in, Sasuke still looked beautiful. His skin contrasted against the dark red of his blood to make it look more pale and pearly then it normally would, and the ugly chains merely served to accent the boy's delicate limbs. He looked like an angel of death.

Naruto couldn't hold back his tears when he saw the horrible state that Sasuke was in. He kneeled down and tentatively placed his hand against Sasuke's cheek. His fingers gently smoothed back blood-plastered hairs that stuck to his face. Gaara watched Naruto, his face devoid of emotions. Then he turned away and stared at the wall.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto whispered, horrified. "It's all my fault... Sasuke..."

"Narue... you klutz. You got caught?" A hoarse whisper mockingly asked him. Sasuke's eyes slowly opened, and he crookedly smiled at Naruto. "At least you seem to be in a better state then I am... Are you hurt anywhere?"

"How could you ask me that when you're so badly injured?" Naruto snapped, as he continued to cry and touch Sasuke's face. He carefully hugged Sasuke, letting the boy rest his tired head on his small shoulder. "Are you still bleeding a lot?"

"No, most of the wounds closed up. Stop crying; you're making my headache worse." Sasuke sighed and nuzzled his head against the soft flesh of Naruto's neck. "What happened? What's up with the new _furisode_? Gaara over there made you into his concubine or something?"

"What a thing to say!" Naruto snapped, mock-glaring at Sasuke as he pulled away from Sasuke. He started to examine Sasuke's wounds. "Gaara and I are pals, that's all. Besides, we're too young to have wives, much less concubines."

"...we? Are you planning to get a wife, too?" Sasuke asked, smiling slightly. Naruto looked confused, then nervously laughed.

"Um. Of course not. I meant we're all too young to have a spouse. Um, anyway. Gaara let me bring some disinfectants and stuff to clean you up, so stay still, okay?"

Sasuke lifted his eyebrows slightly. Gaara was not such a generous soul. Frowning, he looked to the direction where Gaara was glaring at the wall. Jealousy was clearly written on his face. Sasuke sighed as a realization struck him. How troublesome... Well, Naruto was _his_. For this mission, anyway.

Sasuke did not even flinch as Naruto clumsily wiped away the blood and set about disinfecting the wounds and bandaging them up. When Naruto was practically sitting on his lap to wrap bandages around his chest, Sasuke suddenly wrapped his arms around Naruto in a fierce embrace. Naruto almost dropped the bottle of iodine and roll of bandages. He looked up at Sasuke questioningly. 

"I thought I might never see you again, Narue," Sasuke quietly said. Naruto nodded in agreement and placed the iodine and bandage on the floor to gingerly hug Sasuke back. Sasuke's hard muscles felt surprisingly soft and warm against his skin. "I wanted to see you..."

Naruto grinned. "Well, you're looking at me now."

Sasuke nodded, smiling slightly. The boys quietly held each other, savoring each other's warmth and fragrance. It was a while before Sasuke opened his lips again.

"This is probably a very bad time to talk about something like this, but... I may never get the chance to tell you, so I'll tell you right now."

Naruto pulled away from Sasuke's arms, looking puzzled. "...yeah?"

"I like you, Narue."

Both Naruto and Gaara flinched at those words.

"I like you... Satou Narue..."

And then Sasuke's lips were upon Naruto's. Naruto froze momentarily, but softened to the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Sasuke's shoulders. Sasuke's kisses were always infinitely gentle and sweet. Sasuke's embrace tightened and Naruto tilted his head slightly to deepen the kiss. Sasuke eagerly responded to this gesture, his hand pressing against the back of Naruto's head firmly. Then the kiss ended, as slowly and as gently as it had started, and Naruto rested his head against Sasuke's chest. Both boys were blushing. Sasuke gave another light kiss to Naruto's nose, then smiled.

Naruto held Sasuke's cheek in his hands, looking at him with confused eyes. Then he gingerly stood up and gathered up the first-aid entities. He looked back at Sasuke.

"You don't have to answer me right now," Sasuke softly said. Naruto numbly nodded. Gaara turned around and grasped Naruto's hand. His grip was so tight that Naruto winced.

"...Gaara?"

Gaara gave a look of pure, unadulterated hatred to Sasuke, then stormed out of the jail cell, dragging Naruto with him. The cell slammed closed, and darkness surrounded Sasuke again. But the boy smiled a peaceful smile.

* * * * *

General Rant

In my twisted mind... "Melissa" strangely sounded like a love confession... You know, like "rip apart my old memories so I can fill my mind with your thoughts" sort of thing. But then maybe I just used that song because I love Full Metal Alchemist so much. ^^;; I cried so much on the seventh episode... When the ending theme came out, and there were all these adorable pictures of Edward, Alphonse, Nina, and Alexander playing... And my little sister laughed at me as I howled. ^^;;

Now _this_ was a fun chapter. Very fun indeed. I was very empathetic with all the charas. When Sasuke was saying to Naruto '_omae no koto ga suki nan da'_(I have feelings for you), my heart was also thumping, as if I was confessing to the girl that I liked. ^.^ Saa, Naruto, what are you going to do?! ...I'm still trying to figure that out, too! ^^;;

I think Gaara is a lot more in-character, compared to Sasuke. He's more dishonest to his feelings, so I'm not sure if Gaara will ever let Naruto know of his feelings. Well, Gaara definitely likes the real Naruto, not Narue like Sasuke. If given choice, Naruto will probably be better off liking Gaara. But heart does not follow the brain's logic at all, and Shiro likes torturing poor Naruto too much. ^^;; Gaara's dialogues, despite being few, are so much fun to write! "_Onna ni modorun da, Naruto_."(Be a girl, Naruto) XD 

I'm happy many of you find slow development of feelings enjoyable! I thought readers might get impatient if not enough romance was involved, but apparently you guys like realism as much as I do. Let us face it: Normal guys don't just go, "hey, I suddenly realize I'm gay. Now let me go f*** my best guy friend, who incidentally has same feelings that I have for him!" Awkward puppy love is what this fan fiction is all about. 

There are two opinions about the characterization (especially in Sasuke's case)-- "out of character, but still adorable" and "amazingly in character". I'll try to evoke more of that "amazingly in character" response, but it really is hard to do that in a fan fiction... ^^;; After all, I am not Kishimoto-sensei, and my angst is completely opposite of the original happy story...


	8. WILL

__

Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. I'm starting to run out of witty stuff to type up here... Oh well, just enjoy the chapter, then..._

* * * * *

Your name that I've been searching for in my land of dreams/ Until someone places it in his heart/ With smile that overcomes this sadness/ May I believe in you?

There wasn't an end, and I couldn't find it/ So I got lost, but/ this wound and this lost feeling,/ I'll change into the light someday.

Because I'm sure the wings that will not lose to 'regrets' are with me,/ I feel that, if you are with me, I can go anywhere

Your name that I've looked for in the land of illusions/ Until I can engrave it into my heart/ With smile that can beat this sadness/ Can I believe you?

At that time, you told me that I can't survive by myself

I suddenly realized that the most precious things are right next to me

It's all right even if we wait for the end of the sky/ because I feel the future reflected in those eyes of yours

May I believe in you...?

-- "Will", Senkaiden Houshin Engi OP Theme

* * * * *

"Gaara... Come on, Gaara!" Naruto protested as Gaara dragged him back to his room. "It hurts... Gaara, slow down! Let go of me!"

Gaara finally stopped his strides, and Naruto sighed in relief. He started to pull his hand away from Gaara's grip, but Gaara held on. Naruto frowned at Gaara's turned back. 

"...what's your problem?" Naruto finally asked.

"Do you like him?" Gaara quietly asked. His voice sounded strangled. Naruto shifted uneasily. Why would Gaara ask him something like that?

"...of course I like him, him being my friend and all..."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about!" Gaara snapped, turning around to glare at Naruto. Naruto sighed and avoided Gaara's eyes.

"I don't know. And it's really none of Gaara's business!" Naruto was suddenly angry. He was angry at Gaara. He was angry at Sasuke. But he was mostly angry at himself for not knowing what his feelings were. "Just leave me alone, okay? What..."

"He doesn't like _you_," Gaara snarled, his eyes narrowing. Naruto flinched and did not reply. "He doesn't know, does he? That Narue and you are the same person. You are not the one that he likes!"

"I'm aware of that!" Naruto snapped back, his voice rising a few octaves higher. Naruto's face crumpled. An anguished voice softly said, "...I know that already..."

Gaara's expression softened. He awkwardly put his hand on top of Naruto's head. "...I'm sorry. Listen..."

"What are you doing here?" A voice broke in. Gaara and Naruto turned to face Temari. Temari gave a questioning look to Naruto. "And who are you?"

"_Ore wa_(I am)... _Boku wa Narue da yo_(I am Narue)," Naruto said, nervously smiling. "Sasaki Narue. Um... I beg of you to think well of me."

Temari gave a scrutinizing look to Naruto. "Cute. But what are you _doing_ here is what I'm asking."

"She's with me," Gaara broke in. "She's my... you know." He gestured with his hand, leaving Temari to complete the unfinished sentence. Temari's eyebrows quirked up. She glanced at Naruto, then at Gaara.

"But I thought you liked... Never mind." Temari turned to give a twisted grin at Naruto. "I'm Gaara's older sister. Pleasure to meet you."

Naruto nodded, then gave a helpless look to Gaara. Gaara gave him a blank look in return. 

"Uchiha Sasuke, right?" Temari suddenly started, her voice changing into business tone. Her expression became serious to match her tone. "I repeat, do not kill him, Gaara. He might become a valuable hostage later. Did you go see him yet?"

"Broke couple of limbs this morning," Gaara automatically answered. Naruto cringed at the thought. Sasuke definitely would have few broken limbs by now if Gaara had not been the tormentor. "He will not reveal anything."

Temari sighed and rolled her eyes. "...stubborn fool. Sasaki."

Naruto looked at Temari questioningly. Temari gave an annoyed look to Gaara as she pointed to Naruto's robe. "I don't even want to know why she's wearing my old _furisode_, Gaara, but don't rip all my clothes apart." She turned to Naruto. "I'll get you some new clothes of your own if you need them. And don't go down to the cell with Gaara; blood doesn't wash well out of the silk."

Corners of Temari's lip quirked up. Gaara had an ominous feeling that she will say something that will make him regret letting her speak. She didn't disappoint him.

"Semen doesn't wash out well, either."

Naruto was trying to understand why Gaara would rip Temari's clothes apart when Gaara turned blue. Naruto was trying to figure out what semen was when Gaara started to advance on Temari, sand pouring out of his gourd as he shook in rage.

"You... you..."

Temari burst into a hearty laughter and ruffled up Naruto's hair. "So Gaara hadn't gotten his paws on you yet? You'll understand it all when you grow up, Sasaki. Don't hurt yourself thinking. I'll see you around, then." And she walked away before Gaara had the time to decide how to kill his sister and before Naruto had the time to figure out what growing up had anything to do with ripping clothes apart.

Naruto gave a questioning look to Gaara. Gaara shook his head.

"Don't ask. You don't want to know. By the way, didn't you say your false last name was Satou?"

Naruto stared at Gaara as if Gaara had gone insane before he smacked himself on the head. "...I knew Sasaki sounded wrong! Argh!"

"...Naruto, you idiot."

* * * * *

Shikamaru opened his left eye to squint at Ino. He removed his hands from the back of his neck so that he can sit up. As he rubbed his eyes to chase the sleep away, Ino relentlessly continued to talk.

"So I want you to think up of anyone that Sasuke-kun had been interested in. During missions, ninja academy days, _chuunin_ exam, whatever."

Shikamaru yawned and scratched the back of his head. "Sasuke's interests, huh? ...Naruto? Oh yeah, and that Neji guy... And the dude with creepy black stuff around his eyes..."

"Think of a girl!" Ino snapped, rolling her eyes. "Were you listening at all?"

"No," Shikamaru quite honestly answered. "Tell me again why I need to be concerned with whom Sasuke's dating? For all you know, it could be a girl from another village. It could be a married woman. Even a five-years-old girl. How would I know what Sasuke's hobbies are?"

Ino sighed. "You really are no help at all."

"And you're annoying," Shikamaru replied in the same resigned tone Ino had just used. Ino looked thoughtful.

"But you gave me an idea; Naruto may know something. Where is he anyway?"

"I heard he died on a mission," Shikamaru wearily said. Ino gave him the dirtiest look she can manage before stomping away. Shikamaru stared at her retreating form, then sighed.

"...how about looking _my_ way once in a while, Yamanaka...?" 

* * * * *

Naruto stretched out on the bed in approximate shape of the Chinese character for "big", staring at the ceiling of Gaara's room. He hadn't bothered to change out of the furisode, even though he was back in his male form. Since the robe was blood-stained, few wrinkles won't ruin it anymore then it was ruined already. Besides, the silk felt comfortable against his skin. His eyes shifted to look at Gaara, brooding at the corner of his room. He knew he should keep quiet so that Gaara can come up with a brilliant plan to enable both Sasuke and him to escape the Hidden Sand Village. He knew keeping his mouth shut at this point in his life would be a very, very good thing. Silence will be beneficial in many ways.

Naruto opened his mouth.

"When can I go?"

"Shut up," Gaara automatically snarled in reply, his eyebrows knitting in disapproval. "For once in your life, keep your trap shut."

"...so when can I go?"

Gaara resisted the urge to smack Naruto. Why did he have to fall in love with this _fool_, of all people? Just what was wrong with him? 

"...it doesn't matter which of you gets to go, right?" Gaara asked. Naruto nodded. Gaara frowned at the ground. "...then Uchiha goes back to your village."

"Huh?! Why?!"

"_Because_," Gaara impatiently said. "If Uchiha stayed here any longer without losing an arm and a leg, it'll look extremely suspicious. Not to mention you can safely stay here and gather more information, while that is utterly impossible for Uchiha. You can go back and forth between here and your village in your girl form, so you can easily finish this mission if you would just stay here and go with that story. You know, about you being my lover."

"I can't believe your sister bought that story," Naruto playfully said, grinning widely. "Please, a rock like you getting sexy dynamite babe like girl form of me for a lover? No way. No freaking way. And you know it."

"Thank you for that little analysis on myself that I did not request," Gaara gruffly said. "I take it you accept my proposal?"

"Yep. Sounds better then anything I can come up with. I had an idea that involves _kage bunshin no jutsu_, _chidori_, and bunch of ass-kicking _taijutsu_ movements--"

"Please, Naruto, I don't want to know--"

"But your idea sounds better." Laughing, Naruto closed his eyes. "But wow, I get two boyfriends in one week when I'm a girl. If only... if only I really had this much fluency with my relationships when I'm myself. ...why do people like fake me, when they despise the real me, Gaara? I'm not even sure who I am anymore..."

"Don't give me that weak-sounding whines," Gaara snarled. "Naruto is Naruto. I couldn't care less about that Narue girl. Naruto is the one who became my... friend. Naruto is the one whom I wish to help right now. Your fake self is not whom I like."

Naruto opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Gaara. He grinned. "...you're a real pal, you know that?"

Gaara merely gave him an annoyed look. Naruto gave him a wider grin. Naruto slowly sat up and gathered himself into a loose ball. "...you know. Unlike Gaara, Sasuke doesn't like me."

Gaara didn't reply. His arms crossed over his chest tightened slightly and his eyes suddenly gained hardness to them, but he kept silent.

"I'm loud, and annoying, and stupid. I'm a burden to him. I don't know what my feelings for him are, because I'm not sure if I'm even supposed to feel anything for a guy. I mean, that's totally gross, right? If someone said to be a week ago that I would seriously consider accepting Sasuke's feelings for me in the very near future, I would have given them the middle finger. I want to believe in Sasuke, but I'm scared of getting hurt. Because he loves fake 'me'..."

Naruto smiled bitterly. "I don't think he would love the real 'me.' Ever. But I want to believe in his feelings so much. I want to believe that Sasuke likes Narue enough to like Naruto, too. I'm so stupid. I'm not even sure of my own feelings, and I'm worrying about Sasuke accepting me..."

"He does not deserve you if he can not accept you for who your are," Gaara coldly said. "Do not even worry over someone like him. If he truly has feelings for you, trifling matter as your gender should not matter to him."

"...trifling? Are you _kidding_?" Naruto asked, laughing humorlessly. "Look, Gaara, I'm talking about being a queer here. Gay. Let's face it; that's just gross. Before I got myself into this mess, I never even thought about another guy that way."

Gaara's expression suddenly froze. His next words were full of thorns. "...is that all you look for in love? Breasts and vagina?"

"Shit, Gaara, you know that's not what I'm talking about!" Naruto suddenly screamed, frustrated. "Why are you confusing me more than I already am?! I hate this! I hate thinking in the first place, and I've been thinking and crying and bitching so much these last few days I think I'm going insane! I..."

Naruto was cut off as Gaara strode over to him and picked him off the bed by his collar. Naruto barely had the time to react before Gaara suddenly crushed his mouth against his. Naruto's eyes widened.

This was wrong.

The warmth, the sensation, the taste, everything was wrong. Gaara's kiss was not Sasuke's kiss. It was not gentle. It was dominating, almost erotically possessive. Naruto grasped Gaara's shoulders and pushed him away. As Gaara backed away, Naruto wiped his mouth with back of his hand, his blue eyes filled with anger and disgust.

"What the f*** is your f***ing problem, you sonnuva...!!!"

"The kiss felt bad, didn't it?" Gaara softly asked. Naruto frowned. "...it's not because I'm a guy, Naruto. It's because I am not Uchiha. If you become more truthful to yourself, you'll realize this. You are not enjoying Uchiha's kisses because you were turning into a freak. You are enjoying his kisses because your true feelings are..."

"I don't want to hear it!" Naruto snapped, covering his ears furiously. His body shook in anger and frustration. "I don't care anymore. I hate all of you. I don't want this anymore!!!"

Naruto slowly sunk to the bed, his head in his arms. "Don't want this anymore..."

* * * * *

Shiro's Useless Ramble

"Will", the beautiful opening of Houshin Engi. Yonekura Chihiro-sama, who sung this song, is my favorite singer. I just love her voice so much...! And Tai Kou Bou is the hottest guy among all the guys I've seen using 'washi'. O.O ('Washi' is only used by really, really old men... Tai Kou Bou is 72 years old, if you do not know him...)

Hm, this chapter was weird... But satisfying, in a twisted way... Naruto's last few sentences sounded weird in English. It goes like "_Kikitaku nee! Mou kanke neette ba yo. Omee-ra zenbu dai kirai. Mou iya datte ba yo! Mou... yada... konna..._" It just has this... tone of speech... that English words can't convey. Oh well... Serious identity crisis was just begging to be written. I obliged and indulged. ^^;; Also some serious denial and mental anguish. Compared to straight girls, straight guys have extreme intolerance to gays. *shrugs* Guys are usually less understanding...

English readers probably have no idea how Narue speaks. Here is an example.

Naruto: _Orette sa, Naruto datte ba yo! Yoroshiku tanomu ze!_

Narue: _Boku, Narue da yo. Yoroshiku onegai ne._

English: My name is Naruto/Narue. I beg of you to think well of me.

Impolite male speech versus children's speech pattern. It's actually quite funny...

...Gaara's really being loved! (_Yokatta ne_, Gaara.) Now I'm so glad I didn't abandon the love-triangle idea. I thought I might get flamed for it, but apparently the readers saw the reasons behind Gaara x Naruto, too. But Naruto, you will stay faithful to Sasuke, won't you? As someone mentioned, Sasuke does have that head-start. ^^;; I guess I should have made Sasuke more austere and reserved like Gaara to keep him in character, but story won't progress much that way...! But I tend to be very empathetic with my favorite characters, and Sasuke being my former #1 favorite, I can't help but mix in some of my personality in him. ^^;; Hm, maybe that's why Sasuke's the most OOC one...


	9. Omokage

__

Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

* * * * *

To the side view of face reflected within the mirror, I overlap you/ _My heart is breaking_

Like the wind that passes by me, I can't hold you/ _Why is it you?_

The fingers that won't reach you, I hold them tightly to myself/ The words that I can never say to you, I'll just drift it among the stars of the sky...

I won't turn back anymore

Aa, even if it hurts/ even if I'm in pain/ it is merely proof that I was born with you

Aa, it's flowing/ at the end of my heart/ _I've made up my mind_

"Omokage", Shaman King 2nd ED Theme

* * * * *

Sasuke gingerly placed his hand upon the chains that bound him. His fingers traced the cold, hard metal to the area where it was connected to the wall. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated his _chakra_ to his hand. Light blue energy surrounded his hands, then started to glow brilliantly as the ball of energy started to expand.

"Chido..." 

But before Sasuke could finish his destructive spell that converted his _chakra_ to the beautiful blue thunder that typified _chidori_, the chains suddenly started to absorb his _chakra_. Cursing, Sasuke pushed more _chakra_ out of his body, but to no avail. The chains absorbed his _chakra_ like sponge absorbing water: quickly and efficiently. Sasuke furiously pulled at the chains that bound him. Fourteen attempts to break himself free all ended in a failure. Somehow the chains had been made to absorb all the _chakra_. But Sasuke was known for his tenacity. He started to release his _chakra_ again.

A hallow chuckle rang through the empty cell. "It's no use. With your level of power, the only thing you can accomplish is dying from using too much _chakra_."

"Go to hell, Gaara," Sasuke spat, giving another tug to the obnoxious chain. "Who asked you to be an asshole?"

"Sasuke, don't be so mean. You're an ass yourself," Naruto cheerfully quipped in before Gaara and Sasuke engaged in a mortal combat. He poked his head out from behind Gaara, grinning widely. "You're back to your usual annoying self, I see."

"Look who's talking, Narue," Sasuke said. His tone was acidic, but his eyes were mild. Naruto made a face at Sasuke. After such friendly greetings between the three boys were exchanged, Naruto set to work on checking Sasuke's wounds. He frowned as he pushed the wobbly bandages apart to examine the various wounds and scars.

"...why are you still bleeding? Is that normal?" Naruto worriedly asked. Some of the wounds have not quite closed up yet, and fresh blood still trickled down from the wounds. Sasuke shrugged and nonchalantly looked down at the wounds.

"Poison was probably applied to the knives to prevent blood from clotting. I suspect snake poison. The cuts are not deep, so don't worry about it."

Naruto nervously fingered a bleeding wound. "Yeah, yeah, Mr. I'm-so-cool. See if I worry for even one second while you die."

"I need to protect you; I won't die to leave you by yourself. Don't worry about stupid things like that," Sasuke gruffly said. He couldn't help the red color that colored his cheeks. Naruto nodded slowly, also blushing slightly. He held out his pinky-finger.

"...you promise then, right...?"

Sasuke obliged Naruto's childish need for reassurance. His fifth finger looped firmly around Naruto's finger, and he shook the hand solemnly. "Yes, I promise. I won't leave you."

Naruto gave Sasuke a relieved smile. He started to pull off blood-soaked bandages to replace them with new bandages. "Gaara's going to unlock the chain, Sasuke. You can use _chidori _to break out of here if the chains are not taking away your _chakra_, right?"

Sasuke nodded. "...where do we meet, then?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked, tugging at a bandage that was stuck to Sasuke's stomach. He frowned. Dried blood had caked the bandage until it was impossible to pull it off without the aid of water or tearing out half of Sasuke's skin. Naruto chose to leave the bandage alone and work on other ones.

"We can't escape together, right? So if we escape separately, then we need to decide on a meeting place right now," Sasuke explained, watching Naruto pulling off the bandages that covered his arm.

"Oh... no, I'm not leaving," Naruto cheerfully said. He was too absorbed in playing nurse to observe Sasuke's expression stiffen drastically.

"...why?"

"Gaara told others that I'm his lover, so I can stay here as long as I want. Then I can send the information back to Hidden Leaf. This mission is going to be a piece of cake now!" Naruto widely grinned and looked up at Sasuke, expecting... well, not a smile back, of course, but at least an approval. His expression fell when Sasuke deeply frowned instead. "...what? What's the problem now?"

"Don't be stupid, Narue. You're coming with me back to the Hidden Leaf," Sasuke said irritably. "We were given this mission as a team. I can't just leave you here to complete the mission by yourself."

"Of course you can. Leaving me here is part of the mission, too," Naruto said, picking up a fresh roll of bandage to tie up Sasuke's wounds. "Shit, don't move... I also abandoned you two days ago, remember? When we were discovered by Temari? At least you are reassured that I'm safe. Besides, sacrificing teammates always happens in missions. Our priority is to finish the mission."

"...how can you say that?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke again. Sasuke's tone of voice had been strange. Sasuke repeated himself. "...how can you say such things, Narue, when you know of my feelings for you...?"

"About that... Um, Sasuke, I..." Naruto uneasily said, his eyes suddenly filling up with uncertainty and fear again. Sasuke didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence.

"How can you pretend to be Gaara's lover when you were assigned as my lover?! I don't want anyone to even _call_ you their lover! I am not going to leave you here with... with... _him_!" Sasuke furiously pointed at Gaara. Gaara snarled in return, and made rude gestures with his hand. But neither boys looked at each other. They had no desire to rip each other's throats out in front of Naruto. Not the best way to impress your crush. 

"Sasuke... Don't insult my friend like that! He's the one saving your sorry ass, so stop being childish and..." Naruto chided, but Sasuke cut him off.

"I don't care about being childish! I like you!" Sasuke suddenly hugged Naruto so tightly that Naruto briefly wondered if his ribs were going to crack. But soon Sasuke made sure Naruto had more things to occupy his mind than broken ribs.

He kissed him.

Naruto emitted a weak squeak of surprise before melting into Sasuke's kiss. No matter how disgusting this seemed to Naruto's mind, Naruto's body was being more and more accustomed to being held and kissed by Sasuke. And his body definitely liked it. Naruto's hand tentatively held Sasuke's cheeks as they kissed, and he felt Sasuke's arms encircling his waist. Sasuke pulled his lips away from Naruto's lips to kiss Naruto's cheeks. Naruto blushed and placed his arms around Sasuke's shoulders as Sasuke kissed and nuzzled against his cheek. His stomach felt weird, and Naruto wondered if he was sick. 

Suddenly Sasuke's lips moved from his cheek to his neck. Naruto almost choked on his own saliva. He started to pull away from Sasuke, but Sasuke firmly held him in place as he nibbled and kissed the sensitive flesh of Naruto's neck.

"Sasu... ke... yada(I don't want this; stop it)...!" Naruto weakly protested. Sasuke ignored him. Naruto gasped as Sasuke bit the flesh covering his collar bone.

Gaara shuddered and covered his ears. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to be here. He felt like throwing up.

Naruto squirmed as Sasuke continued to kiss and make his marks on his skin. Sasuke's lips felt so soft... and hot... and... Naruto felt his mind going blank. Nothing mattered now. Who cared if Sasuke liked Narue, not Naruto? If he can be with Sasuke... Even if it was his fake self, if only he can be liked by Sasuke... Then...

Sasuke's hand tugged at the collar of the _furisode_. The poorly tied ribbons soon gave away to his tugs. Sasuke's hand felt cold against warm flesh of Naruto's chest. Naruto blushed, his half-closed eyes watching Sasuke's hand touch his...

Narue's chest.

Naruto felt like he had been slapped. The chest that Sasuke was touching was not his chest. It was Narue's girl breasts. The person that was being adored by Sasuke was not Uzumaki Naruto. It was Satou Narue. Naruto stared at his girl body in horror. It was this girl body that Sasuke liked. And Naruto felt his heart breaking.

"...Iya(no)!!!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as Naruto punched him as hard as he could. Naruto scrambled away from Sasuke, pulling the _furisode_ tightly around his exposed chest. He stared at Sasuke, then backed away. He was trembling with rage.

"You're the worst. I would never like someone like you."

Both Sasuke and Gaara watched helplessly as Naruto ran out of the cell. Sasuke grimaced and rubbed his bruising cheek. "...shit. What... what the f*** is _my_ problem?! what have I done to her?"

"That's what I want to know," Gaara snarled, finally turning around to give hating look to Sasuke. "You... you're completely disgusting! You're even worse then I thought! How could you... Look, if you have hurt that child in anyway, I will rip your throat out with my bare hands! Is that child's body the only thing you want?!"

"No... no, of course not! I like Narue because she's Narue! It has nothing to do with her body!" Sasuke snapped, glaring at the floor. "...I don't know what came over me. She... she was kissing me back, and I just... I wanted to have her... I don't even understand myself anymore."

"What are you, a dog in heat?" Gaara coldly asked. He kneeled down in front of Sasuke and bit down upon his finger to draw his blood. After letting his blood touch the surface of the chain, Gaara easily dismantled the chains that bound Sasuke. He straightened up and gave a last disgusted look to Sasuke. "... If you're not sincere about that child, I will take care of that child. I only allowed you to be with that child because I thought you can make that child happy. But you're pathetic. Unlike you, I sincerely like that child and I can make that child happy."

"I'm sincere!" Sasuke snapped. "Don't talk about Narue as if she's an object to be coveted and owned!"

"You are the one who talked of possessing that child!"

"Only because she wants me back, unlike you!"

"Get the crap out of here before I decide to kill you right here and now!" Gaara finally exploded. "You don't understand anything! What do you know about that child?! What can you do for that child? Be gone!"

"Gladly!" Sasuke yelled back. One _chidori_ later, and Gaara was left to glare at a huge hole on the cell wall. Gaara slowly sank to the floor of the cell. He blankly stared down at the ground, then started to chuckle softly.

"...I'm so... pathetic..."

* * * * *

Naruto stared down at his body. It was a boy's body. He tightly wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered. "I almost deceived myself," Naruto quietly said. "I was so happy when I thought Sasuke liked me. I wanted to be liked by him so much. I was ready to lie to myself for his affections... Gods..."

Gaara looked out the window at the starless sky. Even the moon was covered up by the clouds. The night air felt chilly and dry. He did not open his lips.

"...I like him."

Naruto's blue eyes glimmered in the darkness. He glared at the air.

"I like that arrogant, anti-social, selfish asshole of a bastard. I like a guy who only likes me for my fake tits. Where did I go wrong?"

Sudden crashing noise told Gaara that Naruto had banged his head against the wall. He still did not turn around. He wasn't sure what he would do to Naruto if he did. Naruto was too vulnerable right now. He might do something that he would regret later if he held such fragile Naruto in his arms.

"...I want to die."

"Please go ahead and do just that. It will make my life so much easier," Gaara snapped back. "I am fed up with your idiocy."

"So am I," Naruto answered, dryly chuckling. He curled up in the corner of the bed, burying his head into his arms. Gaara turned around. He couldn't bear it anymore. Naruto was in so much pain... Gaara's hands reached out warmly embrace Naruto, but his hand faltered midway. Gaara looked at pathetic figure of Naruto huddled over in the bed. He bit down on his lip until he tasted blood. Then he turned away.

The last thing Naruto needed was more heartaches.

* * * * *

Sasuke kneeled over and threw up everything he had inside his stomach. Which was not much-- in fact, almost all of it was his stomach acid. He tasted blood in his mouth. He must have damaged his esophagus from throwing up so much. Sasuke sighed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He furiously shook his head and forced himself to continue to walk. What he wanted to do the most right now was to die. But he promised. He would protect the child he loved with his own hands. To do that, he had to survive. But he had almost died just by escaping from the cell and avoiding the searching eyes of the Hidden Sand soldiers. Even though he had made it to Hidden Leaf in one piece, he wasn't sure if he could make it back to his house.

Where was his house, anyway?

Sasuke shook his head again. The world was blurring around him. He felt hot. He wanted to throw up again. 

"Shit," Sasuke hoarsely whispered as he felt his legs giving out under him. He felt his body hang in midair for few fractions of a second before he started to plummet to the ground. This was going to hurt. This was going to hurt like hell.

"Uchiha, what is your problem?" A cold voice asked. Strong hands caught his arms and pulled him upright again. Sasuke shook his head and squinted his eyes.

"Hyuuga," he croaked out. Then he fainted. 

"Kyaaa! He... he passed out..." Hinata stammered, panicking immediately. Neji rolled his eyes and slung Sasuke's arm around his shoulder.

"Any idiot can see that; don't point out obvious things."

"So... sorry, Neji Oniisan..." Hinata apologized, her voice trembling. Neji gave an annoyed look to Hinata, then gave an even more annoyed look to Sasuke.

"And what's his problem? He's burning with fever, bleeding everywhere, and he's still walking around?"

"He looks poisoned," Hinata softly said, her eyes troubled. "He needs to go to the hospital..."

"And be smothered by screaming and crying fan girls? He'll die even more quickly that way. I think it'll be better if we get him to the hokage"

Hinata hesitated, then nodded. Neji started to walk ahead.

"What's this idiot doing in front of Uzumaki's home at this hour anyway?"

* * * * *

Notes

This is actually version two. Version one was really horrible! Naruto was crying every other paragraph. It even annoyed the writer to no end. Let's be a man, Naruto! No crying! ^^;; So the English version is completely different from the Japanese version in this chapter. ;P

Uwaaa, Sasuke, you pervert. X_x And while Gaara was still in the same room, too...! What happened to your sense of decency? But a lot of males are like that when they're with their love. Their hormones act before their brain has time to think. ^^;; I'm sorry for torturing Sasuke... and torturing Gaara... and pretty much every character...! But this knot will get more tangled up before it gets straightened out. ^^;;

For those of you who know Japanese: Naruto had said, "_Saite...! Omae nanka... zettai suki shinai yo_!" It doesn't exactly say "I hate you", but it sounds so much more harsh... Like "I would never love you in my life, you loser" kind of thing. Poor Sasuke! And Gaara referred to Naruto as "_koitsu_" and "_ano ko_," while Sasuke referred to Naruto as "_aitsu_" and "_kanojyo._" When Sasuke speaks to girl form of Naruto, he says "_kimi_" instead of using the typical "_omae_" form. Gaara retains the "_omae_". ^^;; 

Everyone loves Temari, too. ^^ I think she's really cool, and she also seems very loving to her brother(despite the fact that he scares the shit out of her). I doubt Konoha has sex education, and yes, Naruto probably slept through it even if it did have such things. I did not know about sex until I was 15, so it's very possible for dense Naruto to not know the whole ripping clothes apart thing. ^^;; 

Sasuke's love for Narue most definitely is not love at first sight deal. Sure he thought her outer looks were hot and all, but he only fell in love with her because she had Naruto's personality. She's like Naruto whom he had been close to for most of his life, except she's a really cute girl. So... it was _Naruto's_ soul that Sasuke was attracted to, not _Narue's_ body. Now, to beat that idea into that thick skull of his...! ^^;; And about Sasuke's need to reproduce... That'll probably be discussed in the fan fiction I'll be working on after I finish this. (You're already planning on next fan fiction when you're not even halfway done with this one, you idiot?) ...short attention span. ^^;;

Yaa, but I'm seriously considering writing a Gaara x Naruto fic one of these days. I did not realize Gaara was so popular. I thought it was only me and my twisted hobby of liking most anti-social and disturbed guys, like Uchiha Itachi, Hiiro Yui, Squall Lionheart, and Nataku(both from Saiyuki and Houshin Engi). I really would love to give him a happy ending too, but there isn't anyone that Gaara's really interested in as of now except Naruto. ...maybe if I read further into the graphic novels, something might come up, but... As of now, there really isn't anyone. ^^;;


	10. White Reflection

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. ...Did you know that Naruto actually belongs to Cheddar the Chinese Dwarf Hamster? No, really! That's the truth! Kishimoto is my hamster's pen name! _

...fine, I'll quit being stupid...

* * * * *

__

I feel your love reflection/ In the eyes that reflect mine back, I draw a deep _never ending story_...

As if I am casting away both sadness and pain, I fly off/ I spread open the wings that you have given me within my heart

Aa, this love that can not be replaced/ I want to feel its echo in my heart so that it would wrench my heart and drive me insane!

__

I feel your love reflection/ embrace the burning love/ Even though we are youth full of mistakes, don't be afraid to seek each other out!

We gently express our overflowing emotions even though we are bare-skinned/ As if embracing our strength to be able to be kind

Aa, even in this violent era, I want to be proud and pass through my life with grace

__

I feel your love reflection/ The truth that we share is that/ As long as we can exchange kisses/ We don't need anything else!

__

I feel your love reflection/ In the pupils that look back at me/ I paint an eternal _never ending story..._

"White Reflection", Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz OVA ED Theme

* * * * *

"_Kage bunshin no Jutsu_(Shadow Clone Replication Technique)!"

Naruto stepped away from his clone and critically looked him over, then turned to grin at Gaara and to give him a thumb-up. "Whenever someone asks for Narue, just show them this clone. I'll try to be back before this one's _chakra_ runs out, so please don't stab it with a _kunai_ for fun or anything of that sort."

"Don't put me on the same level as you," Gaara retorted. Naruto sheepishly laughed.

"Yeah, that does sound like something I would do... See you later, then."

Gaara nodded. Naruto waved in farewell, then ran out of the door. Gaara shook his head in disapproval and mild amusement.

"Would it hurt him to _walk_...?" 

He glanced at Naruto's clone. "...you. Turn back to your male form; no one's going to come into my room anyway."

Naruto's clone tilted his head to one side, then returned to Naruto's form with a little explosion of smoke. Gaara was satisfied.

* * * * *

"He would have died had he been without treatment for even one more hour," Tsunade darkly said. She sighed and rubbed her temples. "And he's still unconscious, so we do not know what happened to Naruto."

Kakashi gave a worried look to Tsunade. "But Sasuke will not die, right?"

"No... he's okay now. It'll just take him some time to recover, what with all that poison clogging up his veins and the heavy blood loss. It's a miracle he managed to escape in that state. I fear that Naruto has deceased, from the look of things."

Kakashi couldn't help but agree with the hokage. If even an Uchiha had returned in this condition, it was more likely then not that Naruto had died. He turned to look at Iruka worriedly. After all, Naruto was like a little brother that Iruka never had. Not much emotion was written upon Iruka's face. Kakashi uneasily tried to read Iruka's expression, then gave up and turned his attention back to the hokage.

"Then we are still not sure of anything. Should we send out more spies?"

"We will wait until Sasuke has recovered enough to inform us of the situation before taking any action," Tsunade said. "...and Iruka?"

"Yes?" Iruka softly asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"...you may take this week off. As soon as Sasuke informs us of the location of the corpse, we will arrange a funeral for Naruto. I think Sasuke will be ready to talk by tomorrow morning."

"...thank you, ma'am." Iruka forced a smile, then slowly walked out of the office. Kakashi gave a worried look to Iruka's slumped back. Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"...if you're so worried, then go comfort him. You can do the paperwork tomorrow."

Kakashi, without so much as a word of thanks for excusing him for the evening, grabbed his copy of Go Go Violence and ran out after Iruka. Tsunade sighed at the love-sick fool and resumed her paperwork. Few hours of blissful silence followed until someone opened the window to the office, allowing a blast of freezing wind to scatter the papers everywhere. Surprised, Tsunade got herself into a battle position, then stared in disbelief as Naruto climbed in through the window. He struggled against the wind before he finally managed to close the window. He turned to crookedly smile at Tsunade.

"...long time no see, old hag."

* * * * *

It was snowing. Thick, fluffy white flakes were heavily raining down, covering everything with a cold blanket of snow. Sasuke's eyes followed the movement of a single flake until it landed upon the window sill, where it blended with the mound of snow gathered outside the window. Sasuke deeply sighed and laid his head back to the pillow. The room was cold. He shivered as another drift of chilly breeze made its way through the cracks under the window.

"It's cold in this room," a childish voice whined. Sasuke's eyes widened. He turned his head to gawk at Naruto. Naruto rubbed his arms with his hand, shivering, as he walked up to Sasuke and settled next to him on the bed. He smiled his insane, stupidly energetic grin. "So, Uchiha. I heard you got your ass royally kicked."

"So much for keeping this mission secret from everyone. The old cow," Sasuke bitterly muttered. His paralyzed body barely enabled him to speak, but he managed throaty whispers. Naruto laughed. "It's not a laughing matter, Uzumaki. If even one girl manages to find me in this state and chokes the life out of me by screaming and ranting and promising my vengeance, you will not live to see tomorrow."

"I'm stupid, but even I have common sense," Naruto retorted. He looked around at the empty room. "Well, the central building wasn't built to be exactly a comfy home to anyone, but this really is awful. And they only gave you this mad thin blanket! So much for the old hag's nursing skills."

"They don't have heater here. Something about people working more efficiently if they're freezing their butts off," Sasuke replied. "But I do empathize with you about the old hag thing."

"Before the antidotes work, you'll freeze to death," Naruto cheerfully said. He pulled his orange jacket off and pulled it over Sasuke's body. Sasuke frowned.

"...I don't need this, Naruto. You're cold, too, aren't you?"

"So we're gonna share the blanket and jacket!" Naruto triumphly announced. With that he jumped under the covers. Sasuke could have sworn at least four stitches broke open when Naruto jumped into the bed. He gave his most annoyed look to Naruto.

"... Naruto, don't invade my personal space. And a nearly grown boy like you is the last person I want to share a blanket with."

"You can go to hell," Naruto cheerfully replied, snuggling closer to Sasuke's warmth. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but did not attempt to get Naruto out of the bed. It was cold, and Naruto was surprisingly warm. Not to mention his fragrance strangely reminded him of Narue...

Naruto squeaked as Sasuke took hold of his cheeks and stared at his face.

"Wha- what's gotten into you?!"

"... you definitely do have a cute face--"

"Do NOT!"

"--but your face definitely is a boy face... I wonder if I keep being reminded of that child because you have same eye color? Argh. Or maybe I'm really sick and I need to sleep."

"What the freak are you talking about? Let go of me!" Naruto slapped Sasuke's hand away, scowling deeply. He pouted and turned his back to Sasuke. "You're such an asshole. I came to see if you had any last requests before you died because I'm such a generous, caring soul, and you complain about my face."

"My bad," Sasuke said, and Naruto's scowl deepened. Sasuke didn't sound sorry. Naruto briefly wondered if it would be considered unfair if he hit one of Sasuke's wound. He would deserve it, the damn, stubborn--

"First snow of the year," Sasuke broke into Naruto's murderous thoughts. He shifted his head to stare out at the window again. "Doesn't it feel like the heavens are crying?"

"What's up with the melodrama?" Naruto dryly asked, watching the snow flakes heavily raining down. "You sound like someone took your candies."

"No, and I don't like sweets... but I recently confessed my feelings to someone, and got rejected," Sasuke lightly said. "It's probably for the best. I really can not love anyone... I was never taught how..."

"Who gets taught how to love?" Naruto snorted, lightly smacking the back of Sasuke's head. "For someone who's supposed to be brilliant, you sure are dumb."

"Please. I can not bear to live after being called 'dumb' by a dunce. That's just too much shame for one person to bear in his life time."

"Then die! You're a royal pain in the ass!"

"So are you." 

Both boys snickered lightly. Verbal insults were common between the two, and was often more of a playful fight then any serious offence. Sasuke turned to give a twisted grin to Naruto. "... but you are the only one that can manage a smile from me, aside from that child. Thank you for coming to visit, Naruto."

Naruto was surprised at the sincerity of Sasuke's voice. He tried to think of a witty retort to make himself less embarrassed, but he couldn't think of anything. So he answered quite truthfully. "...my pleasure."

Silence fell upon the room. Snow continued to fall. Sasuke and Naruto quietly watched the passage of the snowflakes, enveloped in each other's warmth and comforted by each other's company. Sasuke shivered as another drift made its way through the gaps in the window. He slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position, grimacing with pain at every small movements.

"...I think the window might be slightly open."

"You moron! You should've asked me to close it again, then!" Naruto impatiently said, sitting up as well. He leaned over Sasuke to close the window, but somehow managed to tangle himself up in the blankets.

"Ari?!"

Naruto shrieked as he tripped over himself and fell right on top of Sasuke. Sasuke gave a grunt of pain as he felt some more stitches bursting open. Naruto flapped his arms wildly over his head, attempting to balance himself upright again, but failed and only managed to rest his arms on either side of Sasuke's body. 

The biggest problem, then, was that Naruto's lips ended up on top of Sasuke's. 

Both boys stared at each other in mutual shock. Sasuke's eyes glittered beady black in the darkness, while the moonlight illuminated Naruto's blue eyes to make it almost glass-like in quality. Something about each other's eyes held the boys in place. Then Sasuke softened to the kiss, tilting his head slightly to the side, and Naruto in turn also relaxed to the kiss. This was a ritual that was familiar to both of their bodies. Naruto's small body snugly fit into Sasuke's larger body, and their arms unconsciously reached out to encircle their respective bodies into a warm embrace. Soft, wet entity gently caressed Naruto's bottom lip, and Naruto wondered what the thing was until it entered his mouth.

Naruto's closed eyes snapped open when Sasuke pushed his tongue into his mouth. Sudden jolt of electricity ran through his body, and Naruto furiously blushed at the sensation. The mere thought of someone else's tongue in his mouth left him disgusted, but this seemed... so right. As if Sasuke had all the right in the world to have Naruto's mouth like this. But the sensation was still foreign to him, and Naruto was scared, and Sasuke was deep-kissing him, and he was in his male form, and by golly Sasuke's going to do things to him that they're both going to regret tomorrow morning because of his f***ed up hormones, and...

Naruto bit down on Sasuke's tongue. Sasuke gave a short choking noise before pulling his lips away from Naruto. Sasuke gave a glazed look at Naruto, then his head fell to the side. And then he fell asleep.

__

'What?'

Naruto stared at Sasuke in disbelief as Sasuke peacefully slept. He touched his slightly swollen lips with his hands, then stared at Sasuke some more. He suddenly had a desire to murder Sasuke in the most brutal, lethal way he could think of. He fell asleep in middle of kissing someone?! It was then that Naruto noticed Sasuke's flushed face. His hand touched Sasuke's head, and he flinched. Sasuke was burning with fever again. Then the kiss was sleep and drug-induced. It did not hold any meaning. The loving embrace and kiss given to Uzumaki Naruto would probably not even be remembered by Sasuke in the morning...

Naruto brushed back messy locks of Sasuke's hair. He then bitterly smiled and leaned down to kiss Sasuke's forehead.

"... Even if it's just an illusion... I'll give you your happiness, Sasuke. I'll stay in Narue's form for the rest of my life, if that will make you happy. Because your happiness is my happiness..."

A lone tear slowly made its way down Naruto's cheek.

"Because I like you... Even if I am swallowed up by the darkness, if it's for you, even that will be a happiness..."

* * * * *

It started to snow in NY at December 1st, but yesterday(December 5th) was the first snow storm of the year. It was really beautiful! It's snowing like crazy right now, too. Forgive the sappiness; snows always make me sappy. And "White Reflection" and "Snow Planet" starts running through my mind at a frantic pace, like a broken record, and the loop goes on and on. I can even see images of Hiiro walking through the snow with the flower and dead puppy in his arms. It's enough to drive any sane person insane. (But I am already insane, so it's okay.) How I love TWO MIX... *_* "White Reflection" is the representation of my high school sophomore year, because that year, I became seriously obsessed with Gundam Wing after watching Endless Waltz. ^^;; Endless Waltz's Wing Zero Gundam is... is... *drools and becomes lost for words*

I love KakaIru pairing, but I don't think I'll ever write one. I don't understand Kakashi. He's weird. He's cool, but he's really screwed. And every time I think of Kakashi or Iruka, I think of Kakashi x Sasuke or some other unsavory pairing like that, due to crazy Japanese fan comic artists... I swear, they're obsessed with drawing strangest pairings. SasuNaru is a rarity in doujinshi. Honestly. In the anthologies I have, out of the entire book there are usually only one or two SasuNaru. I apologize if you like Kakashi x Sasuke or Iruka x Naruto, but... X.x


	11. Atarashii Taiyou

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. May finals be sent and be burnt forever in hell! *sobs*_

* * * * *

A new sun had started to rise/ It opens up the eastern sky

In order to know courage/ in order to shed tears/ I came to this world

You don't know, right?/ Many tales in this world have to be told

I had waited for new comrades and new strength

Within the palms of these yet small hands, within light that illuminates the tomorrow

You're a bright and shining light, you're a bright and shining light...

A new sun; that is your name

It's the bright and shining light, you're the bright and shining light

Your tale is starting just now, from here!

"Atarashii Taiyou", Digimon Adventures 02(Yagami Taichi's Image Song)

* * * * *

__

Ano ko wa hikari datta(That child was the light).

Gaara had been cursed the moment he had been born to this world by his own father and mother. He had been created to become the ultimate weapon. He was raised to be the perfect soldier. No one was able to hurt him. No one was able to kill him. No emotions, no regrets. No one to love him, and no one to return the love to. His life was a big void, filled with meaningless murders in a futile attempt to find even a strand of logic for his existence. What was the point of living? What was the point of his creation? Who had the right to make his life so miserable? Killing was good. When he killed, he could feel that he was alive. He was alive, so he could take the life away from others. That was all he needed. He wanted to be alive, because being dead sounded lonelier than being alive. Maybe if he continued to live, he'll find that meaning. Maybe if he continued to live, someone will rescue him from himself.

"Gaara!"

The voice was a clear, pure sound that penetrated through the darkness. Naruto was his light. Naruto understood the darkness in his heart. Naruto understood true loneliness. Naruto was always smiling, full of energy, and gods he was so warm... And that warm light penetrated into his heart, his soul, and to his chagrin Gaara discovered that he had fallen in love with the golden-haired child.

"I like you."

Naruto looked at him with an unreadable expression. He sadly smiled.

"...sorry, Gaara."

Gaara nodded. The light did not hesitate to illuminate and warm him, but the light did not want to belong to him. The light was in love with another light. Naruto was the golden sunlight, and Sasuke was the silver moonlight. Naruto was bright, open, and full of life, while Sasuke was quiet, mysterious, and serene. The two complimented each other in their opposite beauty. And Gaara, the darkness, was forced into the corner where he would not stain the beautiful rays of lights. Gaara reached out and gingerly pulled Naruto into his arms.

"... when you can no longer pretend to be strong, return to me."

Naruto shook his head. "... the only arms that can comfort me are someone else's arms... You're not the one..."

"Don't I have any chance?"

"My only feelings for you are those of friendship and trust."

"Then... Let me just fool myself for tonight," Gaara pleaded, his voice anguished. "Just for tonight... Pretend to love me. Please?"

Naruto gazed at Gaara silently. His eyes were full of pity and sadness. He wordlessly wrapped his arms around Gaara's body. He lifted his head up to stare into Gaara's eyes. Naruto's eyes were achingly beautiful. They were color of the deepest and purest of the sea. Innocence and untimely maturity overlapped each other in the pupils. But these eyes did not hold the fiery passion for living and determination to never give up, for these eyes were mere clones of real Naruto's eyes. The shadow replication technique transferred _chakra_, personality, and exact body of the technique performer, but it failed to split the soul. Gaara held the soulless doll in his arms lovingly, gently, as if it was a fragile entity that will break apart at the slightest rough movement. 

Naruto tilted his head upwards and closed his eyes. Gaara lowered his head and pressed his lips against the other's lips. Scarlet and golden strands of hair messily mingled together as the boys slowly fell back into the bed. Naruto's hand tightly clutched at Gaara's shirt as Gaara's tongue made its way into his mouth roughly. Naruto squirmed uncomfortably at the unfamiliar taste and sensations. Gaara abruptly broke the kiss to pull off Naruto's shirt.

Sasuke's marks mockingly stood out on the object of his affection's neck.

Gaara traced his finger around the dark pink marks. Naruto's eyes followed Gaara's hand movements, then he looked up to meet Gaara's eyes. Gaara gave a bitter smile. " May you always be happy in his arms, most precious one."

Then a _kunai_ was buried into Naruto's throat. Naruto reached up to rest his hand against Gaara's cheek. Then the clone exploded, and vanished among the thick cloud of smoke. A soft voice echoed in the empty room.

"Sorry, Gaara..."

* * * * *

"Good. Morn. Ning~!" Naruto chirped. Iruka stared at Naruto. Then he slammed the door on Naruto's face.

"Uwaaa!!! Professor Irukaaaa~!!!" Naruto whined, banging on the door with his fists. "Don't shut me out! What did I do this time?!"

The door suddenly swung open again, and Naruto almost had his nose cut off. His reflexes, most luckily, advised him to jump back in time, thus saving his nose. Iruka was smiling. With vein throbbing at the side of his head. Naruto gulped and smiled nervously. If needed to be, he was ready to run like hell. 

"Why are you alive?" Iruka asked, cracking his knuckles. Naruto blinked.

"...huh?"

"Why are you alive when I got drunk and am currently dying of a hangover in honor of your death?! Why?! Why are you even more energetic and healthy than you normally are?!"

Naruto laughed uneasily. "Well, even if you say that... I can't really apologize for being alive... Uh, if you're really mad, you can smack me couple of times, but nothing lethal. Okay...?"

Naruto squeaked as Iruka suddenly lounged forward and gathered him up into a bear hug. "...thank goodness you're safe, you trouble-maker..."

Naruto looked at Iruka before his eyes softened. He hugged Iruka back, a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry to make you worried. I came back home."

"Welcome back."

"Yeah, welcome back," a voice echoed. Naruto pulled away from Iruka to gawk at Kakashi. Kakashi waved at him. Naruto continued to gawk.

"What in the name of all that is reasonable are _you_ doing here?" Naruto asked, frowning. Kakashi shrugged and pointed at Iruka.

"Ask him."

Naruto turned his gaze back to Iruka. Iruka's eyes widened, then he looked from Naruto to Kakashi. He gave a helpless smile and stood up.

"Er. I'll go get some tea."

As Iruka wandered away to the kitchen, Naruto decided that he didn't really want to know what kind of strange hobbies adults had, so he didn't push the issue. He instead handed a scroll to Kakashi.

"I was going to give the mission report to Professor Iruka, because you were so _nice_ and _encouraging_ the last time I gave you a mission report, but I guess I'll leave this to you again." Naruto looked proud. "Because I'm so very forgiving."

"I can't read this."

"What?! Even kindergartners can read _hiragana_!"

"Even the most talented person in the entire village can't read what you wrote! How can you make 'ka' indistinguishable from 'wa'?! And you spelled the _kanji_ for '_ima_(now)' wrong! This one means 'to meet'!" Kakashi barked. "If you're dreaming to be a hokage, learn how to read and write! You do have to read and appraise mission reports and requests, you know!"

"I can read and write just fine!" Naruto complained. "And Teacher Iruka doesn't say anything about my writing!"

"That's because he's extremely imaginative," Kakashi sighed and squinted at the scroll. "...I'll just ask Iruka to translate this for me later, then..."

"It's in Japanese~! Stop making fun of me~!" Naruto wailed. "No one appreciates me~!"

"...sure they do. What are those things in your neck?" Kakashi asked, suddenly breaking into a huge grin. Naruto looked confused as he touched his neck.

"What thing?"

"Are those hickeys I see?" Kakashi teased. "So Naruto is already that age!"

"What's a hickey?"

Before Kakashi gave Naruto a detailed lesson on the wonders and mysteries of child-making process, Iruka promptly dropped a scalding hot pot of tea on top of his head. Then he dragged a screeching and burnt Kakashi off to the kitchen, while Naruto decided that he _really_ didn't want to know what adults' hobbies were.

* * * * *

Naruto shifted through the contents of the bag. Now that he was going to stay with Gaara for a while, he had to bring all of his female cloths and toiletries. He had obtained the permission from hokage to carry on with this mission at Hidden Sand, with Sasuke reporting all the information back to the Hidden Leaf. Satisfied with all the things he had stuffed into his bag, Naruto stood up and stretched. Now, to change into his female form.

Sudden banging on his door interrupted him from turning back into Narue. Naruto curiously walked up to his front door. He rarely had any visitors. Who could be visiting him at this early hour? As soon as he opened his door, he was promptly pushed against the wall.

"So spill, Uzumaki," Ino cheerfully said. "Who's the chick?"

Naruto coughed few times, quite winded with Ino and Sakura's dramatic entrance. Or rather, trespass. And assault. "Wha... what chick? What?"

"Do you know who Sasuke-kun likes? Or if he actually does have anyone that he likes?" Sakura nervously asked. "...and oh, good morning," she added as an afterthought.

"What do I care whom that stubborn fool likes?" Naruto grumbled, pushing Ino's hands away from his throat. He pulled his jacket collar higher up to cover his neck, cursing Sasuke under his breath. After he had gotten home, he had checked the mirror to see this 'hickey' that Kakashi talked of, and had cursed Sasuke and any and all members of the Uchiha clan when he saw dark pink kiss and bite marks on his neck. "Ask him yourself."

"Do you know where he is?" Ino asked, tilting her head to one side. "We did look for him, but he is no where to be seen."

Naruto shrugged and avoided Ino's eyes. "Probably on a mission or something..."

Sakura opened her mouth when Ino screeched and pointed. Naruto followed her finger and cursed under his breath. On his table were the flowers that Sasuke had given him. They had dried while Naruto was away, but they were still beautiful. Naruto smiled uneasily as Sakura and Ino advanced on him, looming over his cowering figure. The girls smiled. They were scary.

"I wanted some flowers to brighten up my room, so I asked Sasuke to get some for me!" Naruto automatically sprouted. The girls did not buy it. So Naruto tried again. "Sasuke wanted me to give it to this chick that he liked, but I forgot! It dried!"

Sakura sighed. Naruto was awful at lying. And his lies were getting more lame by the minute. "Look, Naruto, I don't even want to know how the flowers ended up in your room. Just tell us whatever you know about the girl that Sasuke likes."

"Um." Naruto scratched the nape of his neck. "Well, she's from another village. The Hidden Sand Village. And don't worry about her, 'cause she's gonna go away as soon as Sasuke's mission is over--"

"So she's involved in the same mission that Sasuke-kun is working on right now?" Ino curiously asked. "Why would Hidden Leaf and Hidden Sand work together? We weren't on friendly terms ever since they tried to invade us when we were little, right?"

"...it's top secret, so I don't know," Naruto said, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't know much about her; Sasuke doesn't talk much about her. I never even saw her. So... can I go and do my mission now? Please?"

"Does Sasuke-kun really like her? Are his feelings for her sincere?" Sakura finally asked, her voice soft and sad. Naruto gave her a small smile and shook his head.

"...no."

* * * * *

When Sasuke woke up, he had a splitting headache. He thought he had seen Naruto... or was it Narue? Sometime during the night, he was certain that someone had come to visit him. That someone had made him laugh and had shared their warmth with him. That someone was kind, gentle, full of energy... And with such pure blue eyes that it wrenched Sasuke's heart just to look into those eyes. Who?

The sun was slowly rising up to the sky. The past was mere past; the sun was new and shining. The blood-red sun dyed everything it illuminated into soft pink and purple, and Sasuke deeply inhaled in the cold morning air. The headache seemed to lessen. Sasuke massaged his temples and glanced at the window sill. Snow had piled up pretty deeply during the night. On the window sill was a little note. Sasuke carefully picked the paper up and unfolded the note.

"To Sasuke," Sasuke read out loud. His voice echoed in the empty room. "Please come to the restaurant where we had a meal together at Hidden Sand Village by tomorrow, 1 PM. From Narue."

Sasuke frowned at the note for few seconds. Then he sighed and folded the note back up.

"...she spelled the Chinese character for '_ashita_(tomorrow)' wrong."

* * * * *

Shiro being stupid

__

Hai, hai, Shiro nano desu! Baka desu! Odotte mi mashou~! ...now that _that's_ out of my system... 

I did write few GW fan fictions, but they will never see the light of a day. They're awful. X.x Yes, Sasuke indeed said '_warii_', and 'my bad' is a very NY way of saying 'sorry'. The key point in saying New Yorker's 'my bad' is to make sure you don't sound sorry at all. You will not find this fan fiction in its original glory anywhere except my notebook because... my keyboard can't type Japanese! *coughs* Yes, leaving a clone with Gaara was a bad idea in Naruto's part, since Gaara likes him... ^^;; (He's a teen with rampaging hormones, too, you know~!) 

...is it even possible to spell '_ashita_' wrong? ^^;; I noticed that Naruto always used only _katakana_ and _hiragana_ when writing. Well, I'm not overly fond of _kanji_, either, but... We both have horrible hand-writing, but I daresay Naruto's handwriting looks worse then mine. (That's possible?) I used to confuse 'now' and 'to meet' characters when I was little, too, so it's not that Naruto's stupid or anything. He's just... not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 

The first sentence of this chapter was in Japanese because... because... it sounds better. *coughs* Really, 'that child' sounds stupid in English. ^^;; And the boys keep saying 'like', not 'love', because it often is the highest of affections that one can express to another. Even when people are having sex, they would often say '_suki_(I like you)', not '_ai shiteru_(I love you)'. So love confession is almost always '_omae no koto ga suki da'_, not '_omae wo ai suru zo'_. ^^;; Same thing for the word I translated as 'lover'-- _koibito_. This should actually be translated as 'sweet-heart', since '_aijin_'(literally lover) usually means a relationship heavily empathizing sex, not love. 

That whole thing with Kakashi and Iruka was weird... Let your mind wander happily in the gutter as to why Kakashi's in Iruka's home, or let your innocent mind skip around in the flower fields free of homo-erotica thoughts. I will shut my mouth. ^^;; And Naruto did not give a good excuse as to why the flower was at his home because the author couldn't think up of a good excuse, either. *coughs*

...I love Taito to death. O.O I don't know why. I just... do. I always loved reading Taichi x Yamato fan fictions... Strangely enough, I do not have even one fan comic of Digimon. Which is weird, because I really love Digimon... and I have whole lot of fan comics, even of Slam Dunk!(which I have never watched in my life... Why do I waste my money like this everyday?). When I first heard Taichi's image songs, I was thinking, 'Whoa, _girly_... And to think, all this time I've been supporting him as the dominant one...' But then the evil songs grew on me. Before long, I was humming 'Yuuki wo Tsubasa ni Shite' and 'Atarashii Taiyou' while I was doing dishes and cleaning the house. Almost creepily addictive. 


	12. Dive Into Shine

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Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. Will I post this disclaimer with every chapter? Is there really a necessity to this useless taking up of space? But I'm scared of lawyers! *whimpers*_

* * * * *

The dream has already came to right in front of my eyes/ it already came that far

I can only remember the deep feelings now

In the maze that won't end/ the strength is realizing one's weakness

Into the wide sky that allows shiny wind to blow/ I will fly up

__

Dive into the shine, I will change the murky darkness into light/ I will believe in that moment

Right... The times that you just can not continue/ those times also exist, right?

You can't do anything? There is no such thing as 'can't'

'Good bye', the hesitation that I couldn't give up until yesterday

__

Dive into shine, until the night becomes the morning/ I will continue on with heart that will not be clouded

At the time that I change deep darkness into light as well/ I believe you, so...

I believe in you...

"Dive Into Shine", Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne 2nd OP Theme

* * * * *

Sasuke watched the ice floating on top of the water. It was fascinating. The ice cubes would catch the light to briefly sparkle, then bump into each other and dip into the water again. He shook the cup slightly. The ice cubes quivered and danced. A sudden shadow loomed over the ice cubes. They didn't sparkle anymore. Sasuke lifted his eyes to nod at Naruto.

"...did I make you wait?" Naruto asked, his voice unusually soft and quiet. Sasuke lifted his eyes to look at the other child. Naruto did not look sick, but his face had thinned and his eyes held such sadness to them that Sasuke felt his own eyes sadden in return. He shook his head 'no.' Naruto held out the scroll where he had written all the information he had gathered about the next ambush Hidden Sand was planning. Sasuke accepted the scroll before standing up to pull the chair out for Naruto. Naruto remembered this time that the chair was for him. He sat down.

"Would you like to eat something?" Sasuke asked. Naruto nodded. "What would you like to eat?"

"_Udon_(thick noodles)," Naruto automatically said. He paused. "...but if that's bad for my health, you can choose something else for me."

"No, your choice is fine," Sasuke said. He questioningly looked at Naruto. "...I understand that you are still angry with me, Narue. I can easily arrange someone else to be your partner for this mission--"

"That's okay." 

Sasuke looked surprised at the abruptness of Naruto's reply, but he did not choose to comment upon it. He placed their orders and glanced over the menu at Naruto again. Naruto didn't look angry or upset or... seem to have any obvious emotion. He just looked tired and defeated. Sasuke was worried, but he didn't trust himself enough to attempt to comfort Naruto. After all that he did, he did not need to cause any more damage than he had already done. Whenever he got close to Naruto, his emotions got better of him and he just ended up hurting him. Heavy silence descended upon them, and they finished their meal without saying anything to each other.

But when they were walking out of the restaurant, Naruto reached out and held Sasuke's hand. Surprised, Sasuke looked at Naruto. Their eyes met, and Naruto managed a small smile. Sasuke did not say anything. But his hold on Naruto's hand tightened.

* * * * *

Temari's eyes scanned the diagrams and route maps. She slowly shook her head.

"...this will not work. There is usually an _anbu_ squad positioned in an uninhabited place like this. I think you are underestimating the Hidden Leaf's defense system."

"The report is that they are only using _chuunin_ and _gennin_ to protect that particular area," Kankuro said, shaking his head in return. "...I think you are just looking for excuses to put this war off."

Temari was silent. She loved her hometown and her brothers. She felt resentment that Hidden Sand was forbidden from assembling an army after their defeat few years ago. How would they defend themselves? But she was also sick of blood and death. Was this the only way to make her beloved homeland stronger? Was the loss of all those innocent lives the only way to live up to their name, inherited from the honorable kazekage himself? She hated wars. As much as she was desensitized to much horrors of life early in her life, in her heart she was still a young girl. And she was a pacifist.

"It is true the patrols have grown heavier these last few weeks. We must approach with caution," Gaara's voice broke in. All eyes turned to the boy, brooding at the darkest corner in the room. Temari frowned. Since when was Gaara interested in their little 'war games'? But then again, he also had the blood of the kazekage flowing in his veins. "And remember the level of _chuunin_ and _gennin_ there. We must not underestimate their powers, either."

"Ever since that little Uchiha rat got away, tension has been high," a man heavily said. "We must give them a little time to relax, to reassure them that the boy was delusional and that there is no real harm. Then we attack."

Kankuro shook his head. "That might take months, years. We will proceed as planned. We will just be more cautious. And the next rat that gets caught--" He looked up to his little brother and smirked. "--you may kill him."

Gaara smiled, as if he was satisfied. Then he turned his face away so that shadows hid his face. He would even sell his soul to the devil himself if he could be of any help to Naruto. To see even the smallest of smile gracing that child's lips...

* * * * *

Naruto was nestled between Sasuke's legs, his back resting against Sasuke's chest. Sasuke's arms were loosely looped around Naruto's waist. Both boys were wordlessly looking at the lake. With light breeze, occasionally the snow resting on the leaves of the pine tree that Sasuke was leaning against would be shaken off. Since they were directly underneath the tree, the snow flakes did not hit them, but they obscured the view of the lake. The lake, only few meters away from their position, was partially frozen. The lake water lapped at the borderline between ice and water in a continuous, smooth motions.

"It looks like a Christmas card, doesn't it?" Naruto asked. His breath rose in thick white vapor before being assimilated into the atmosphere. Sasuke snorted.

"Except for the fact that our posteriors are freezing?"

"Yeah, except for that fact."

Both quietly chuckled, then resumed watching the lake. It was devoid of life, but the way the yet-unfrozen water pushed against the approaching ice seemed as if they were watching the last struggles of flame of light before death took over. It was a depressing sight.

"Sasuke, why do you like me?" Naruto suddenly asked. He was afraid to turn around, even though he wanted to see Sasuke's expression. He closed his eyes tightly instead. Short silence flew before Sasuke finally answered.

"Well. I don't know."

Naruto's face fell at the indefinite and apathetic words. Sasuke realized at Naruto's silence that his answer was wrong. But he couldn't help it; he himself did not know why he liked the other child.

"Narue is Narue, so I like her," Sasuke supplemented, trying to put his feelings into comprehensible words. "If you want specific reasons, I can not give any to you. I feel warm when you are with me. I want to protect you, to see your smile, to be with you. But I don't know why."

"Is it because of my face?" Naruto asked, his voice trembling despite his best efforts to steady his voice. Sasuke looked surprised. Even his voice conveyed his shock.

"No! What gave you such an idea?"

Naruto remained silent. He shuddered slightly, then resumed the conversation. His voice was low and raspy. "...I am not whom you think I am. You will grow to hate me when you realize who I really am, and leave me. Like everyone else..."

Sasuke was infuriated. How could anyone possibly hate Naruto? "Those people do not deserve to be with you in the first place! I promised you, didn't I?! That I'll always be with you!"

"I'm scared!" Naruto burst out. His shoulders shook. "I don't want to be hurt anymore... I don't want to be hated anymore!"

"I won't hate you," Sasuke softly said, his voice full of sincerity. He wrapped his arms around Naruto's shoulders tightly. "I can never hate you..."

Naruto turned his head to look up at Sasuke, his eyes full of confusion and pain. His eyes searched Sasuke's eyes, then a timid hand placed itself on his cheek. Sasuke layered his own hand over that fragile hand, and leaned forward to turn Naruto's body and to gently kiss him. Naruto almost automatically responded, his slender arms moving to wrap themselves tightly against Sasuke, as if they would never let him go. Sasuke ran his tongue against Naruto's lips, and Naruto's lips slowly opened to let Sasuke inside. Tongues caressed each other in slow, rhythmic movements until the two ran out of air. They broke away from each other, staring into each other's eyes.

"I won't hurt you," Sasuke said, his voice barely carrying over the soft sounds of water rushing against thin sheets of ice. "I won't ever hurt you, Narue."

Naruto gave Sasuke an agonized look. "I believe you."

Naruto buried his head into the warmth of Sasuke's chest, his eyes closing tightly in defeat. Sasuke warmly embraced him.

"I believe in you..."

* * * * *

All faces were grim. Shadows swallowed up most of the _shinobis_' features, leaving only parts of their faces and their eyes to be illuminated by the weak candle light.

"No other movements reported?" Tsunade asked, her voice grave. Kakashi looked over Naruto's mission report and shook his head.

"It is only talk for now. But they most definitely are planning on an action. It is just a matter of time before another war breaks out."

Iruka's eyes saddened. "And we tried so hard not to show more wars to our next generation..."

Tsunade's eyes softened slightly as she regarded the kind-hearted man, but they instantly hardened again as she faced the soldiers of the Hidden Leaf village.

"We'll be ready for them."

* * * * *

*ashamed* Yes, I read girl comics. In fact, I worship Tanemura Arina-sama. Even though her charas' eyes are creepily huge, her drawings are really beautiful, and her storylines are soooo good. I love the artist herself, too. She sounds so delicate, sensitive, and sweet... I would do anything to make her happy! _ But I thought the animated version was horrible, especially KKJeanne. The storyline was so butchered! How _dare _they substitute that... what's-her-name for Silk?! I loved how Silk loved Noin unconditionally, despite the fact that Noin wasn't interested in him that way! X_x

__

Sasuke no usotsuki~! X.x Sonna kantan ni yakusoku shinai de! I think I'll make Sasuke be even more hated. *sighs* I _like_ Sasuke, so why in the world is my fan fiction making him being hated...? Oh well, and on goes the charas being more OOC by the chapter... But then again, this whole story crashes pretty heavily with the original Naruto story, so I guess OOC is inevitable. I think the next chapter will be the happiest chapter before things get bloody and angsty and really, really nasty. ^^;; What with the war going on and stuff, things bound to be messy...

Forgive me for the fascination with ice. I really think H2O is fascinating. And there being piles of snow outside as I write this chapter did not really help matters. ^^;; 


	13. Days

__

Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

* * * * *

The days that shined because we saw our tomorrow in our dreams...

Just how many painful memories did we have?/ I wonder what kind of fun days we will treasure and live on from now on...

Whenever we gathered at nearby park/ we laughed loudly until late into the night/ always, always....

Because I'm so happy about the miracle that we are living in the same era right now/ Let's live on, surely laughing together next time we meet, too

It's been a long time since last time I opened my old album/ Maybe I got a little scrawnier/ Perhaps I look a bit more like an adult now

At that time, we walked around, showing off our tan/ and with you, I ran in sneakers/ whenever, whenever...

The days that sparkled because we dreamed of tomorrow, I still haven't forgotten even now/ I feel that everything about our meeting wasn't simply a coincidence

From now on, let's make lots of new memories together/ What kind of dreams will we talk about together from now on?

I'm so happy about the miracle of living in the same time with you, so...

The next time we meet, let's live on together... laughing happily for sure...

"Days", Hikaru no GO 4th Ending Theme

* * * * *

"Guess who?" 

Sasuke stared at the palms of someone's hand and waited few seconds, as if he was really attempting at a guess. Then he ruined Naruto's fun. "Narue, get your hands off of me."

Naruto lightly laughed as he pulled his hand away from Sasuke's eyes. He stood on his tiptoes to peck at Sasuke's cheek. "Good morning."

"'Morning. Did you sleep well?"

Naruto nodded as he pulled away from Sasuke. He craned his neck to look at the towering oak trees surrounding the Uchiha manor, then tilted his head to look at the house itself. It was a traditional Japanese house, rather big and simply but tastefully decorated. However, the silence and dust settled between corners of the walls showed that the house was pretty much inhabited. Despite the fact that it looked comfortable, it had an unapproachable aura, like a haunted house. Then this was the house that Sasuke had grown up in alone ever since his parents have deceased.

"Don't you get lonely here?" Naruto asked, turning to look at Sasuke. Sasuke shrugged and looked at his house as if this was his first time seeing it.

"You get used to it, I guess. Do you have a lot of siblings?"

"No, I'm an orphan," Naruto said, grinning. "Just like you. All alone in this world. But my house is no where as big as this. I think I'll go crazy just listening to the silence here. I live in an apartment, so it's always noisy there."

Sasuke was quiet. "...you know so much about me, yet I don't know anything about you."

"Who doesn't know about the Uchiha clan in this village?" Naruto asked, laughing lightly. "Don't worry about it. Anyway, you can start finding out from now on, right? We have all the time in the world to get to know about each other."

Corners of Sasuke's lips curled up in a semi-smile. "Right..." He started to walk into his house, beckoning to Naruto to follow him. "Come in; I'll make you some tea."

"Excuse me for intruding," Naruto replied as he took off his shoes to follow Sasuke into the house. The hallway was dark, despite the fact that it was morning. Numerous pathways branched out from the main hallway. Sasuke easily navigated through the labyrinth of hallways and stairs to lead Naruto to his room on the second floor. Even though Naruto had known Sasuke for a long time, they had never invited each other to their houses. Naruto was frankly surprised at the extremely austere room. He definitely did not expect Sasuke's room to be as messy as his, but... this room did not even feel like it had been lived. There was a small desk in one corner, and a blanket to sleep in on the other corner. Otherwise the room was empty.

"This is your bedroom?" Naruto asked, settling himself on top of the blanket. Sasuke nodded and sat next to Naruto. He questioningly looked at the other boy.

"Why? Is something the matter?"

"Um... no, it's not like that, but..." Naruto chewed on his bottom lip as his eyes searched the room again. A small window only allowed tiny rays of sunlight to enter the room, so the room looked even smaller than it was. There was a door that had to be the door to the closet. The wallpaper was white and the floor was smoothly polished wood. There really was nothing wrong with the room, but it felt like loneliness was etched into every corner of the room. Naruto felt like choking in this room. He couldn't understand how Sasuke managed to live here by himself all these years. "Never mind."

Sasuke nodded and stood up. "You can look around the room, but please don't break anything. I'll be back with tea and some tea cookies. Do you drink your tea with milk and sugar?"

Naruto nodded. Sasuke nodded in return and strode out of the room. Naruto sat still for few more seconds after Sasuke left, still in awe of the sheer emptiness of the room. Then he stood up and walked over to Sasuke's desk. Among thick books that Naruto could barely even read the title of, Naruto found a hard-covered black book without a title. Curious, he picked the book up and flipped the pages open.

What he saw almost made him smile. There were pictures of an extremely cute child with unruly black hair and dark blue eyes, who could only be Sasuke. As a child, Sasuke was always smiling at the photographer. His dark blue eyes were clear and innocent, full of childish happiness at living. In some pictures, another boy that looked just like Sasuke was with him. The other boy was older, and had cold and empty eyes. Naruto shuddered just at the hardness of the boy's eyes. This surely must be Itachi as a child. There were also pictures of a young man and woman. Sasuke's parents. All the pictures had description underneath in tidy handwriting, and Naruto assumed that Sasuke's mother wrote the notes. 

"Sasuke-san's first birthday," Naruto read out loud, his soft voice sounding hallow in the empty room. "Our precious baby with his first kunai. Itachi-san and Sasuke-san at the park. Sasuke..."

"Yes?" Sasuke answered, entering the room with the tea that he had promised. Naruto gulped as he hid the album behind his back, looking like a guilty child.

"Oh... Sorry for looking at your stuff without your permission, Sasuke..."

Sasuke shook his head and put the tray down. He gestured to Naruto to join him. The album still in his hands, Naruto walked over to Sasuke and sat next to him. Sasuke took the album from Naruto and flipped it open towards the back, where more current pictures were located. Naruto was surprised to find few of his own pictures.

"This is Team Seven, in which I belong to with a boy named Uzumaki Naruto and a girl named Haruno Sakura. Our mentor is this man over here, named Hatake Kakashi."

Naruto nodded. The captions underneath were no longer in neat, feminine handwriting. They were in Sasuke's concise, clean handwriting. He read a caption under a picture of himself grinning back at the camera.

"My friend Naruto, after finishing our fourth mission." Naruto was bewildered. "...he's your friend?"

Sasuke nodded. "The first friend I had, actually. We fight a lot, but we get along. I know I can count on him if needed. It is same with Sakura, but she doesn't have the bond that he and I have."

"Bond," Naruto repeated. He stared at picture of himself, then looked up to Sasuke. He brightly smiled. "I'm sure he thinks the same way."

Sasuke shrugged, but he was smiling in return. He poured out a cup of tea for Naruto and gestured to the milk and sugar bowl. "Help yourself."

"Thank you for the food," Naruto said, promptly digging into the food. He was the happiest boy in the world with his cookies and tea until Sasuke interrupted his happiness.

"I would like a picture of you."

Naruto started to choke on his cookie. Sasuke promptly started to pat his back as Naruto wheezed and coughed. Finally gaining his breath, Naruto nervously looked down at the cookie he held.

"Um. I don't have one."

Sasuke questioningly looked at Naruto. Naruto fidgeted under Sasuke's searching eyes. He really did not have any picture of himself, even in his male form. The only picture he had was of entire Team Seven that was on his bed stand. Obviously one can not take pictures of oneself, and no one bothered to take a picture of him. Naruto himself did not care if he had any pictures. He hated his reflection in the mirror enough. That reflection that always looked back at him, its eyes red from all the crying that it did...

"I don't have anyone to take a picture of me," Naruto explained, taking a large sip of the tea. It scalded his tongue, but he didn't care. "Well, I had a picture taken of me for the _gennin_ license, but... otherwise, I don't have any picture. So I don't even know how I looked as a baby."

"I'm sure you were a very beautiful baby," Sasuke said. He sipped his tea. "You can kind of guess when you see your own children. So you just have to wait until you become a mother, then you'll have a beautiful daughter that looks just like you, right?"

Naruto froze in his seat. He slowly lifted his head to look at Sasuke. His heart was tearing apart with pain. He felt like crying. "...Sasuke. I can never become a mother."

The tea cup broke with a loud crashing sound. Naruto stared, wide-eyed, while Sasuke frowned and started to clean the fragments of the cup away. Why wouldn't _Narue_ be unable to bear children? The only logical answer seemed to be that the other child had been raped or sexually abused when young, thus heavily damaging the uterus and rendering the reproductory organs useless. Sasuke felt his heart aching at the very thought. What kind of disgusting pervert would touch a child and forbid the child from ever having children?! His eyes turned fiery red at the very thought, and he did not even notice that he was squeezing his fist closed around a large pottery fragment until Naruto's voice broke him out of his musings.

"Sasuke... Sasuke! You're bleeding! What are you doing?!"

Sasuke's _sharingan_ faded to turn his eyes into their normal deep blue color. He looked at Naruto blankly before he shook his head. "...sorry."

"You idiot!" Naruto scolded, opening Sasuke's fist to remove the piece of broken cup. He ripped the sleeve of his dress to tightly wrap up Sasuke's bleeding hand. He held Sasuke's hand in his hands as he looked up at Sasuke and sadly smiled. "...are you angry that I can not give you children...? Well, you _are_ the last of the Uchiha clan, you do need children..."

"Screw children. There are plenty of reproducing people out there," Sasuke snapped. He placed his free hand on Naruto's cheek. "...the ability to give me lots of heirs was not what I was looking for in my soul mate... you had a crappy childhood, didn't you."

Naruto leaned into Sasuke's touch. "...can't say I had a good one. But you didn't have such a happy childhood, either, so I'm not complaining. Actually I'm a bit glad that I never knew my parents. If I loved them and lost them like you did... I'm sure I would be insane by now. Because I'm not strong like you are..." Sasuke opened his mouth to argue, but Naruto cut him off. "But I really am happy that I was born in this era to meet you. It feels like I was born, just to meet you."

Sasuke blushed. "I'm happy that I was able to meet you, too..." 

Sasuke pulled Naruto into his arms, tucking Naruto's head under his chin and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "But the past is the past. From now on, we can make lots and lots of happy memories together, so it's okay."

Naruto laughed as he hugged Sasuke back. "You're uncharacteristically being sappy. But don't worry, Sasuke-- From now on I'll love you so much that it'll be enough to fill up even your past loneliness."

"Don't say such cute things, Narue, because I just might eat you up," Sasuke playfully said. He pounced on Naruto, who shrieked with laughter in return.

"Uwaaa! Sasuke, cut that out! That tickles! Let go of me~!"

* * * * *

Sakura smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress, then inspected herself for the last time. Ino rolled her eyes. "Come on, Sakura, it's not like we're going on a date or anything. We'll just be visiting Sasuke-kun to give him these flowers and to wish him a fast recovery."

"I can't believe he was sick and we didn't even know it," Sakura ruefully said. "Sasuke-kun has a girlfriend now, though, doesn't he? Wouldn't he be upset if we intruded into his house like this?"

"We're friends! Friends are allowed to visit each other when they're sick!" Ino protested, placing her hands on her hips. "Stop being a sissy already and let's go in."

The main gate was already open. The girls silently walked through the quiet garden, then paused in front of the house.

"Excuse me," Ino softly said. There was no reply. She frowned. "Sasuke-kun might be seriously sick. It's really weird he didn't even go to the hospital when the rumors say that he almost died in this mission."

"You don't think he's disfigured or lost any limbs, do you?" Sakura nervously asked, her eyes already faltering at the thought. Ino shrugged and pulled off her shoes. "You're going in?!"

"He might need our help," Ino casually said, already stepping into the house. "Excuse me for intruding... Aren't you coming, Sakura?"

"Excuse me for intruding," Sakura echoed in reply, taking off her shoes. Their feet made barely any noise over the wooden floor. Being fans of Sasuke that they were, they already have been to Sasuke's home few times with various excuses, and knew where Sasuke's room was located at. But as soon as Ino reached the door to Sasuke's room, she stopped so suddenly that Sakura crashed into her. Sakura started to yell at Ino, but Ino put her finger against her lips and leaned forward to listen. Sakura tilted her head, curious, then followed her friend's suit.

She instantly wished that she hadn't.

"It... won't go in..." A strained female voice said. There were some rustling noises, then Sasuke's voice was heard.

"There. It's in. Wait, stop moving around...!"

"But... what are we going to do when it has to come out? Maybe we should have used some oil or something..."

"Who uses oil when they're doing this kind of thing? Ouch! Don't pull!"

"It's because you're too big!"

"What?! It's Narue's fault!"

Sakura backed away from the door, her face paling. She turned and ran as hard as she can. She felt tears running down her face. She really did not care. "Stupid Sasuke-kun," she choked out. "Pervert... I hate him! Ueee..." 

Ino glared at the door, as if she meant to burn a hole on it by glaring at it hard enough. Then she gave a disgusted snort and walked away from the door.

* * * * *

"How is it my fault?!" Naruto snapped, trying to yank the ring out of Sasuke's finger. "You're going to twist the ring out of shape!"

"Aw! Narue, don't pull my finger off along with that ring! Of course it's your fault! Who puts rings on someone's third finger?"

"I don't know! I don't wear rings! It's all because your fingers are too thick! You... you... big-handed person!"

After overhearing some girls squealing over presents that their boyfriend gave them, Sasuke had bought a silver cross necklace embedded with blue sapphires for Naruto. Despite the fact that the necklace was too girly for Naruto's tastes, Naruto was ecstatic with his first gift from Sasuke and had offered his mother's ring to Sasuke. The only inheritance he had from his parents, Naruto treasured the ring above anything else, and wanted to give his precious ring to his most important person. Naruto had always worn the ring around his neck by a small chain, but he had attempted to put the ring on Sasuke's finger.

It got stuck.

Naruto fell over backwards as the ring suddenly got loose. Sasuke winced as he waved his hand back and forth in the air, the skin of his middle finger raw from all the friction with the small golden band. "Give me that," Sasuke said, sighing. Naruto sheepishly dropped the ring on Sasuke's outstretched hand. Sasuke easily fitted the ring on his second finger, then smirked. "...how about using that thing between your ears once in a while?"

"What? You male bitch!" Naruto screeched back. The boys stared at each other before bursting into laughter. Sasuke held out his hands, and Naruto obediently settled on Sasuke's lap, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's shoulders.

"Thank you for the precious ring," Sasuke said. He kissed Naruto's cheek. Naruto blushed and nodded. "Stay over tonight? I won't do anything perverted."

"As if I'd believe you," Naruto said, laughing. "Besides, I'm still on a mission, remember? Oh, I almost forgot! Sasuke, you're the one who's supposed to be responsible!"

Naruto produced a mission report. Sasuke unrolled the scroll and glanced over at the report. "... sometimes, I almost feel sorry for Mentor Kakashi. Almost."

"Are you trying to imply something?" Naruto said, lightly smacking Sasuke's head. Sasuke shrugged. He stood up, pulling Naruto up with him. 

"You should go back to Hidden Sand before your clone runs out of _chakra_. Come, I'll walk you to the borderline between Hidden Leaf and Hidden Sand."

Naruto nodded and started to follow Sasuke out of the room. Sasuke suddenly turned around and kissed Naruto's lips.

"Don't get into trouble."

"Same goes for you," Naruto replied, grinning widely. "After all, we have to make those memories that we were talking about, right? It's kind of hard to make happy memories if one of us dies."

* * * * *

"Naruto, welcome back~!" Naruto happily said, jumping out of the bed to greet Naruto. Naruto chirped "I came back~!" before dissolving his clone. He turned to widely grin at Gaara.

"And look, here is my favorite demon-possessed friend!"

"...I am your only demon-possessed friend."

"...that too!"

Gaara sighed. Naruto snickered as turned back into his male self with an explosion of smoke and promptly started to change his clothing. Gaara stared at Naruto's neck. Every time Naruto returned from a meeting with Sasuke, he returned with Sasuke's scent all over him and his marks on his neck. In fact, Naruto now almost unbearably reeked of Sasuke's scent. Gaara felt the mattress ripping away under his grip and loosened his grip as he turned his eyes away. Naruto, being the observant person that he was, did not notice anything and plopped down next to Gaara on the bed.

"...na, Naruto." Gaara said. Naruto looked up at him, smiling.

"Yeah?"

"...I like you."

Naruto burst into laughter. "Gaara, don't joke around!"

"I am not joking."

Naruto's expression froze. Gaara turned his head to look at Naruto. "I like you."

Naruto stared at Gaara, at a loss for words. Gaara looked back at him with unreadable expression before he suddenly stood up. "Don't worry about it. I just wanted to tell you. Pack all your things and go back to Hidden Leaf. Hidden Sand will invade Hidden Leaf tomorrow, at 5 AM. The attack might actually be launched earlier or later, depending upon the weather and the condition of our soldiers, but it definitely will happen sometime tomorrow. Your mission's over, and we are enemies now."

"Gaara..."

"Get lost, Uzumaki."

Gaara breathed in sharply as he felt Naruto's arms encircling his waist. Naruto placed his cheek against Gaara's spine. Gaara could feel warm wetness through the clothing. Shit, he made him cry.

"...thank you for everything, Gaara. I'm sorry... I..."

"Get lost."

Gaara felt Naruto pulling away from him. The door opened and closed. Gaara turned his head and stared at the closed door. Then he slowly walked over to his bed and sunk onto the soft mattress.

He didn't cry.

* * * * * Oh... originally I was thinking of using another song for this chapter, but the chapter turned out so that I couldn't help but use "Days". I first came across "Get Over"(Hikaru no GO 1st OP Theme) when I was surfing the web for Gundam Wing mp3s. Yes, back then web pages actually had downloadable mp3 files... Anyway, I just gave it a try, and immediately fell in love with the song. At that time I vowed to myself that I would someday watch the series that had as wonderful song as this. Now... I have watched the entire series and read all the comic books available... The only thing remaining for me is fan comic... ^^;; I love Hikaru no GO songs so much~! Waya Yoshitaka-kun is my favorite, for some strange reason. I almost always like the major character, so I have no idea why I like Waya... ^^;;

The whole thing between Sasuke and Naruto didn't turn out as fluffy and as happy as I wanted. I can't do romance thing really well after all... ^^;; And that whole thing with Sakura and Ino was just plain weird! Argh. So much for melodrama... kind of... thing...

Is it just me or is the opening theme for episode 62 completely different? Nn... It seems that they added a lot of violin/viola sounds and synthesizers... and they got rid of the electronic guitar background to make some kind of percussion instrument the groundwork. So the BGM sounds a lot more mellow and harmonious... is what I thought, but my sister gave me a very blank look and said 'what the heck are you talking about? It sounds exactly the same.' ...so maybe it's just me... ^^;;


	14. Obsession

__

Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

Warning: If detailed descriptions of violence or war would upset you in any way, please avoid reading this chapter.

* * * * *

deep in the night/ far off the light/ missing my headache

visions of light/ sweeter delight/ kissin' my love-ache

how come I must know/ where obsession needs to go?

how come I must know/ where the passion hides its feelings?

how come I must know/ where obsession needs to go?

how come I must know/ the direction of re-living?

"Obsession", .hack/SIGN OP Theme

* * * * *

Naruto stared at his reflection in the mirror. Mirror reflection was a mere illusion. Narue was also a mere illusion. Naruto was Naruto. But who was Naruto? The person that was being loved by Gaara was Naruto. The person that was being loved by Sasuke was Narue. The one that Naruto loved was Sasuke. But Narue also loved Sasuke. Naruto was a demon fox. But he also was not the demon fox. The demon fox hated him. Naruto hated the demon fox in return. But they were treated as the same being. Identity crisis lead Naruto many lonely years that made him wish that he had died, good lord it hurt so much to be stared at, to be mocked at, to be ostracized, to be singled out, to be the object of disgust and ridicule, someone that no one in their right mind would ever want.

Naruto smiled at the reflection. Narue's face smiled back at him. Naruto gingerly reached out to touch her face. She was pretty, graceful, and loveable. She was a normal girl. She was everything that Naruto was not, that Naruto could never be. Naruto had promised her existence for Sasuke's sake. Will the fake happiness make Sasuke happy? Even if it's fake happiness, Naruto wanted it. Even if he was not loved in return, he wanted it. Did Gaara have same feelings towards him? Then how cruel he was. But he did not care if he was being cruel to Gaara. He did not care if Sasuke was being cruel to him. Because if he betrayed his emotions and was embraced by Gaara, to deceive them both just for cheap sympathy, then he would end up hating himself. And he already hated himself more then enough. 

Naruto flinched at the feel of cold surface of the mirror. Narue frowned at him in return, as if she was chiding him for trying to touch her. She was not real. He was real. But she was loved. He was not. The only real thing about Satou Narue was her eyes, because Naruto's eyes stayed with her when he transformed. Yes, the gaze of her eyes was eternal. The ultramarine blue that can only be seen in the deepest and the clearest of the seas. It was not the Prussian or the cobalt or even the cerulean blue, which had bits of purple or magenta mingled into its shade to make it lighter, to make it more desirable. No, Naruto's eyes had nothing false about them. They were blatantly blue. They were the purest of the blue color. They were simply and plainly blue. The primary color. That was it. Primary color. Nothing added. Naruto was Naruto. The child who carried the demon fox within himself. The child who loved Sasuke, and was loved by Gaara. If he can remain true to himself, he won't get lost. He won't hesitate.

Narue melted away to reveal Naruto's true self. The young boy with stupid grin constantly plastered on his face grinned back at Naruto. Naruto reached out to touch his reflection again, his touch sure and firm this time. 

"All right," he brightly said. "Let's go kick some ass, Uzumaki. Today's gonna be long and bloody disgusting. Do your best! Stand upon your own legs, and walk!"

Naruto's eyes narrowed until they became mere slits, then his lips curled up into a huge grin. He trust his fist into the mirror image, who duplicated his movements. "Then see you later!"

* * * * *

Sasuke craned his neck and looked around at the crowd of _chuunins_ gathered in front of the central building for exactly the fifty-second time. And that was not even counting the times that he just moved his eyes. Naruto would have rolled his eyes had he the energy to. As things stood, he was too nervous himself to make any smart-ass remarks. But apparently Sakura felt up to having a decent conversation before they went and butchered up anonymous Sand _shinobi-tachi_, who could be father or mother of fifteen kids for all they know. But what did they care? This was war. Faces and names did not matter anymore. Only thing that mattered was how many you could kill before you got killed yourself or lost couple of limbs. 

"...Sasuke-kun? What's wrong?"

"...I thought she was a _chuunin_, like we are," Sasuke impatiently said. "There is no way that she can be a _gennin_... Maybe she was a _jounin_. Sakura, do you know if there is any girl child of our age in the Satou clan? Orphan, with blonde hair."

Sakura gave an incredulous look to Sasuke. "Don't be silly, Sasuke-kun. The Satou clan only have boys our age. All girls are either above twenty or below eight."

"...well, you're mistaken. How can I protect her like I promised if I can't even find her?" Sasuke groaned. Sakura suddenly realized who this 'girl' that Sasuke was agonizing over must be. She suddenly did not feel like carrying on with the conversation. She looked away. Sasuke stared down at the ring on his finger. Naruto couldn't help the little smile that rose on his face as he watched the tender expression that came to Sasuke's face. His hand unconsciously reached to touch the necklace hidden underneath his black scarf. For this mission, everyone in the same level wore the same uniforms. _Chuunin-tachi _like themselves were given traditional black ninja uniform, made out of silk to enable agility and silence in motions. 

Sudden rush of wind accompanied Kakashi's transportation technique. Kakashi wordlessly regarded Team Seven. The only team that he had passed. He had been scared of passing his students. Passing the students meant they became higher-leveled soldiers. Which meant it was more likely that they would die. He had already lost so many of precious people to him. Must he watch helplessly as his own students died? But the potential in Team Seven forced the man to acknowledge their strength and to not only pass them as _gennin_, but also to help them reach the level of _chuunin_. And the day that he had feared had come. They were being sent out to a war.

"...don't go and die on me now," Kakashi dryly said. He grinned under his mask as Sasuke snorted in return and Sakura gave him a small smile. And Naruto gave his usual unnecessarily energetic answer, thrusting his fist into the air.

"Hell no, we're gonna go and kick some Sand-nin ass! I'm tellin' ya, by the time we're finished with them, they'll be hollerin' for their mommies!"

His optimism was more then enough to lift up the general spirit of the _chuunin_ team. Neji rolled his eyes in irritation, Hinata held back her giggles, Ino smirked good-naturedly, Shikamaru said something about 'that idiot being troublesome', Ten Ten actually giggled, Lee proudly said 'that's our Naruto-san', Kiba broadly smiled, Chouji grinned, and Shino remained expressionless. Sakura smiled at her teammate and Sasuke ruffled up Naruto's hair affectionately.

"Damn you, don't get all high and mighty now. I'm not going to come save you when you get your ass whipped."

"Hey, that was my line!" Naruto protested. Before the boys started a war of verbal insults, Kakashi pulled the boys apart by scruff of their neck.

"You don't want your last memories of your comrade to be a fist-fight with him. Come now, save your energy for the battle. Everyone have their weapons ready? _Kunai_, _shuriken_, needles, everything? Good." He stared at the faces of the young ones. No matter what they might think of themselves, they were still children. They shouldn't have to get involved in a war like this. Hell, most of them haven't even lost their baby fat yet. He suddenly smacked Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto lightly on their head, then forced himself to smile. "I'll buy you something good when this is over with."

Kakashi gave an 'oof' sound as Naruto tightly hugged him around his waist. "...you don't go dyin' on us, either, you weirdo."

Kakashi did not reply. He merely patted Naruto's head before he pulled away.

"Stay immobile until orders are given. Follow the route that has been assigned to you. Don't separate from your team. Immediately contact the _anbu_ members in case of injury. Do not move injured personals. Use suicide only as the last resort."

With explosion of smoke, Kakashi disappeared to join his fellow _jounin_ group. Naruto turned to face his fellow _chuunin_ group number three members-- all _chuunin_ eighteen years old or younger. He looked at their faces and wondered how many he will be able to remember ten years from now if they died. 

Probably all of them.

* * * * *

He was always beautiful when he fought. 

Temari watched with something akin to awe as she watched her brother fight. His movements were calculated, deliberate, to not even waste a single step in accomplishing his goal. His slender fingers effortlessly dug into flesh of another human being, cutting their life short. His sand poured out in every direction, embracing their target before dismantling them of all human form and shape to reduce them to pile of flesh and blood. His steps were elegant, light. It almost looked like he was dancing. Yes, he was dancing, a dance of death and blood and fear. His red hair danced in the wind like a living flame, his pale, ivory skin stained with dark crimson blood, and his emerald-colored eyes narrowed and glistened. Gaara was a demon, a beautiful, beautiful demon. 

Karasu danced across the forest, randomly killing people, while Temari herself used her fan to gracefully decapitate individuals she did not know. What did identity matter in a war? It was only a matter of life and death. It was a do or die situation. They could not afford to be children, to have a heart, to appreciate life. Their hands were too steeped in blood and sin for such an easy life. 

It took exactly thirty minutes. That time was all that the three siblings needed to wipe out five lives and to reduce them into bits and pieces of human. Gaara was covered in blood. Not a single drop belonged to his own body.

* * * * *

Sakura flinched as her foot stepped on a dried leaf and made a small cracking noise. She unconsciously moved closer to Naruto. Naruto startled as Sakura bumped into him and immediately pulled out his _kunai_, but realized that it was his own teammate. His fingers found her hand, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

"It's going to be okay," Naruto softly said. Sakura nodded, her eyes tearing up. Naruto realized a long time ago that his feelings for Sakura have been mere crush that faded over time, but that did not stop him from having affections for her. She was a little sister and also an older sister figure to him. Even though she tended to be loud and obnoxious at times, he was the same, so he had nothing to complain. He knew that she was a kind child at heart. "Relax, Sakura-chan. We're going to live. We're all going to live."

"Don't make promises that you can not keep," Sasuke softly chided, his feet all but gliding over the forest floor. Both Naruto and Sakura's face fell at his words, and Sasuke gave himself a mental kick. Discouragement was the last thing they needed right now. "...but I will try my best so that we can drain Kakashi of the contents of his wallet."

"That's the spirit," Naruto whispered back, grinning. "The sun is going to rise soon. Let's keep to the shadows of the trees."

"Too bad it's winter. The snow gives away footprints, even though it muffles sounds," Sakura softly said. "It also impedes movements. Try to take as large steps as possible at one time; it will help to conserve energy... Kyaaa!!!"

Sakura abruptly screamed as needles flew straight towards them. Naruto immediately released his hold on Sakura's hand as he pulled out his _shuriken_. Sasuke cursed. Sakura had given away their location. His eyes scanned the forest, attempting to find the location in which the needles have come from. He crouched his body flat against the ground, then kicked off from his position to dash to the location where he thought the needle had come from.

"_Kage bunshin no jutsu_!" Naruto bellowed, dodging the hectic movements of the needles. Naruto multiplied into ten beings, who immediately split to different directions. Naruto felt the _chakra_ of one of his clones vanish immediately, and headed off to the direction. There stood a tall young man, obviously a sand-nin, and from his clothing, probably a _jounin_. He held a large, thin sword in his hands. He gave a twisted grin to Naruto.

"...not bad shadow clones for such a little brat as yourself." 

With that he lunged at Naruto. Naruto swiftly dodged the slice of the sword and brought up his leg to kick the man's chin, but the man easily evaded his attack. Naruto swept his free feet on the ground and used the momentum to deliver a powerful kick to the man's stomach. At almost exact moment, the sword pushed through Naruto's shoulder blade. The two immediately backed off, the man frowning as he placed his hand on where Naruto had kicked him and Naruto grasping his shoulder. Naruto felt blood freely flowing from the wound that the sword had just inflicted, and bit his lips in pain. He just hoped to his ancestors the blade was not poisoned. But shit, poisoned or not, he'll have to tie up this wound to make it stop bleeding if he didn't want to die.

Naruto's eyes widened as the man suddenly abandoned him in favor of attacking Sakura. "Sakura-chan!" he screamed, turning around and chasing after the man to stop him. Sakura wordlessly brought out her _kunai_ to counter the man with, planting her legs firmly to the ground as her mind worked out the best battle strategy in her situation.

Sasuke was not doing so well himself. He had located the woman who had been throwing needles, but as soon as he lunged himself upon her, she turned into a piece of log. Illusionary technique. Sasuke's eyes scanned the dark forest before he hunted down the next likely candidate, but the form of a woman also turned into a log at his touch. Cursing, Sasuke was considering the use of _sharingan_ at the risk of losing control himself when he sensed a _chakra_ stronger then those fake copies had emitted. He melted into the shadows, watching and not acting, waiting for the enemy to reveal herself.

When he finally located the original _jutsu-shi_, she was aiming long needles straight into Naruto's turned back, who was so concentrated upon trying to attack the other _shinobi _that he did not even sense that he was being targeted.

"That dimwit," Sasuke cursed as he leapt up from his hiding spot and ran towards Naruto. He barely had enough time to envelope Naruto into his arms before the needles pierced through his back. Sasuke gasped with pain, his eyes widening with shock at the burning sensation. 

"Sasuke!!!" Naruto screamed in disbelief. He clutched at Sasuke's cloth as he felt Sasuke's blood dripping on his body, his body pierced with numerous needles like a porcupine. Sasuke's blood-red eyes stared into his blue-colored eyes before they slowly started to close, his lips curling into a crooked smirk.

Hey, deja vu...

Before Naruto had time to think, the female Sand-nin was attacking the still form of Sasuke, aiming a long needle into his trachea to finish off what she had started. Naruto's mind snapped. All strands of logic disappeared. An inhuman snarl escaped his lips. Pulling out a _shuriken_, he threw the weapon as hard as he could towards the woman's heart, aiming to kill, he would die if he could not kill her, god let him kill this horrible creature that had taken Sasuke away from him. Naruto's eyes turned into bright red, not color of blood like Sasuke's _sharingan_ but pure red, yes, another primary color. A cadmium medium red. Burning red, the color of fire.

The _shuriken_ connected noiselessly, piercing through the woman's heart and going through her spine to lodge solidly against the pine tree behind her. Her fingers touched Naruto's hair. Her blood sprayed across his cheeks. Then she slowly fell down, as if this was a bad horror film in slow-motion. Naruto saw everything. Her expression of surprise, her expression of pain, disbelief, fear. Then everything was gone. Her lifeless body fell to the ground and blood gushed out from the wound that the _shuriken_ left. A satisfied smirk played across Naruto's lips before he realized the full extent of what he had just done.

He had killed a fellow human being with his own two hands.

Sakura, managing to paralyze the male sand-nin with one of her poisoned needles, triumphly turned to look at Naruto. Naruto was staring at the corpse of a woman mutely, horrified expression on his face. He raised his head to look up at Sakura. He slowly rose to his feet, backing away from Sakura.

"...Naruto?" Sakura asked softly. Naruto flinched at her voice. He suddenly flung Sasuke across his back and started to run. "Naruto?!"

Naruto ran and ran and ran. He ignored the cries of Sakura after himself. He had to get away from everyone, everything. He was a murderer. He had killed. He had to get away from Sakura before tainting her, before being hated by her. It was a while before Naruto asked himself why the f*** he was carrying Sasuke with him. Naruto slowly kneeled down to the ground, cradling the still body of Sasuke in his arms. Then he screamed, his hallow voice echoing, all alone in this world with Sasuke's body in his arms. He screamed, now a sinner, a murderer, a killing machine, a true demon. He screamed until he was hoarse.

No one came to help him.

* * * * *

Ugh. *shudders* Messy, messy. It took me forever to write this. I hate wars, being a pacifist that I am. As you can see, I am not showing you the work of a _shinobi _through rose-colored view. _Shinobi-tachi _were soldiers, not just people running around randomly throwing pointy stuff around and having good ol' time. War is disgusting, vile, and dehumanizing. But us humans continue to repeat our own history. I want to skip this whole war thing, but Naruto is a _ninja_. Someday he will have to kill a human being with his own two hands... and I want to work out how that will help Naruto to become more mature, to grow up into an adult. ...uh, but I promise, as one reviewer had said, that 'after the war things will get all better'. ^^;;

A painting associated with this chapter would be "The Scream" by Edward Munch, an expressionist painting. You can scream and scream, but no one would come to help you. I think that is the ultimate fear that a human being can face. I, for one, know that I would never want to experience something like that. But because of this experience, I think Naruto will become that much stronger. He will be able to face his fears, stand upon his own two legs, and walk on.

The song for this chapter was chosen more for the music then the lyric, strangely enough. I was actually thinking of a completely different song for this entire chapter, but once I finished it, I can just hear "Obsession" in my mind as I reread the chapter. So... yes. Neither doujinshi nor fan fictions ever, ever turn out the way I want them to. They just sort of draw/write themselves. Evil creatures. I swear they're conspiring against me.

I was thinking of writing all the gory details of intestines pouring out of bodies and stuff, but decided against it. So I'll try to keep this in PG-13 rating. No detailed description of body parts flying off. I don't want to give myself and my readers nightmares. X.O

On a lighter note! The color descriptions come from the acrylic paints that I use. If you are not sure what colors I was babbling about were, just think that blue is blue and red is red. Forget about that whole ultramarine and cadmium medium red stuff. ^^;; My favorite paints are watercolors, but acrylic and oil paints are so much fun~ They're just a bit too expensive. X.x

What Sakura and Ino overheard sounds much more provocative in Japanese. It just screams 'sex! sex!' ^^;; "Hairu zo" "Kimi ga dekkai da kara yo!" "Jitto shiro yo..." 


	15. Ai, Just on My love

__

Disclaimer: The anime/manga series Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

* * * * *

Ai(love), _just on my love_, with these hands I want to protect you

Is he kinder then me?/ And is he stronger than me?

The cold moonlit night, shining upon my heart/ My feelings are reflected in the shadows

Ai, _just on my love_, with my hands I wish to protect you

Anywhere's _OK_/ _Kiss_ is _OK_/ Love, dreams, and I are all OK

You and _dream_ are mingled every night/ I want to see the future from now on no matter what

Ai, _just on my love_/ my heart that is broken lies there/ and there is also love that amends it

But surely, love destroys my greed/ and the guy who sheds tears at the end is me

I want you... You know that, right?/ Just what do I have to do for you to get that?

The dark night is suspicious, hiding you/ This night, starting from where should I have you?

Ai, _just on my love_, with these hands, I only wish to protect you...

"Ai, Just on My Love", Sorcerous Stabber Orphan OP Theme

* * * * *

Naruto was pulling the needles out of Sasuke's body, one by one. He wasn't sure why he was doing it. It just gave him something to do. He didn't feel like thinking. He couldn't think. His mind was full of images of the woman that he had killed. Naruto shuddered, then cradled Sasuke's head in his lap as he pulled out the last needle. Sasuke reeked of blood. Naruto touched Sasuke's pale face, then slowly pressed his head against Sasuke's chest, almost afraid to find out whether Sasuke was alive or dead.

A weak heartbeat resounded against his eardrums.

Naruto could have cried with relief. But he didn't. No one came to help him even if he cried and screamed. The only one that could help him was himself. Naruto slung Sasuke's still form over his shoulder and started to walk. He had to find an anbu member. He had to save Sasuke. But his resolution rapidly broke down as endless forest stretched out on either side of him, and constant fear of being discovered by a sand-nin haunted him. His legs hurt. His back ached. He felt blood being drenched out of his body through the wound he had gotten earlier. It was then that Naruto noticed a small cabin, almost concealed between thickly foliaged pine trees. Heaving a sigh of relief, Naruto wearily made his way towards the house.

The first thing that hit Naruto was the heavy scent of blood. Naruto's eyes followed a small trail of blood until he found bits and pieces of human, piled against a tree not even a meter away from the cabin. Naruto froze in his place, staring mutely at the lumps of flesh. He then turned his head to the side and emptied the contents of his stomach. Apparently the inhabitants of the cabin have been visited by the sand village soldiers.

The cabin, most luckily, had a bed and running water, even though it did not have electricity. After carefully laying Sasuke's body on the bed, Naruto was doing his best to patch him up, but he simply did not have the knowledge nor the skills to help Sasuke much. Who ever said that anbu members would be easy to find? Bullshit. And worse, Naruto suspected that poison had been applied to the needles.

Naruto used half of his scarf as a make-shift bandage for Sasuke's wounds, but his bleeding didn't stop. Sasuke's breathing started to become labored, and he started to burn with fever. Naruto used the remainder of his scarf to wipe off the perspiration and blood on Sasuke's face, but Sasuke only become worse as time ticked on. Three hours have passed since Naruto had separated from Sakura. Sasuke started to emit incoherent sounds, his face crumpling with pain. Naruto placed his scarf on Sasuke's forehead and leaned down to kiss Sasuke's cheek.

"Don't die until I come back, Sasuke. I promise I'll save you," Naruto throatily whispered. "Please don't die..."

Naruto gazed longingly at Sasuke before running out of the cabin, into the dark forest.

* * * * *

"You really seem grumpy lately," Shikamaru commented. Chouji grunted in agreement as he reached into his bag to dig out a bag of potato chips. Ino slapped at his hand to stop him from achieving his goal.

"Chouji, stop it. The crunching noise will give our location away. And no, it's just your imagination, Shikamaru," Ino said, scowling. Shikamaru sighed and looked up to the sky. Chouji, sensing what was coming, gave him a warning look, but it was too late.

"How troublesome. A PMS-ing teammate..."

He was cut short by Ino stomping on his feet. Shikamaru cursed under his breath softly as Ino walked ahead of him. Chouji gave him an I-told-you-so look, and Shikamaru gave him an irritated look in return.

Ino suddenly stopped, gesturing her teammates to be quiet as well. Few minutes of silence passed before the faint rustling of leaves was heard again. The team immediately lowered their body and got into a battle stance, their backs touching each other's back to have as much of their surroundings in view as possible. Their eyes hardened with fear and anticipation. An arrow sliced through the air with a humming sound before burying itself into the ground, not even five centimeters away from where Shikamaru was standing. Shikamaru did not even flinch. His eyes searched the source of the sound, as did his teammates.

Another arrow sang its away towards their direction. Shikamaru felt triumphant, for he sensed flash of human skin between the leaves before the arrow was released. But to his horror, he realized that the arrow was heading straight towards Ino, who had her back turned to their attacker. Shikamaru wordlessly stretched his hand out, holding it in front of Ino's back.

The arrow hit his hand, and Shikamaru grind his teeth to prevent any sound from escaping his lips. At Chouji's gasp, Ino craned her neck to look at Shikamaru. Her eyes widened and she opened her lips, but Shikamaru furiously shook his head as his brows knit in concentration. Blood furiously dripped from his wound, but he paid it no mind.

There was a sudden movement among the tree leaves, then Shikamaru pointed to a place among the thick leaves. "The attacker won't be able to move now. I leave the rest up to you, Chouji, Ino."

His teammates nodded and leapt to the top of the tree in question, where a Hidden Sand soldier sat among the branches, made immobile by Shikamaru's shadow trap. It only took some rope and smacks to tie up the Sand-nin until he resembled a silk moth cocoon. Shikamaru sighed in relief as he called back his shadow, releasing his _chakra_ hold upon the enemy soldier. 

Ino suddenly took hold of Shikamaru's hand. Chouji continued to pay attention to the Hidden Sand soldier, poking at their poor captive's body with a tree branch. "Why in the world didn't you just push me out of the way or something?! What if the arrow was poisoned? Just what were you thinking, Shikamaru?!"

"...I'll tell you if you tell me what's been bugging you," Shikamaru quietly said. Ino stared at Shikamaru's bleeding hand, then sighed. "...who _won't_ be upset if they overheard their crush having sex with someone else?"

Chouji grunted and poked the Sand-nin hard, earning himself few colorful languages from the man. "...you mean, Uchiha...?"

Ino didn't reply. Shikamaru took hold of her shoulders, forcing her to look up at him. "...that's no reason to be depressed. How about opening your eyes and looking around yourself once in a while? He's not the only guy alive, you know."

"How would _you_ know about liking someone when that someone doesn't know that you exist?!" Ino snapped, slapping Shikamaru's hands away. "You can never understand my feelings!"

"I like you," Shikamaru calmly stated. "So I can understand your feelings just fine."

Ino backed away from him, frowning, then sniffed as she started to walk ahead. "What do I care about whether you understand or not, anyway?"

She turned her head slightly to look back at Shikamaru. She was smiling. "...but after this is over, I just might go out with you if you ask."

Chouji hooted while Shikamaru stammered out a "wa, wait!" before the boys followed Ino, dragging their suffering captive behind them.

* * * * *

'He's here,' Naruto told himself. 'He's really nearby...'

Naruto felt his blood boiling with excitement. It was always like this when he was near _him_. It was a primitive desire, a yearning. A need for dominating over a powerful force, to draw out blood, to kill-- the demon instinct. Naruto felt the blade of a _shuriken_, pressed against his throat.

"What do you want?"

"Gaara," Naruto said, his voice full of relief. "Look, you have to help me, Sasu..."

"Have you forgotten that we are supposed to be enemies now?" Gaara dryly asked, removing the small star-shaped knife from Naruto's throat. Naruto shrugged.

"...well, Gaara is... Gaara."

"What an incredibly easy way to live. To live without thinking," Gaara groaned. He noticed the blood on Naruto's cheeks and started to wipe the blood off with his shirt sleeve. The blood trail lead to the wound on Naruto's shoulder. Most of it had healed, thanks to the healing powers of the nine tailed fox, but Gaara took out his handkerchief and started to wrap up Naruto's wound anyway. "...you really do live without worrying at all." Naruto grinned, but his expression crumpled as he clutched Gaara's sleeve.

"I didn't know what to do... and the only person I can find this quickly is you. I have no idea where the anbu guys are. Gaara, Sasuke's dying..." Naruto's eyes filled with pain at the mere thought. "He was trying to protect me, and got needles stuck all over him. I pulled the needles out, but I think they were poisoned. His blood is not clotting again and he has a fever and he's unconscious; I don't know what to do! Gaara, please help me, I..."

"Take a breath," Gaara cut in. "You need to take a breath."

Naruto stopped and pleadingly looked up at Gaara. Gaara turned his head away. He frankly did not see why he should help in keeping Sasuke alive.

"...I see no reason why I must help your comrade. I don't feel particular loyalty to Hidden Sand, but I have even less sympathy for Hidden Leaf. I have helped you in your mission because you are an acquaintance of mine and you needed the help, but what happens to Uchiha is none of my concern."

"Gaara..." Naruto trailed off, frustrated tears welling up in his eyes. Even as they spoke, Sasuke was slowly dying. "Please... I know that you know the cure. I'll do anything. Please save Sasuke...?"

Strange glint came to Gaara's eyes. He turned his head to look directly into Naruto's eyes. "Anything?" He repeated. "Do you know the full extent of those words?"

Naruto looked back at Gaara, confusion evident in his eyes. When he didn't reply, Gaara turned his head away again. "It is a snake poison, commonly applied to the needle tips in our village. During first twenty-four hours, the victim will suffer from paralysis, high fever, vomit, loss of blood, and in heavy doses, loss of consciousness. The twelve hours after that, the person will completely lose control over him/herself. The victim will become violent, lustful, and generally dangerous. Animal-like, if you will. And then they die." Naruto's face paled. "Slow, painful death. The most cruel death that can be inflicted upon a human being, and the herb used to make the antidote is rare."

"Then, then Sasuke..." Naruto forced out, trembling. Gaara nodded.

"Will die. I have the antidote, but only a small amount. It is valuable. I want something in return."

"I'll give you as much money as you want! I'll give you all the money I earn for the rest of my life!" Naruto cried, desperation clinging to his voice. Gaara's reply was cold.

"...what use do I have of money...? No, Uzumaki. Not money, but you. I want to have you for the night."

Naruto stared at Gaara with a strange expression, not quite comprehending what was being asked of him. Gaara, still refusing to meet Naruto's eyes, continued. "It isn't so bad. Virginity isn't something very important to us males, and... we can easily do such act even if our hearts are not in it." Gaara's eyes met Naruto's eyes again. His voice was pained, full of self-loathing and loneliness. "Please... If you can not love me, then at least let me have your body. Even if it is an empty shell, I... I still..."

Naruto backed away from Gaara. He lowered his head, then gave him a quick nod.

* * * * *

Naruto wordlessly stood in a corner of the room-- apparently Gaara and his siblings had killed off the earlier owners of this house-- and looked at everywhere except the bed, where Gaara was sitting. Few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed, then Gaara abruptly broke it. It had the same effect as breaking a pane of glass: loud, annoying, and even a shade ominous. 

"...come here."

Naruto startled, as if he had been burned by the words. His frightened eyes met Gaara's pleading eyes, and he hurriedly turned his head away. He hesitantly walked towards Gaara, then stopped and glared at his feet. It was not that he was angry with his feet in any way. Naruto actually felt very numb. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel. He felt dread, yes, and perhaps even anxiety. But he wasn't angry. It was strange.

Gaara stood up and strode over to Naruto. He stood in front of Naruto, neither saying anything nor moving in fear of scaring him. Naruto timidly took hold of Gaara's shirt sleeve. Gaara's hand overlapped his fist, and he leaned forward to lightly touch Naruto's lips with his own in a chaste kiss. Naruto did not respond, but he did not jerk away, either. Gaara leaned forward and kissed him again, this time with a little more force. Gaara's arms wrapped around Naruto's waist, and he passionately kissed Naruto, even though his partner did not give him much response.

Gaara took hold of Naruto's wrist and walked towards the bed. Naruto obediently followed, his head lowered. Gaara placed his hand on Naruto's shoulders and pushed him down until Naruto sat on the bed, wordlessly looking up at Gaara. Gaara kissed him again, and pressed down upon Naruto's body until Naruto was lying on the bed, sandwiched between Gaara's body and the mattress. Gaara moved his lips to kiss Naruto's earlobe, his teeth lightly grazing against the soft flesh. Naruto shivered, his arms unknowingly wrapping themselves around Gaara's shoulders. Gaara's hands pushed up the black silk material of Naruto's shirt, and his head lowered to kiss Naruto's jaw line. Naruto turned his head away as he felt Gaara's hand touching his body. He felt dirty. Tears escaped his eyes.

Gaara noticed the tears. He sat up and wiped them away with the back of his hand. He smiled slightly, his eyes saddened. When he spoke, his voice was bitter. "...do you like a jerk like him that much...?"

Naruto closed his eyes and slowly nodded. He cringed as he felt Gaara's body move, but it was only to get off of him. A small parcel was thrown on his face.

"...two doses, every three hours, for a day. Go to him."

Naruto sat up and looked at Gaara. Gaara looked back at him, then turned around and left. Naruto picked the parcel up and hugged it against his body, his head lowered. He lifted his head up, wiped his tears off, and ran out of the room to go back to Sasuke.

Gaara watched Naruto's disappearing form until the boy disappeared from the view.

* * * * *

"Sasuke! I got the medicine!" Naruto happily cried. He all but skipped over to the bed, broadly grinning. "Look, Sasuke, the medicine..."

Naruto's voice faltered and died when he noticed Sasuke's deathly pale face. There was not even a sound of breathing. Naruto hesitantly stepped towards Sasuke, clutching the parcel of herbal medicine against his chest as a dread took hold of his heart.

"Sasuke... Answer me...?"

Only silence greeted him.

"Sa... su... ke...? Sasuke..."

The parcel fell from Naruto's hand, to land softly on the floor.

* * * * *

This chapter is so very Gaara. Gaara is Gaara. And Gaara's theme song is really the Orphan OP theme. ^^;; Actually I had no idea just how appropriate this song was for Gaara until I listened to the song again and paid attention to the lyric. It's been quite a while since last time I watched Sorcerous Stabber Orphan, so... ^^;; I don't think most people would know about it, but I really like this series! The comic book version, as usual, is much better then the animation. The animation's too depressing. ^^;;

The biggest reason that this chapter took long time to write was that I couldn't write it on the subways. I mean, even if it's in Japanese, it's still kind of.... weird... to write 'he kissed him' kind of material when people are all around you. ^^;; And since the 7 train has so many Asian people riding it, I really couldn't write this chapter anywhere except at home. And I was rarely at home, studying and taking finals and what not all day... ^^;; 


	16. Shining Collection

Disclaimer_: The anime/manga series _Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

Warning_: If non-consensual or homosexual sex is offensive to you in any way, please avoid reading this chapter. I am old enough to read and write mature contents. If you are not, then please wait until you are older. I do not wish to hear from your Mommy about your innocent little mind being traumatized. Because frankly, I don't care._

* * * * *

On a bed of glass, motions are stopped/ Then become rushed with a sudden movement

Collection of feathers done with solid day's tail/ Even though it is faint, I wish for innocent night

Lying within the freedom and lies that are soaked in the mood of depression/ the fragile puzzle pieces just keeps breaking away from this road

__

Kiss shining, when I kiss your pupils, even flower petals gets in our way

__

Make me shining, within the most vibrant of colors, you're shining within the vision

The _dimension of panorama _that surpasses the view/ Perfect imitation is simply trembling

The _cheap_ touches are mere reaction that looks for the secrets/ I want to see you, even if that is forbidden

The ocean of pleasures that swallows up the seven colors/ The _game_ that is embedded in shadows, driven from this world

__

Kiss shining, while in loneliness/ The space drenched with regrets would be cut away

__

Make me shining, fragments of a broken heart/ Change it into hope that shines

The sky is full, I touch the tears of butterflies with my red-colored fingertips

Then everything would become sand... _Shining, make you cry_...

"Shining Collection", Gravitation CD track

* * * * *

"Sasuke!!!" Naruto choked out, rushing to the side of the bed to take hold of Sasuke's hand. His frantically fingers searched Sasuke's pulse, and Naruto panicked when he failed to locate any. Sasuke's body was also cold-- almost too cold for a living human body. "Damn it, asshole, what the hell did I say about staying alive?! Sasuke!!! You can't die on me!!!"

Naruto all but clawed on Sasuke's shirt to pull it apart, resting his ear against Sasuke's chest. He strained his ears until he finally caught the faint beating of Sasuke's heart. Naruto bolted from his spot next to the bed and retrieved the antidote that he had chucked to the floor when he wrongly assumed that Sasuke was dead. He ripped the outer packaging off to reveal several individually wrapped packages of medication. Naruto almost ripped a package in half in his hurry to get to its contents. The medication turned out to be very fine white powder. Naruto hurriedly placed the powder in his mouth.

And he almost spat it right back out. It was incredibly bitter and revolting, as far as the taste department was concerned. Grimacing, Naruto splintered back to Sasuke to press his mouth against Sasuke's, his tongue pushing into Sasuke's mouth to transfer the medication to him. There was no response what so ever, and Naruto furiously forced the antidote down Sasuke's throat, his hands clutching at Sasuke's shirt collar. He was going to make Sasuke live. Satisfied that most, if not all, of the antidote had gone down Sasuke's throat, Naruto pulled away from him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned over Sasuke, intently watching him, praying for even the slightest of movements.

Nothing. Naruto was on the verge of crying. Gaara had said that it took at least a day and a half for the victim to die, didn't he? Surely it couldn't have been two days already since Sasuke was poisoned. As far as he could tell, not even the initial twenty-four hours had passed. But this was Sasuke's second time being poisoned. Maybe his immune system failed to fight against the poison a second time. Maybe the antidote came too late. Maybe he really would lose Sasuke...

Naruto shrieked as a pair of hands suddenly took hold of his shoulders and pulled him down. His startled eyes met blood-colored eyes. There was something strange about those eyes, but Naruto was too relieved to notice.

"Sa, Sasuke! You're alive! Thank goodness!" Naruto cried, relieved, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's body in a hug. "You asshole, don't scare me like that! I almost had a heart-attack!"

Sasuke did not reply. The corners of his lips curled up into a sneer, and his red eyes narrowed. He slowly sat up, mutely staring at Naruto. The night had fallen. In the darkness, Sasuke's eyes glowed an eerie red. His hair had all but melted into the darkness, and most of his boyish features were also hidden by the shadows. But the maniac eyes and cold smirk on his lips burned themselves into Naruto's eyes. Naruto suddenly felt uncomfortable. There was something really, really wrong with Sasuke's eyes. They held a predatory glint to them. All of Naruto's instincts were on alert, as if some danger was looming over him. He suddenly wanted to run away.

"...Sasuke? What's wrong-- Nnnn...!!!" Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke's lips crushed his. He had been kissed by Sasuke many times, but something was horribly wrong with this act. First of all, there was nothing loving or gentle about this kiss. Usually Sasuke's kisses were sweet, almost considerate. But now Sasuke's lips ravaged his lips, consumed them, and it was desperately possessive. The kiss strangely reminded Naruto of Gaara's kisses. And the other thing that was bothering Naruto was that he was in his male form. Sasuke would never kiss him in his right mind if he was a boy, not a girl! The last time Sasuke kissed him as a male was...

Then it struck Naruto like a family-sized bag of rice. Sasuke was drugged, like the last time that he had kissed him. And not only few needles like last time, either. This time he had been pierced by needles until he had resembled a pin cushion, which probably meant he had tons of poison running rampant in his veins. And what did Gaara say about being violent and lustful?

Naruto tried to push Sasuke away, fear creeping into the corner of his mind. "Shit, Sasuke, get off of me! Look, buddy, you're sick and confused, and we really shouldn't be doing--" Naruto's breath hitched in his throat. Sasuke had moved from his lips to his neck, where his teeth lightly grazed against the sensitive flesh of his throat. Then Sasuke bit him, and Naruto yelped in pain as Sasuke greedily lapped up the blood. "F***! Sasuke, that freaking hurts! What are you, a dog?! Don't bite me! Get off! Let go! Uwaaa..."

Sasuke suddenly flipped their bodies so that Naruto was trapped underneath his body. Naruto grimaced. He didn't need to be in this position twice in one day. He futilely struggled against Sasuke's heavier body as Sasuke started to pull up his shirt.

"Uchiha Sasuke, let go of me this instant before I kick your ass! Stop that--" Naruto couldn't help the shudder that ran across his body as Sasuke succeeded in pulling his shirt off, only to toss the article of clothing to heaven knows where. He felt his face burning with shame as Sasuke scrutinized his bare torso, his hands firmly holding down Naruto's wrists at either side of his body. Naruto turned his head to the side. He couldn't bear to see the disgusted expression on Sasuke's face that will surely be there because of his flat male chest. "...see? I ain't a girl. Now get off. Please?"

"...adorable."

Naruto blinked as Sasuke leaned down to kiss the middle of his chest. Sasuke repeated himself, nuzzling against the soft flesh. "You're so cute, Naruto."

"Na, Naruto?" Naruto repeated his own name, doubting his hearing senses. Naruto dared to look up at Sasuke's face. There was an intense look of desire in his eyes that warmed Naruto's heart, even though it also scared him. Even though he was convinced that it was all drug and that Sasuke was confused, just the thought that Sasuke might want him-- the real him-- made Naruto light-headed with sudden flood of happiness. His hands shyly placed themselves on Sasuke's cheeks, and Naruto hopefully looked up at Sasuke. "Am I really cute?"

Sasuke nodded and kissed Naruto again. Blushing, Naruto accepted Sasuke's kiss, even though it was brutal and bruising. As Sasuke's tongue forced its way into his mouth, the only thought that filled Naruto's mind was that Sasuke found his real self attractive. He was wanted...

* * * * *

The night was time for all predators to roam free, to prey upon the weaker creatures using the shadows as their advantage. Hatake Kakashi always found the night more comforting then the morning. The sun exposed too much. The night allowed him to hide himself. And Kakashi liked to hide. Being a capricious and shadowy person that he was, he did not like things that can only be interpreted in one way. Shadows and indistinct shapes were more attractive to him.

Iruka, meanwhile, had a trouble keeping up with Kakashi's wide strides. He was by no means a short man, but Kakashi seemed to be floating above the ground. His movements were stealthy, quiet. Like a cat stalking her prey before pouncing upon it to cut its life off. Iruka was still bitter about him being matched up with Kakashi because they ran out of chuunin team to put him into, and Kakashi happened to be as good as two--possibly three-- chuunin. Tsunade had paired him up with a jounin without so much as asking him. Iruka hated feeling inferior, even to Kakashi. But Iruka had swallowed his pride. After all, he was but a mere soldier, serving to protect the Hidden Leaf Village. What did his pride matter when their village was in a peril?

Iruka was interrupted from his thoughts when Kakashi suddenly stopped walking. Iruka bumped into his back and was starting to protest when Kakashi places his index finger against his lips, indicating him to be silent. Iruka obliged and craned his neck to see what had caught Kakashi's attention. 

Nearby was a team of Sand Village chuunin. They were talking amongst themselves, their voices low and hushed. Kakashi gestured with his hands, and Iruka's eyes widened. Surely Kakashi was not planning on ambushing them? There were five people on their team. Even if Kakashi was a jounin, it was impossible for him to fight with five soldiers. Besides, Iruka himself was still only chuunin. Wondering if Kakashi was out to get his throat cut, Iruka frowned and shook his head. Kakashi leaned down until his lips brushed against Iruka's ear.

"We're in a war; we mustn't be afraid for our lives."

"But we must also stay alive," Iruka argued. "I am not trying to avoid death for my own sake, but this is outrageous! We do not have a chance of surviving, and you know it. Suicide is not an encouraged act."

"They're in this war," Kakashi whispered back. His eyes suddenly softened, and Iruka shut his mouth. "I want to end this war as quickly as possible. If I do not attack them, they might attack my students. Your students. Our children, Iruka. I do not care if I lose my life; I just want to protect the ones who are important to me with my own hands."

"And you just have to drag me into it, too, right?" Iruka grudgingly asked. But he was pulling his weapons out. Kakashi broadly grinned. The two looked at each other, then Kakashi suddenly dashed forward. Iruka shortly followed. The men's eyes were no longer soft as they pulled their weapons out.

Sudden killing aura surrounded the air, and the alarmed Sand Village soldiers leapt up from their seat. But before they even had a chance to pull their weapons out, a kunai was buried into a man's chest. The man kneeled over and started to throw up blood, his face contorting with pain. Kakashi' eyes held nothing but the intent to kill as he swiftly cut the man's head off, ending his misery. The cut was too deep for the man to survive through anyway. The head rolled off to the side as Kakashi moved to his next victim. The remaining enemy soldiers were ready for him this time. Kakashi dodged various weaponries thrown at him and flipped his body in mid-air to narrowly miss cutting another man's throat, then maneuvered his legs to kick the man's stomach. He missed.

Iruka, meanwhile, was dodging the kicks and punches thrown at him. He lowered his body to sweep the ground with one kick, kicking the enemy's legs out from under her. She gasped as she fell, but twisted her body to balance herself upright again. She thrust her shuriken at Iruka's throat, and at the same time felt a shuriken press against her throat. The two stared at each other.

"Why don't you surrender? I will be happy to spare your life, ma'am," Iruka politely said. The lady spat out a 'f*** you' before she flicked her wrist to bury the shuriken in Iruka. Iruka lowered his body to avoid the knife and brought up his arm to bury his elbow in the woman's stomach. Her eyes widened in pain before she slumped over, knocked unconscious. Iruka muttered a word of apology before he placed several poisoned needles on her nerve cells to immobilize her for few hours. He felt the aura of another person and quickly lowered his body, but the knife grazed against his cheek before striking the tree in front of him. Iruka turned his head, pressing his hand against his bleeding cheek. Two Sand-nin leapt for his throat, and Iruka groaned as he pulled out more needles from the pouch attached to his leg. He was about to throw the needles at the two when he felt his body freezing. Iruka gasped as he stood immobile from a shadow-trap, much like Shikamaru's. The female ninja had a satisfied smirk plastered on face, while her comrade moved to attack Iruka. Iruka couldn't help the pained scream from escaping his lips as the man buried a sword in his stomach, impaling his body to pin him against the tree behind him. 

Kakashi turned to look at Iruka when his opponent's whip cut through his shoulder blade. Kakashi turned back to look at his opponent, who had a smirk on his face. Kakashi pressed his hand against his bleeding shoulder, wordlessly glaring at his enemy.

"Oi, oi, your opponent is all-mighty me, punk."

"I don't have time to deal with you," Kakashi coldly said, his eyes suddenly so dangerous that the man froze with fear. Kakashi pushed up his head-protector, revealing his sharigan. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to die." 

Kakashi's hand suddenly pressed against his opponent's face before he bashed his enemy's head against a tree. Sickening sound of cracking skull resounded in the forest. Kakashi didn't even bother to wipe the blood off of his hand before he rushed to Iruka, who was grinding his teeth in pain as the sword cut through his stomach again and again. The two Sand soldiers stopped torturing Iruka as Kakashi stepped between them and his comrade. Kakashi lifted his head to leisurely look at his opponents.

"...you two will rue the day you _dared_ to touch what is rightfully mine." 

"Empty boast," the woman scoffed. "Even if you are at higher level then we are, you must protect your comrade while fighting the two of us. It is your loss."

"We'll see about that," Kakashi snarled in reply as he picked up the limp form of Iruka and slung his arm over his shoulders. His blood-colored eye, the sharingan only given to those of advanced bloodline, glinted dangerously. Kakashi started to run towards the lake.

"Running, coward?" The male soldier mocked, running after him. Kakashi rolled his eyes and did not waste his energy replying. It was but a short time before he reached the lake. He lifted his feet and crushed the surface ice of the lake, splashing the water everywhere. Kakashi turned to face his opponents. Seeing that Kakashi had no where else to run away, the man gave out a triumph cry as he lunged at Kakashi. Kakashi concentrated his chakra around his feet until the water underneath him suddenly evaporated into a thick white fog.

"I can still see you!" The man croaked. Kakashi pulled out his kunai and slit his wrist. Thick stream of blood dripped from his wound before being absorbed in the rush of chakra flow, also mingling with the fog. The fog suddenly became the color of blood, making Kakashi and Iruka inside all but invisible. The man stared at the fog, confused, before needles punctured his nerves, paralyzing him. 

"Blood, unfortunately for you, is not transparent." Kakashi softly said. The woman backed away, trembling at the willingness to kill in Kakashi's eyes. As she turned and fled, Kakashi's needles hit her nerves, too, and she slumped over on the ground. Finally giving out a breath of relief, Kakashi loosened his chakra hold on the water vapors and gingerly lowered Iruka's body. 

"Iruka. Iruka?"

"I need to see an anbu member," Iruka moaned. "And so do you."

"If you still have the energy to talk, then you're fine," Kakashi said, snickering. Iruka gave him a mock-glare, then sighed and turned his head.

"Let go of me. You smell like death."

"Are you afraid of death?" Kakashi asked, not loosening his hold on Iruka. Iruka nodded. Kakashi pressed his blood-stained hand against Iruka's cheek. "Then I want to stain you with my scent of death. I want to corrupt you. Like a person is always tempted to step upon freshly fallen snow..."

"Go ahead and try," Iruka softly said, his eyes narrowing. "I am not as pure as you think I am. And... did you not say something about me being rightfully yours...? Then do as you please..."

"Was that an invitation?" Kakashi asked. Iruka shrugged his shoulders as he lifted his body up slightly to press his lips against Kakashi's. Kakashi grinned. "I take that as a 'yes'."

* * * * *

Naruto sleepily stirred awake. He lifted his eyes to look at Sasuke, who was contently sleeping next to him. Memories of last night came back, and Naruto blushed furiously. He traced the developing muscles in Sasuke's chest with his finger, making a 'no' characters in Sasuke's pearly white skin continuously. 

'I wonder why Sasuke likes doing those things,' Naruto wondered, sighing slightly. 'It hurt, and it was embarrassing, and it felt really bad... Well, the last part felt really good, but I still don't like it much... But if Sasuke wants to do it, it can't be helped. After all, he said I'm his now...'

Naruto happily smiled at that. He belonged to someone now. He wasn't alone anymore. Naruto started to leap out of the bed, but fell back again, cursing with every obscenity he knew of. As soon as he moved, sharp pains shot up his spine again. He was still bleeding, and the bleeding worsened when he moved and tore his skin. Naruto gave a resenting glance to Sasuke, then slowly crawled out of the bed and gingerly pulled his clothes on. He wondered how he was going to survive in this war if his ass kept hurting like this. He felt like throwing the pillow at Sasuke's face. But he refrained and retrieved the packages of medicine to force down another packet down Sasuke's throat. Sasuke frowned and struggled slightly against the bitter taste, which relieved Naruto. It meant Sasuke was much better now.

"I'm going to look for anbu guys, just in case, Sasuke," Naruto softly said, leaning down to kiss Sasuke's cheek. "I'll try to be back as soon as possible, okay? Then see you."

Sasuke continued to sleep. Naruto smiled slightly at his angelic sleeping face before he limped out of the room, grimacing with every step at the pain.

* * * * *

"Uzumaki Naruto?" 

Naruto yelped and would have jumped had it not been impossible for his body to handle at the moment. An obviously Hidden Leaf Anbu member peered at his face. Naruto suddenly shrieked and pointed at him.

"And when I was looking for you, you were like, no where to be found!"

"...did you think about returning to the Hidden Leaf central?" The man dryly asked. Naruto blinked few times before sheepishly laughing.

"Well, that would have been a good place to look for you guys..."

"Yes, indeed. I have a mission for you."

"...haa? What the hey? We're in the middle of the war!"

"Precisely. The fifth wants you to spy upon the Hidden Sand central. The war is going into a stalemate. At this rate, countless people will die. Since you are the only one who can spy upon the enemy territory, we desperately need you to find their weakness. We also need to know if they have any hidden plans. You have the right to refuse if you deem it too dangerous."

Naruto hesitated, then shook his head. "I'll do anything to protect my home and my friends... But I have a favor to ask of you."

"Yes?"

"My comrade was hurt. He is located at an abandoned cabin about 10 km north from here. He probably needs blood transfusion, and there is antidote for poison in his bloodstream in the drawer next to the bed. Please help him."

"Understood. He will be at the central if you wish to see him again."

Naruto smiled weakly.

"Thanks."

The man disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared. Naruto knew that using a jutsu at his weak condition was like trying to commit suicide. But he had people he must protect. A puff of smoke later, Narue was standing in Naruto's place. Naruto had a determined expression upon his face. "I will end this war."

* * * * *

Whoa. The longest chapter thus far. This chapter is the sex-free version for the ff.net. The original version can be read at the yahoo group. Please don't read that version unless you can handle it. ^^;; This chapter is most definitely not the last chapter~! I was talking about my test at school, not this fan fiction! ^^;; I'm finished with my tests, so I'll try to finish off this fic as well. I want to work on "Ano Toki no Boku-ra wa" on 2004. ^_^

New picture is up at the yahoo group. It's a picture of Sasuke and Naruto in their ninja uniform. I know I said 'uniform', but their cloth looks completely different. ^^;; I was playing around with photoshop, and I think the end result was... weird. 

"Shining Collection"... really does sound like the singer is on crack. *laughs* Very fitting song for this chapter. I love Koritani Kinya, who sings almost all of Gravitation songs. His voice is really awesome! And since Gravitation is anime/manga about a singer, it is fitting that it has absolutely lovely soundtracks and singer. Speaking of Gravitation-- yes, I have watched/read Gravitation, Yami no Matsuei, FAKE, Zetsu-ai, Bronze, and probably almost all yaoi/shounen-ai anime you guys name. Even obscure ones like Level C and Koori Mimano no Monogatari. ^^;;

This is as nonconsensual as I go. I abhor rape, so I will never write about rape, unless it's one of those 'I say no but actually I want this' kind of thing. Nn, but I'll probably get into trouble for writing this chapter anyway, right? ^^;; And both Sasuke and I will probably be hated because of next chapter. Ukyuu. I don't want to be hated, but it's necessary for the story~!(This fan fiction is supposed to be 'angst' after all!) Sorry, Naruto, I really like you~ If I don't like you, I won't write a fan fiction about you, right? Right? And I ended up doing KakaIru thing, which I told myself I'll never do... X.x Oh well.

Aa, but Sasuke, you're being loved more then I thought you were! Readers were angry that I was toying with your life! ^^;; And Gaara, as usual, is being swamped with love. I was yelled at so much for even implying that Sasuke died; I shudder to imagine what would've happened if I actually killed him off. A lot of readers said that this is one of few SasuNaru fics they ever read, or first fic they enjoyed so much, or first fic they reviewed so much for. ^.^ Well, you guys should be proud to know this is the longest fan work I've ever done in my life. Initially I was planning on making this fic 10 chapter-ish, but somehow it seems it'll end up as 20 chapter-ish, thanks to everyone's kind encouragements. The end is near~ Please stay with me till the end! I'll do my best until the end!


	17. eX Dream

Disclaimer_: The anime/manga series _Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

* * * * *

To this world where the end is approaching/ things like dreams and hopes don't matter any more

You, who are sleeping within my heart, will not open your eyes, but/ feel the tomorrow that can not be changed with your hands

__

Burning for your life/ even if you cling on to this life, it'll burn out someday (_for the perfect dream_) 

__

Drowning in my dream/ Even if I remember, a dream is only a dream

__

You are... star light

To this world that is overflowing with light/ your soul fades away

The angel that wishes for delivery of love/ will soon open his eyes

It will change the future that is heading towards destruction

__

Burning for my life/ this life that will someday get thrown away can not return to me _(for the eX dream)_

Drowning in your dream/ even if I remember it, where is the continuation for this dream?

__

I am... moon light

Even if destruction occurs, I won't do such thing as running away

I won't hesitate; this feeling can not be stopped

My friends rush me/ I will become the road to the tomorrow

__

I am... star light!

"eX Dream", X 1999 Opening Theme

* * * * *

A boy with long black hair was staring into the far distance, his eyes not focusing on any specific entity. He tensed when he felt a presence approaching him, but he relaxed when he identified the smaller boy.

"Itachi-big brother!"

Sasuke had a childish smile on his face as he held up a small and blunt _kunai_.

"Look, look, my first _kunai_! And if I get better at throwing it, father is going to let me have a _shuriken_, too!"

"What a big boy you are," Itachi softly said. His lips did not smile, but his eyes did. Sasuke blushed at the compliment, looking down at the ground.

"If... if I get the _shuriken_, will you practice with me?"

Itachi shortly nodded. "That is fine with me."

Sasuke held up his head to look at his brother's kind face, a wide smile spreading across his lips. "Thank you, big brother!"

Itachi merely nodded in acknowledgement.

* * * * *

Sasuke's fist connected with a boy's jaw, sending the latter flying across the playground. Sasuke trembled with rage, his hands gathered up into fists. 

"Don't you ever say bad things about my brother again!" Sasuke screamed at the little boy, who was scrambling away from his angry friend. "He's not creepy, nor is he a freak! He's the best older brother ever!"

Itachi was definitely behaving strangely as of late, but Sasuke did not want to acknowledge it. He wanted to ignore the cold, hard look in his brother's eyes. Itachi barely talked to Sasuke now, and his lips often curled into empty smiles that did not reach his eyes. Sasuke felt chill running down his spine every time he met his brother's eyes, but he still wanted to believe in his brother. He loved his brother too much to think that his brother was not the person that he thought that he was. He didn't want to get hurt.

* * * * *

As soon as Sasuke came back home from the playground, he knew that something was wrong. Scent of blood and death filled the air so thickly that Sasuke felt as if he was choking. His immediate reaction was to step back from the house. His instincts told him to flee.

"...yaa. If it isn't Sasuke," a soft voice drawled out. Sasuke turned his terrified eyes to the speaker. Itachi, drenched with blood, stepped out from the shadows. Sasuke immediately cringed and backed away at the scent of death. Itachi's eyes were completely devoid of emotions, and the expression on his face was cruel. His eyes were the same color as the blood that tainted his snow-colored skin. Sasuke felt his body trembling. He had never been so terrified in his life. "Welcome back, little one."

"What happened?" Sasuke throatily whispered. Itachi shrugged.

"I killed our parents."

"You got to be joking," Sasuke choked out. Itachi's expression reassured him that this was anything but a joke. "Wha... why?!"

"_Sharingan_," Itachi patiently started. "is not passed to others by bloodline. It is gained when the blood of the current head of the Uchiha family is touched by another. See... I have the _sharingan_ now. I have touched father's blood."

"That... for that, you have killed our parents?" Sasuke stammered out. Itachi shook his head and looked down at his blood-soaked hands. 

"_Sharingan_ is given to a heir deemed worthy by the head of the family. Strangely enough, ones with _sharingan_ are often infertile. We are orphans, Sasuke, whom our parents have adopted as infants. Our parents have chosen two children that most resembled them in physical appearance and have trained us relentlessly since our adoption, hoping that we will be good heirs. If I fail, you will be the back-up. But we were both too strong; too power-hungry. Our parents became afraid of our potentiality. They were discussing about how they should kill us two and get another child, Sasuke. They wanted a puppet that the Uchiha bloodline can easily control."

Itachi looked at Sasuke, smiling maniacally. "We were nothing but tools to them. But I have killed them, and have proven my strength. I am strong enough to kill everyone! Every single one of those cursed Uchiha humans, Sasuke!"

"You are f***ing insane," Sasuke choked out. Despite his words, tears were running down his face. Everything he had known in his life was a lie, then. His loving parents, his kind brother, his happy childhood-- the very thought that he was a loved child-- everything in his life was a mere illusion. 

"But even so..." Sasuke lowered his head and sobbed his words out. "Even if my happiness was a fake happiness, I wanted to believe in those lies. I wanted to be happy... wanted to be loved... wanted to believe in you..."

Itachi took hold of Sasuke's chin, forcing the younger child to look up at him. "Only weaklings believe in someone else, for they will only end up getting hurt. You are so annoying, Sasuke. I would kill you right here and now, except you're not even worth it. So..." Itachi smeared Sasuke's father's blood on Sasuke's cheeks, sneering at his trembling brother. "I'll give you a little gift. Hate me in return and become strong with this _sharingan_. Be strong enough for me to have a desire to kill you..." 

Sasuke started to pull away from Itachi, trembling with fear. Itachi flung Sasuke's little body down, then gave him the last look of disgust before walking away. Sasuke coughed violently, then lowered his head and cried until his tears ran dry.

Then he buried his parents' corpse.

* * * * *

"Then tomorrow it is," Kankuro softly said. "We unleash Gaara's demon tomorrow."

"But we do not know what will happen to Gaara," Temari pleaded. She glanced at Gaara. Gaara was staring at the corner of the room, his arms crossed over his chest. For someone who could be consumed by the demon and be killed tomorrow, Gaara was surprisingly apathetic to his fate. He had not opened his mouth since the discussion began. "Please, is this really the only way? And think of all the people who will be killed! This is no longer a war; it is a massacre! The demon is uncontrollable; it can and will destroy everything!"

"That does not matter," Kankuro snarled back. "I will do anything to make our village be acknowledged by everyone! I would even sell my soul for that purpose! Gaara, do you also have weak things to say?"

"...do whatever that pleases you," Gaara replied after a short silence. "I do not care either way."

"But Gaara!" Temari cried, frustrated. "This may be irreversible! As in, you can die!"

"Not of any importance," Gaara dryly said. Temari gave him a look of disbelief before storming out of the meeting hall. And bumped right into Naruto.

"...what the hell are _you_ doing here, Sasaki?" Temari asked, her eyes holding a dangerous glint. This was perhaps one of the most crucial moments in Naruto's life that he needed to come up with a good excuse. For once in his life, Naruto needed to think quickly and efficiently. So Naruto opened his mouth and asked the most logical question he could have asked in such a situation.

"...who's Sasaki?"

Naruto's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered that that was supposed to be his name. Temari's eyes held absolute murder. Naruto gulped and turned to flee.

"Sasaki, wait!"

'Are you kidding?' Naruto gloomily thought. 'I'm not that eager to die.'

"Sasaki!" Temari called out again. Naruto continued to half-limp and half-run without sparing Temari a glance.

"Damn it, Uzumaki Naruto, hold on for a moment!"

That got Naruto's attention all right.

"How-- how did you--?" Naruto stammered out, turning around to gawk at Temari. Temari shrugged.

"From the way Gaara's looking at you, it was obvious. Not to mention that you're obviously not a real girl; you sucked at pretending to be one. That aside, I have a proposal."

"...yes?" Naruto asked, shocked that his brilliant disguise was so easily discovered. Temari broodingly looked at Naruto. She strangely reminded Naruto of Gaara.

"...join our side, and I will spare your life. My brother can never be happy without you. Join us, and stay by my brother's side."

"I refuse," Naruto quietly said. "Both Gaara and I know that the one I love is not him. It will be a cruel thing to do."

"You fool. You have no idea how much Gaara loves you," Temari snapped, her voice pained. Naruto sadly smiled.

"...yes, I have no idea."

"Then I will force you to be by his side-- even if I have to make you into a corpse to do so!" Temari said, leaping into the air. She aimed at Naruto's throat with her deadly fan to cut his head off. Naruto dodged, but the sharp pain immediately shooting up his spine at the sudden movement knocked him off balance. Temari used the opening, swinging her fan again. The tip of the fan brushed against Naruto's stomach, and the air pressure built from the power behind the stroke cut through Naruto's cloth. Naruto's eyes widened as blood started to drip out from the cut.

'Shit, and I only grazed against it,' Naruto thought, panicking. 'I'm really going to die at this rate!'

Naruto hated to run from a fight, but he had absolutely no desire to die. He threw down a smoke bomb and used the momentary confusion to escape. Temari looked startled at the sudden distraction and started to go after Naruto, only to stop herself. Gaara will be sad if she actually did kill Naruto. 

Naruto succeeded in escaping, but he was not in a good shape. Naruto slowly and painfully limped along, clutching the side of his stomach to prevent the blood from escaping too rapidly.

"Gaara," Naruto whispered. He couldn't believe that his own village would use him in such a way. He had to tell the hokage, even though he just wanted to fall down and sleep. He had to prevent such a plan from being carried out. He had to save Gaara.

* * * * *

Sakura wearily made her way to the central of the Hidden Leaf. After separating from Naruto and Sasuke, Sakura had been left by herself in the dark forest. Luckily she did not encounter any Hidden Sand soldiers, but the psychological stress that she faced was more than enough to fatigue her body as well as her mind. The constant worry of her comrades' fate also weighed her down. It was a living hell trying to get out of the dark, unfamiliar forest by herself with all the stress.

"Then the message is from Satou Narue, right?" A man's voice asked. Sakura froze at the familiar name. A pretty girl with shoulder-length blonde hair nodded her head.

"Please hand the hokage that scroll. It is urgent."

"I will make sure to give it to her as soon as she comes back."

"Thank you," Naruto said, smiling in relief. He turned around to head back home with the thought of dressing his wound in mind, only to get his face punched. Naruto went flying off to land on his posterior. He bit back the scream that crawled up his throat. Tears immediately sprang to his eyes as he felt his muscles being torn again. He raised his head to look at his attacker.

"So _you_ are Satou Narue," Sakura snarled. Naruto did not reply. She gave him a look of utter contempt. "Tell me why you are still at the central. And you call yourself a Hidden Leaf soldier?! Do you know how desperately Sasuke-kun had been looking for you?! For all you know, he could be dead while you're hiding at the central like a coward!"

Naruto did not reply. He gingerly stood up again and gasped as Sakura shoved him against the wall behind him. He felt warm blood dripping down his legs. His shirt slipped from his neck, and Sakura mutely stared at Naruto's neck in horror. Naruto had Sasuke's marks on him. The marks were still fresh from last night.

"You... slut," Sakura spat out, her voice trembling in rage. "Do you... do you know how sincere Sasuke-kun's feelings are for you?! And still you... while Sasuke-kun is still out there fighting... revolting..."

Naruto turned his head to the side and remained silent. Sakura banged his shoulders against the wall again, and Naruto felt his posterior hitting the wall. White dots flashed before his eyes. The pain was unbearable.

"Answer me, you bitch! Open your traps and say something!!" Sakura screamed.

"Stop it!" Naruto cried, pushing Sakura away from him. Sakura hit the wall behind her and fell over with a dull thud. Naruto panicked and leaned over her despite his pains, checking for her pulse. When he was reassured that Sakura was all right, he started to wobble back to the central building. He had to get help for Sakura, and he needed medical attention as well.

* * * * *

Before Naruto found an anbu member, he came across a room labeled as 'Uchiha'. He couldn't help but poke his head into the room. Sasuke was reading a novel, his back plopped against the pillow. He was still more pale than usual, but otherwise he looked fine. He lifted his eyes when he felt Naruto's presence. The sweet smile that spread across his face when he noticed Naruto was enough to melt Naruto's heart.

"Narue," Sasuke warmly said, placing his book down. "Please come in."

Naruto nodded and walked up to Sasuke. Sasuke frowned when he noticed that Naruto was limping.

"...did something happen?"

"No, no, I'm all right," Naruto reassured him, weakly smiling. "How about you?"

"I'm doing fine," Sasuke softly said. He noticed blood slipping through Naruto's hand clutched over his stomach and worriedly pulled Naruto's hand away. "Are you hurt here? Let me see..."

"No, I'm really fine," Naruto started, but shrieked as Sasuke suddenly grabbed his shirt and threw him down to the bed. Sasuke's face was deathly pale.

"Sasuke, what are you doing?! Please stop it! Sasuke!" Naruto cried, struggling desperately. Sasuke wordlessly ripped more of his cloth off around the stomach area, then stared at his stomach. Naruto cringed as Sasuke looked at the seal of the nine-tailed demon fox. "Sasuke..."

Naruto's words hitched in his throat as he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. The room echoed with the sound. Naruto covered his slapped cheek with his blood-stained hand, looking up at Sasuke. Sasuke was staring at him with look of utter horror and contempt. There was only hatred in the eyes that held affection for him only seconds before.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Sasuke choked out. "You are _disgusting_."

* * * * *

eX Dream... very foreshadowing of next chapter, I think. Depressing as hell. ^^;; X 1999 is really hard to buy, because every time I go to the bookstore the books are sold out. CLAMP really is popular after all~ Well, no wonder. ^^;; X comic books are so pretty one of these days! Kamui is so beautiful~ X.x CLAMP made me realize just how beautiful a human being can be. The X art book is one of my most treasured possession, even though it drained me of couple of month's allowance. It's hardcover, and there is picture of Kamui with feathers and blood everywhere~ Too bad about Kotori-chan. I really liked her. *sniffles* But I still have Yuzuriha-chan, so...

And the infamous line by Sasuke~ "_Kimochi warui_." It doesn't literally mean "you're disgusting". More along the lines of "you gross me out", "you make me feel bad". But it sounds so mean! _ And Itachi calls Sasuke "_Ochibi_"(little one, kiddo, baby), which I don't think he actually does, but it sounded cute in my strange and twisted way. I call Kei-chan(my brother) that, too. ^^

And about the _sharingan_ thing... Until Kishimoto-sensei gives us full, detailed explanation as to why the hell Itachi killed his parents, us fans can only contemplate. I don't want to believe that he simply killed them because... well, he felt like it. ^^;; I wanted to give more depth to him, because he is a very deep character. I think the Uchiha people are actually blood-related, not this adoption theory I've thrown out at your guys, but it's fun to theorize. 


	18. Myself

Disclaimer_: The anime/manga series _Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

Warning_: Angst, angst, and some more angst. If that's not your cup of tea, then you can skip this chapter and spare yourself of being depressed. ^^;;_

* * * * *

Why, oh why have I fallen so deeply in love with you? / even though tears overflow this much

At that time, there were so many things that I lost/ I couldn't sing anything

The place that's just a little away/ that was where I was

In those pupils of yours, deeply within/ I discovered loneliness

I wonder if we resemble each other? Fuu...

If only I had realized it, you were always right by my side!

Just why have I grown to like you so much? Your voice rings within my mind so much that it's so painful

What had supported me all this time/ Just now, from afar, I've realized it

I kept crying and searching, as if I was a lost child/ but in that place, there was no such thing as eternity, so

"It doesn't matter even if I can't believe in anyone," you have whispered

I wonder if we're really alike? Fuu...

Even though at that time, I have decided to protect you...

Why do I like you so much?/ You're so far away, and you're so close, and I can't reach you at all!

The more I think to myself that "I'll just forget"/ you just loom larger in my mind...

Why have I fallen in love with you... It's so easy that I can't even answer...

"Myself", Fullmoon wo Sagashite 2nd ED Theme (Meroko version)

* * * * *

Gaara's hair fell over his eyes, but he made no attempt to remove it. His lifeless eyes stared at the ground. Several men worked upon tightening the chains and ropes that bound him. Gaara could feel the fear of men around him, which disgusted him. But he did not say anything, even when the chains and ropes were so tight that they cut into his skin to draw blood.

The hard floor that Gaara knelt over hurt his kneecaps. The underground cell did not allow any sun light to filter in, but Gaara was used to the darkness anyway. What bothered him was the absolute stillness of the place. Except for the sound of chains rustling together, only silence surrounded him. Gaara looked up only when the men stepped back.

"...finished?" He quietly asked. His voice was raspy.

"Ye- yes, Lord Gaara," one of the men stammered. Gaara nodded, staring at the cold gray wall that faced him without much interest.

"Who will stab me?"

"You- your brother, sir."

"Tell that useless piece of shit to miss my vital organs, because if I die there will be no demon to screw up the world. Just one painful stab would be enough to enrage the demon to make it come forth. And tell him to make sure that there are no civilians within fifty kilometer radius from here, because things can get ugly."

"Ye, yes sir," the man stammered. He sounded like he'll well his pants if Gaara so much as looked at him. His fear annoyed Gaara to no end.

"Be gone," Gaara snapped, lowering his head again. He closed his eyes tiredly as the relieved men scampered away.

'I want to see him... before I die, it's okay even if it's just once... but he'll hate me for doing this. I'm sorry for killing so many people, Naruto... I just no longer have any will to live... The least I can do is to help my stupid jackass of a big brother.'

* * * * *

Sasuke roughly pulled Naruto up by the collar of his neck, his eyes flashing angrily. If looks could kill, Naruto would have been dead already. 

"Was it _fun_?" Sasuke spat, shaking Naruto vigorously. Tears were making their way down Naruto's cheeks as he was shaken like a rag doll. "Did you get a kick out of making me falling for your f***ing sick joke?!"

"You're wrong... Sasuke, please stop this," Naruto begged, sobbing. He clawed at Sasuke's hands as his air circulation was cut off, struggling against Sasuke's grip. With an explosion of smoke, Narue's false form disappeared to leave battered Naruto in Sasuke's grip. "Sasuke..."

"How could you do this to me?!" Sasuke screamed. Naruto cringed and tried to back away to no avail. "I thought you were my friend! How could you toy with my feelings like this?!"

Sasuke threw Naruto down to the bed. Naruto scampered away from Sasuke and curled up into a loose ball at the corner of the bed. "You're wrong... please listen to me..."

"I can stand physical pains," Sasuke muttered, his voice suddenly low. His eyes were so full of pain that Naruto turned his head away. He was unable to look at the hurt and betrayal so freely expressed in the eyes of his beloved. "I'm a soldier. I've bore countless injuries. I am not afraid of death. But... to hurt me like this... to make me lose my only friend and the person I love the most at once like this... so cruel... After my big brother, the only one I trusted was you and Narue, yet..."

Clear liquid ran down Sasuke's cheeks before pooling at his chin into water droplets. Naruto stared at Sasuke's tears. He had known Sasuke for quite a while, but this was his first time seeing Sasuke cry. Naruto started to tremble. He hadn't known that it was possible to hurt a human this much.

"You should've just stabbed me and killed me. How could you betray me like this? It hurts so much... I can't believe in humans anymore... I can't believe anyone..."

"Sasuke," Naruto sobbed. "You're wrong... I like you... I like you so much... Please, Sasuke..."

Naruto cried out as Sasuke suddenly pushed him down into the bed, his hands tightened around his throat. Naruto struggled as Sasuke started to choke him, his red-colored eyes full of hatred and loneliness.

"So you liked my tongue down your throat, you faggot?!" Sasuke sneered. "Were you laughing while I gave my heart to you?! Was it that much fun?! You are so. F***ing. Sick!!"

"Sasuke... Sasuke..." Naruto tried to pull away from Sasuke's grip. His lungs burned and his body begged for air. The world was dimming around him. "Please..."

"Never show your face in front of me again, for I will kill you!!" Sasuke snarled, pulling away from Naruto. Naruto started to cough, gasping for air. Sasuke turned away. Naruto stared at Sasuke's back, tears freely running down his cheeks. Then he slowly picked himself up and hobbled out of the door, whimpering with every step. He stopped to ask an anbu member to help Sakura before he left the central. Sasuke did not turn around. He glared at the wall, tears continuously running down his cheeks, his hands gathered into tight fists.

* * * * *

An hour. It had only been an hour since the combat between Hinata's team and three Sand _jounin_ soldiers has started, yet it felt like hellish eternity. Only Hinata and a Sand female soldier were left. Their comrades have been reduced into cold corpses already. It was no longer a battle for an ideal. It was a battle for survival. Neither wanted to die.

Hinata's hands moved in to block the flow of _chakra _in her opponent's body, but the woman had already seen what Hinata's attacks could do. She dodged Hinata's hand and sharply brought up her leg to kick Hinata's stomach. Hinata's small body flew off to crash against a tree. Indignant birds flew off from the branches, squawking and screeching. Hinata leaned over and started to throw up blood. From the looks of things, she was certain that few ribcages have been broken.

"Let's end this now, Miss," the woman softly said, pulling out needles from her sleeve. "I'm sorry that I must kill, you even though you're just a child..."

Hinata tried to move her body, but cried out as sharp pains shot up her body. She kneeled over to cough up more blood while she felt the rushing wind as her enemy approached her. She tightly closed her eyes, hoping the inevitable death would not be too painful.

She was suddenly drenched in warm, sticky liquid. Hinata opened her eyes, staring at Neji's back.

"Neji... Big Brother..."

"Are you injured, Hinata-sama?" Neji softly asked as he withdrew his hand from the woman's stomach, where his hand had cut a hole. The woman gave out a choking noise, blood spilling out from the sides of her mouth before she slumped over as a corpse, blood pooling underneath her. Neji turned to look at Hinata, who shook her head. Hinata stood up, biting her lips as pain shot up her body again.

"Neji Big Brother... The needles..."

Neji looked down at his arm, which was pierced by three thick needles. He coolly pulled them out, tossing them over his shoulder. He leaned down and offered Hinata his hand. Hinata took his hand, and Neji slung her arm over his shoulder and slowly started to walk back to the central, where they would certainly get the medical attention that they needed. Ten Ten and Rock Lee were not injured, but they followed their teammate wordlessly.

Neji did not ask Hinata the details of the death of her comrades, and Hinata did not offer any information. But tears were running down her cheeks.

* * * * *

Naruto blindly walked on. He didn't care where he was going. He didn't care if he encountered Hidden Sand soldiers. In fact, he would welcome death. He ignored his body's protest. He ignored his common sense. He ignored everything, for he no longer cared. Tears felt warm against his cheeks. The air was cold. Cold wetness clung to his skin before melting away, making his skin burn at the coldness. Snow. Naruto craned his head to look up at the heavens. What did Sasuke say? That it looked like the heaven was crying. Stupid melodramatic asshole. Naruto stared at the snow as he felt his body slowly but surely freezing.

There was a rustle, then a man lunged at Naruto, a sharp spear pointed at Naruto's heart. Naruto turned his head to stare at the man with blank eyes. He saw everything with absolute clarity. The snowflakes, the contorted, triumph expression on the man's face, the tip of the spear which glistened in the dim sunlight that somehow managed to make its way between the thick evergreen leaves...

The man shrieked as three figures pounced upon him, pinning him down. Naruto mutely watched as Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji beat the crap out of their opponent before tying him up. Then Shikamaru straightened up to give an annoyed look to Naruto.

"And let me guess. You were trying to come up with a brilliant strategy to beat your opponent? What did I say about you getting hurt if you think too much?"

Naruto gave him a blank look. Shikamaru frowned slightly as he stepped closer to Naruto, gently tapping his cheek with his hands.

"...Naruto? Are you poisoned? Hey, Naruto."

Naruto pushed Shikamaru's hand away. Then he turned around and started to walk again. Shikamaru took hold of his shoulders, his frown deepening. "...Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Why didn't you leave me alone to die?" Naruto softly asked, staring at the Hidden Sand soldier. "He was going to put me out of my misery..."

"Naruto?" Ino asked, worry crossing her eyes. Shikamaru sighed and took his hands off of Naruto. He instead plopped down on the ground, disregarding the fact that soon the snow would melt and wet his butt.

"Sit down, Naruto, and tell me all about it. What kind of idiotic thing have you done this time?"

"I've fallen in love," Naruto dryly said. "...with Sasuke."

Chouji grunted and fell on their captive, earning himself colorful language from their captive once again. Chouji pulled himself up again. "You being gay aside, why Sasuke?"

Naruto closed his eyes tightly, tears running down his face. "...that's what I've been trying to figure out. I can't answer... I don't know anymore... I wanted to protect him, yet I ended up hurting him so much..."

Ino took out her handkerchief and started to dab tears away from Naruto's eyes, her eyes full of sympathy. Or rather, empathy. She herself had shed many tears over the stoic Uchiha.

Shikamaru sighed. "This is troublesome to no end... Look, I don't know the circumstances behind this, and I'm not going to lie and say I understand your feelings. Frankly I don't. I've never liked a guy, so I do not know how it feels. But it's not your fault for liking a fellow human being."

Naruto shook his head. "I'm disgusting..."

"Bullshit," Chouji muttered. "It's kind of nasty that you like a guy, but your feelings are your feelings. There's nothing you can do about it, so why fight it and beat yourself over it? So just stop crying. You're a boy, ain't you?"

Naruto looked startled. He suddenly started to snicker lightly, wiping his tears away. "...you're so stupid... what does that have anything to do with anything?"

Naruto managed a watery smile. "But you're right... I'm a boy, so I should stop crying. I should face the consequences, and... try to talk to Sasuke again..."

"That's the spirit," Ino cheerfully said. "Look, you two are friends! So you should try to work out something with him."

"Uzumaki Naruto?" A voice asked, interrupting their conversation. The four children plus the captive turned around to look at the speaker. A Hidden Leaf soldier looked at Naruto with obvious distaste.

"Yes?" Naruto softly asked, tensing slightly at the hatred-filled gaze.

"The fifth asks if you are willing to unleash your demon, in case the Sand Village's demon becomes uncontrollable. You two demons killing each other will be the only way to end the massacre, at the worst scenario. You have the right to, of course, refuse."

Naruto sadly smiled. "Oh no... Death is welcomed right now. Tell the fifth she can unleash the nine-tails all she wants; I don't have any problems with that."

"...Naruto? What's going to happen? What demons?" Ino asked, her voice trembling. Naruto turned to give her a crooked smile.

"The end of the world." 

* * * * *

Sasuke had his face buried into a pillow. Unwelcomed images kept flashing before his eyes. Naruto-- Narue-- was always smiling so happily within his memories. Not at all like Naruto who had cried so bitterly just seconds before...

__

"But I really am happy that I was born in this era to meet you. It feels like I was born, just to meet you."

"Don't worry, Sasuke-- From now on I'll love you so much that it'll be enough to fill up even your past loneliness."

"I'm scared! I don't want to be hurt anymore... I don't want to be hated anymore!"

"...I am not whom you think I am. You will grow to hate me when you realize who I really am, and leave me. Like everyone else..."

"I believe in you..."

****

Sasuke clenched his fist around the edges of the pillow until the pillow ripped, the feathers escaping from the rip to gently float around him. Sasuke was trembling with pain, with longing, with sadness, with anger, with so many emotions he wasn't even sure what he was feeling anymore.

"But you lied to me," Sasuke whispered, shuddering. "Were all those sweet words a lie, too? Did I wrong you so much that you would hurt me in the most spiteful way possible? Emotional scar like this would last me a lifetime... Naruto... Naruto... My precious friend... My only friend... Your eyes were always so honest... You always smiled... Hurts... Narue... All a lie..."

__

"I like you so much, Sasuke," Naruto in Narue's form happily had said, blushing. His eyes were so full of affection and sincerity that it had warmed Sasuke's heart just looking at him. "Sasuke..."

Suddenly Sasuke wanted to talk to Naruto. He wanted to figure out exactly what in the world had been going on his mind when he had played this cruel, sick joke on him. He wanted to sort out his feelings with Naruto. He had no idea why he so desperately wanted to talk to Naruto again. He wanted all of this to just have been a big misunderstanding, even though the facts coldly pointed out that it was obvious Naruto had been playing some kind of game with him. But he still wanted to believe in Naruto. Sasuke leapt up from the bed and started to run out of the room, almost knocking over Neji and Hinata.

"You've been crying," Neji said matter-of-factly as he quickly regained his balance. 

"F*** off," Sasuke snapped, embarrassed. "I need to go find that dimwit."

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata softly asked, her eyes wavering. "He... he's getting ready to unleash his demon... No one is allowed to visit him..."

"WHAT?!" Sasuke choked out. Hinata cringed and clung to Neji, who protectively held his fiancee against his side, glaring at Sasuke. To keep their bloodline pure, Hinata had been engaged to Neji, who seemed more then content with such an arrangement. For recessive genes like the allele for _byakugan_, incest or marriage between close relatives was the only way to have children with _byakugan_ for certainty. Hinata was not overly enthusiastic with the idea at first, but she soon relented when she realized that Neji's feelings for her were sincere. Besides, she realized that Naruto's heart had already been taken away by someone else, whomever the lucky girl was.

"Wasn't he your teammate? At least know something about your teammate before others find out." Neji coldly said.

"You guys are _anbu_ members in training, damn it, of course you'd know things others don't," Sasuke spat out, splinting out of the room. "That dunce better not be dead before I talk to him!"

Hinata gave Neji a puzzled look at Sasuke's strange statement. Neji shrugged.

"He has a strange way of showing his affection for his friend."

* * * * *

I almost cried while writing this chapter. _ Argh, what a depressing chapter this was. "Myself" is such a sentimental song... Too bad I'm not overly fond of the singer. Her voice is a bit too deep for my liking. I like Meroko or Takuto version much better. I'm sure "Look for the Full Moon" is much better in the graphic novel version, but I didn't overly enjoy the animated version. Poor, poor Meroko! And I can't get the graphic novel version; Tanemura-sensei's works are too popular. It's almost impossible to buy her recent works. ^^;;

I did Naruto character test thing with my siblings. My younger sisters each got "Sasuke" and "Naruto" as characters that was most like them. So I took the test and got... "Hinata". I'm still in denial... *sobs* Talking about Hinata, I'm sure _byakugan_ is recessive. Every member of Hyuuga clan had _byakugan_. So... heavy possibility of incest and close-relative marriages. If it was the dominant gene and allowed heterozygous combinations, then surely there were some members with different eye colors...


	19. Zankoku na Tenshi no Teeze

Disclaimer_: The anime/manga series _Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

Warning_: Character death, angst, and lesse... blood. Lots of 'em. But then if you got this far, I assume you're cool with those things..._

* * * * *

Just like a cruel angel/ boy, thee shall be a myth

Even though the blue wind is knocking on the door of your heart/ you're looking and smiling only at me

You are so intent upon finding the entity that touches you gently/ that you don't even know the fate/ Such innocent eyes

But I'm sure you'll realize it someday/ that within your back are the wings that would aim for the far off future

A cruel angel's thesis/ You'll fly off from the window

If you betray your feelings with surging, burning pathos

Embracing this sky and shining brilliantly/ young boy, become the legend!

You're continuously sleeping/ in the cradle of my love

But only if you call out as the messenger of dream, the morning will come

The moonlight reflects upon the nape of the slender neck

All the time in this entire world is stopped/ but I wanted to confine them

If there is a meaning behind the two of us having been brought together by fate/ I am a bible that will be used to teach you that freedom

Thesis of a cruel angel/ the sorrow begins from there

The form of life you've embraced/ when you have opened your eyes from that dream

You'll give off more light then anyone else/ So young boy, you must become the legend!

People make the history while sinning to love/ I will never become something like a goddess, but I live on

Flying out to this universe and shining, young boy, you will become the myth!

"Zankoku na Tenshi no Te-ze", Shin Seiki Evangelion OP Theme

* * * * *

Naruto looked at the setting Sun, his hands clasped around the necklace slung around his neck. The blue gem embedded into the cross reminded Naruto of his own tears. The silver necklace felt cold against his skin. Naruto cradled the present from Sasuke in his palm, turning his eyes away from the blood-colored sun to finger the intricate designs of the trinket. He gently pressed his lips to it.

"Sasuke..."

The door to the empty room opened, and Tsunade stepped into the room. She strode across the room to settle in the chair behind a wide wooden desk, then rested her head on her hands as she lifted up her eyes to look at Naruto.

"You called for me, Honorable Fifth Hokage," Naruto softly said, not tearing his eyes away from his necklace. Tsunade tiredly lifted up her head to give a quick nod to Naruto, who was watching her from the corner of his eyes. She gestured to one of the chairs scattered haphazardly around the room, and Naruto carefully lowered his body into it. He grimaced when his hip touched the surface. Tsunade lifted her eyebrows up questioningly.

"Hipbone injury? I can help you with that."

"Hell no you can't. Just give me the instructions so that we don't have to see each other's face any longer than we absolutely have to," Naruto grimily said. Tsunade chuckled at the boy's frankness.

"Understood." Tsunade finally managed a cocky grin. It was impossible to stay depressed around Naruto. Tsunade leaned back into her chair, staring up at the ceiling. "You were probably given an idea as to what I request from you."

"Being a sacrificial animal for the village?" Naruto questioned. He was only half-joking. Tsunade frowned slightly at Naruto's choice of words, but she nodded her head. Frankly, that was what Naruto would be used as. A sacrifice for the village.

"As a last resort, we are thinking of releasing your demon to counter the Sand village's demon. I know I have asked a lot of you lately, but now I ask of you another request. Become a legend by giving your life for this village, Uzumaki Naruto." Tsunade leaned further into her chair as Naruto lifted up his head to grin at Tsunade. The grin came out more as a grimace.

"And what makes you think I'll be able to kill the other demon?"

"Because you are Uzumaki Naruto," Tsunade said. Her eyes were solemn. "I have a faith in you."

Naruto was uncomfortable at how much Tsunade was relying on him. "...you know, I'll get out of control, too. I'll destroy the village and kill people, even after I kill Gaara's demon."

"I will kill you, if I have to," Tsunade softly said. "You play your role, and do not worry about anything else. I would rather die sealing your demon than sealing the other boy's demon after he has killed my people. And the demon is different this time. This time your soul will be mingled with the demon. You're not a demon. You'll be able to remain yourself... Surely."

Naruto slouched over his chair, his head lowered. Low chuckle escaped his lips. "You are obnoxious old fart, Fifth. But," He stood up and gave her a true smile this time. "You sure as hell know the right bullshit to say. I don't mind losing my life for a leader like you. But let me try to talk to my raccoon demon buddy first? Might as well as try to prevent this from happening before we worry our asses off about what to do about this whole demon release thing."

"Permission granted," Tsunade curtly said. Naruto bowed.

"Thank you, Honorable Fifth Hokage. Then." he started to leave, but he paused. "Try not to die if you can help it. This village sort of needs you."

"I'll try," Tsunade cheerfully said. "You bet your ass I'll try."

* * * * *

Sasuke splintered towards the central, desperately turning his head to catch a glimpse of the golden hair or the bright orange cloth of his object of inquiry. He skittered to a stop at finding a blonde, but it was Ino heading out to the battlefield again with her teammates.

"Shikamaru, did you see Naruto?" Sasuke asked. Anxiety crept into his voice. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was pushed back carelessly, making it more spiky then usual. Shikamaru gave a scrutinizing look to Sasuke's never-seen-before tussled appearance. Then he shook his head.

"He was with us just moments ago, but he went to see the hokage. I doubt we'll ever see him again. They were saying something about using him as some kind of sacrifice."

"Shit," Sasuke muttered, turning around to run to the central. He gasped as Shikamaru suddenly took hold of his shoulder. "Damn it, that hurts! Let go!"

"What's up with the overreaction?" Shikamaru asked, startled. He let go of Sasuke's shoulder, and Sasuke frowned as he gingerly rubbed his shoulder. Sasuke pushed down the material of his shirt to look at his shoulder and stared at the large bite mark left there, puzzled.

"...what the f***?"

Chouji whistled at the mark. "Sasuke, did you sleep on the forest floor or something? That looks like one vicious animal that made that bite mark!"

"It's a human jaw that made this mark," Sasuke impatiently said. Deciding that he had more important things to worry about than who bit him, he pulled up his shirt again and glared at Shikamaru. "What the hell do you want? I'm in a hurry, in case you haven't noticed yet."

"Uzumaki is an idiot, and he's annoying, and he's loud, to top it off," Shikamaru said. Dangerous glint came to his eyes. "But he's still my friend. If you hurt him, I'll beat the crap out of you."

"Did he confess to you or something?" Ino asked. "He had absolutely no life in him the last time we met him. It was my first time seeing a boy cry so much! Naruto wouldn't tell us what happened, but he told us it had something to do with liking you."

Sasuke looked slightly taken back. "... he told you guys that he liked me?"

"You didn't know that he liked you?" Chouji asked. "Then he must have been just depressed that he was turning into a gay, guys."

"You think so?" Shikamaru asked. "Well, yeah. I'll be depressed, too, if I've fallen in love with a guy... An asshole of a guy, nevertheless."

Shikamaru gave a 'oof' as Ino stabbed his stomach with her elbow, glaring daggers at him. Shikamaru gave her an annoyed look. "What? I was only telling the truth. But that's nothing to be suicidal about. Stupid Naruto."

"Suicidal," Sasuke repeated. He suddenly felt a knot at his stomach. Something seemed horribly wrong here. The pieces of the puzzle didn't fit together at all. He wordlessly turned away and ran.

* * * * *

Gaara pressed his cheek against the cold wall of the cell, feeling the time slipping away from him as noiselessly as sand did in a sand-clock. In the darkness, he fantasized about Naruto. The first time they met. The first time Naruto had taught him what real pain felt like. The first time Naruto had given him his trademark brilliant smile, the first time Naruto had offered him friendship. The first time he realized that he had fallen in love with Naruto. Gaara felt a smile tugging the corner of his lips. Every happy moment in his life have been caused by Naruto. He was content to die, for he had experienced what falling in love felt like. He prayed that he would never have to experience it again after death. It felt wonderful, but it was also unbearably painful.

"Gaara..."

Gaara frowned. He wondered if he was going insane from the silence and darkness. He was starting to hear things. But he tensed when he felt a hand tentatively placed upon his shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Gaara turned his head to stare at Naruto. He would have rubbed his eyes had his hands not been tied behind his back. "Na, Naruto?"

Naruto was kneeling over him, concern filling his eyes. Even in the darkness, Naruto seemed to emit light of his own. Gaara was able to see every feature of his beloved, every curve, every crease in the boyish face. He wordlessly engraved all the details into his mind, thanking the deity who had been kind enough to show Naruto to him before his death.

"Let's get you out of here," Naruto softly said, tugging at the chains. Gaara shook his head, turning his head away.

"Get lost before I kill you."

Naruto stubbornly pulled at the tight bind of chains and ropes. "No way. I'm not going away unless you're with me."

"Naruto, I want this," Gaara softly said. "Please go away. This is how I want my death to be. Let me be. If you are a true friend of mine, then allow me to die."

Naruto scowled. "I don't want to. If you really are my friend, then you'll live with me. I don't want to lose you."

Gaara shook his head. "Just shed few tears for me when I die, and I will rest in peace. It's all right even if they're fake tears. But granting me death will be the kindest thing you can do for me."

"No!" Naruto snapped. "Stop being a jackass. I can count all my friends on one hand! I don't want to lose you! I'm not going to let you die!"

"Stop being so selfish!" Gaara snapped back. "How can you be so cruel as to force one with no will to live to continue to exist?! When the one you love is..."

Their conversation was cut off as heavy footsteps indicated approach of others. Naruto quickly hid himself in the shadows as Gaara closed his mouth and lowered his head again. Kankuro entered the cell, followed by several soldiers. His expression was grim, his mouth set in a hard, cruel line. Gaara was reminded of his father, and he shuddered in distaste.

Kankuro leaned over his little brother, a sharp dagger in his hands. He deeply bowed to Gaara. "I deeply respect your willingness to sacrifice yourself. May your soul rest in peace, my little brother. Forgive me for not being a better brother to you."

"Cut out the crap and get to the point," Gaara muttered, not lifting his head. Kankuro nodded and smoothened out the cloth covering Gaara's shoulder blade, aiming the tip of the knife at the junction joining his shoulder to his arm. The knife was raised, then was sharply brought down.

"Shadow replication technique!" Naruto bellowed, lunging forward to kick the knife out of the Kankuro's hands. The dagger flew off to land at the corner of the cell, spinning few times on the smooth cement floor before resting to a stop. Suddenly ten Naruto-tachi rammed into the soldiers and Kankuro, while Naruto ducked the knives thrown at him and grabbed Gaara to sling his arm over his shoulder. An explosion of a smoke bomb left the cell in true chaos. When the smoke cleared, both Naruto's and Gaara were nowhere to be seen.

* * * * *

Sasuke bumped into someone and simply pushed on, ignoring the other's mutters and curses as he continued to run. Lactic acid built up in his legs and his breathing was getting labored, but he didn't pay much mind to his body. Then he came to the corner of the corridor and tried to turn his body, but continued to skid down the hallway before he crashed against the wall, hitting the wall with his shoulder.

"Awww!!!" Sasuke groaned, pressing his hand against the aching shoulder. He frowned. That jolt triggered some kind of image to flash before his eyes. Swirl of yellow. No, it wasn't yellow. Gold. Golden hair. Blue eyes. 

__

"Get... off of me... hurts... stop it... I don't want this..."

Naruto had been crying. He had said something to Naruto. Then Naruto had bit his shoulder, his nails digging into his back, his face contorting with pain. His shoulder had ached as Naruto buried his canines into his flesh, but Naruto felt so tight and hot and it felt like heaven when he had joined his body with...

Sasuke's breath hitched. He craned his neck to look at the bite mark on his shoulder, then he started to tremble as the dam broke and memories suddenly flooded his mind, overwhelming him. 

__

"Sasuke, stop it," Naruto had begged. "It hurts, Sasuke... Please stop it. Sasu..." 

But he had taken Naruto anyway, despite his tears and pleadings. Suddenly Naruto limping into his hospital room this morning made sense. Naruto had smiled and said that he was fine. He had had sex with Naruto without his consent, and Naruto had still smiled at him. He _raped_ him. And yet Naruto didn't hate him.

__

"Yours?" Naruto had asked, confused. "...does this mean I can always stay with Sasuke?"

Then Naruto had curled up in his arms, nuzzling against his flesh like a small kitten. Content smile was spread across his childish face. He looked tired, but happy smile was dancing in his eyes. "I like you, Sasuke... I like you so much..."

Sasuke felt his heart tearing as he remembered what Naruto had said this morning. 

__

"Sasuke," Naruto had sobbed. "You're wrong... I like you... I like you so much... Please, Sasuke..."

"Oh, God," Sasuke breathed. Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes again. He wasn't sure what all those puzzle pieces meant, but it definitely meant he had made a horrible mistake. He had done the most idiotic thing in his life. Then his eyes caught the ring that Naruto had given him, and his promise to always stay with Naruto suddenly rang in his mind, mocking him. Naruto's-- Narue's-- tears and hesitation suddenly made sense. Sasuke started to run again. He had to find the hokage.

"God... Please, God... Please let it not be too late...!"

* * * * *

Gaara lowered his head and did not look at Naruto as Naruto swiftly cut through the ropes and struggled with the chains. He then suddenly stood up and easily broke through the chains, as if the chains had been nothing but mere woolen strings. Naruto blinked, then he fumed.

"Gaara! If you were able to break it on your own, why didn't you..."

"Why didn't you leave me alone to die?!" Gaara snarled. He grabbed the collar of Naruto's neck, his eyes flashing with anger. "Are you trying to mock me?! You know how I feel about you! And yet... With body that had already mated with that disgusting, low-life... _Uchiha_... Trying to make me live, making me know that I can never have you, that you are already _his_ property..."

Naruto looked startled. "You... can tell? That I'm Sasuke's...?"

Gaara did not reply. Naruto carefully placed his hand on Gaara's arm. "But Gaara... Even if I slept with Sasuke, that doesn't mean that I don't like you anymore! You are my friend, after all! Is possessing me the only thing that you want from me? No, right? Even if I can't be yours, I still..."

"I can't stand it," Gaara softly said, taking Naruto's hands into his own. "I have never loved nor been loved before, so I don't know what is the right way to love. But I'm not kind enough to just watch your happiness with another. After all, I'm a demon. It hurts so much to watch you with him, when he doesn't adore you as half as much as I do. So if you won't let me die..."

Gaara backed away from Naruto. "Then I will have to kill you before dying."

Naruto's expression saddened. "Yes. You'll have to kill me before you can die, because I'll never, ever let you be killed."

"If I can't have your heart, then I'll take your life," Gaara said, sand pouring out of his gourd. Naruto pulled out several _shuriken_ and _kunai_, shaking his head.

"I will force you to live. Even if that's my selfishness, I don't want to lose you."

Gaara gave him a crooked smile, then dropped his body to the ground in a crouching position, bringing up his leg to kick Naruto's stomach. Naruto immediately backed away, regaining his balance by firmly planting his left palm on the ground and using this stability to swipe his fist at Gaara's face. Gaara easily dodged and rushed at Naruto, his sand also rushing toward Naruto to crush its opponent. Naruto kicked off from the ground to stop at midair and plummet back to the ground, his legs swinging in an uneven semi-circle to attempt to kick Gaara. The tip of his feet brushed against Gaara's hair. Gaara was coldly watching him, calculating his next step, predatory gleam in his eyes. To Naruto's dismay, Gaara really meant a combat to death.

'Need to make him immobile,' Naruto frantically thought as Gaara rushed at him again. He lowered his body as the sand rushed overhead, knocking over a tall evergreen behind him. Suddenly dust rose into the air, making Naruto temporarily blind. Naruto rushed to get out of the pile of dust, knowing vision impair was one of the worst handicap a _ninja_ could have-- and came face to face with Gaara, who triumphly ran towards him, a _kunai_ raised high in his hand.

Naruto automatically pulled out a _kunai_ of his own and prepared to defend against Gaara's attack, his feet firmly planting to the ground as Gaara's _kunai_ rushed closer and closer to his heart. He swung his arm.

Blood slowly and lazily dripped to the ground to gather in dark, metallic pools. The snow on the ground quickly stained red beneath them, and Gaara's lips curled up into a smirk. Then he slowly fell, his forehead resting against Naruto's shoulder. Naruto's _kunai_ had gone right through his chest. Naruto's fingers felt cold against the winter air. The fact that his hand was drenched with Gaara's blood didn't help things, as the blood quickly cooled. Blood poured out from the hole that the _kunai_ had cut through Gaara's body, drenching Naruto's body as well as Gaara's own. Gaara had pulled away his _kunai_ at the last minute, allowing Naruto's _kunai_ to cut through his body.

Naruto emitted a choking noise as he slowly sank to the ground, his dying friend in his arms. Gaara smiled-- an innocent childish smile that he had never gotten to smile until he was stepping over death's doorstep. "So happy," he breathed. "To die by your hands... To die in your arms... Naruto..."

"You... bastard," Naruto choked out, tears freely falling from his face. "How can you... do this to me. Selfish bastard... You don't think about my feelings at all!! Made me kill you with my own hands... You can't die on me... No... Gaara..."

"Naruto," Gaara softly said. His eyes slowly closed, glint fading from his emerald-colored eyes. The world was dimming, then was slowly sinking into black nothing. "Like you... So happy to have... met you..."

"Gaara!! Open your eyes!! You can't die!! Gaara!! Don't leave me!!" Naruto screamed, shaking Gaara's body furiously. Gaara's shaking hand reached up to touch Naruto's tears.

"For me," Gaara happily said. "Warm tears..."

Then Gaara's hand dropped to his side, and his body relaxed. Naruto stared at Gaara's unmoving body, then cradled the still form in his arms.

"Uuu..." Naruto sobbed. "Uuu... Waaaa!!!"

His scream echoed in the empty forest. Then sand started to cover Gaara's body up, as the furious demon awoke in its host's dying body. The demon would die, but it would not die without taking as much soul as it could before its death. Naruto sobbed at the meaningless war, at the meaningless death, at the meaningless sorrow that would start. He gently lowered Gaara's sand-covered form to the ground, then he stood up and pressed Sasuke's necklace against his heart. 

"I like you, Sasuke," Naruto softly whispered. "I hope you would be the one to kill me."

Then Naruto buried the _kunai _that was still wet from Gaara's blood into his own chest.

* * * * *

"It's already too late," Tsunade softly told Sasuke. "Naruto had already left the Hidden Leaf. There is no way to find him."

"Then I'll go to Hidden Sand," Sasuke curtly said, turning around. Tsunade shook her head, gently placing her hand on Sasuke's arm.

"It'll be cruel to let him live. His eyes did not hold his soul. I do not know what happened, but he already lost his will to live." She sighed lightly. "I shouldn't have asked him to be involved in this mission in the first place. Perhaps he had been raped as a girl; he was limping today."

Sasuke cringed at that. "...are you saying he had to be a girl for this mission?"

"Yes, I requested that from him," Tsunade said. "It seemed like the best idea at the time. But he suffered a lot because of this mission, it seems. Are you cured of the poisoning?"

Sasuke nodded. Tsunade gave him a crooked smile. "Did you thank Naruto for it? Even had you come to the central, I wouldn't have had the antidote anyway; I used all the last time you were poisoned. I have no idea how Naruto had gotten the antidote, but you owe your life to that child. He really is a good friend..."

Tsunade was cut off as Sasuke leapt out of the window and ran off to the Hidden Sand. She sadly smiled, then lowered her head.

"Poor fool. It was too late for you to have realized your true feelings now, for your beloved can never answer you. Your beloved already left to become the legend that can never be reached with your hands..."

* * * * *

Fueee. I was really crying while writing this chapter. I'm sorryyyy!!! I really like Gaara! *sobs* And Naruto... And Sasuke... I'm sorry for making some of my readers cry; I'm a bastard like that. Even though I'm not supposed to make girls cry... And it's Christmas today, too! _ But next chapter is the last, so please bear with me and my angsty ways just a little longer. 

"Cruel Angel's Thesis" was voted the 3rd best song in all anime for the 20th century. Amazing, isn't it? But it is an amazing song! And an amazing animation! I had just turned into a teen when I first saw Eva(it was actually the movie "Death and Rebirth", so I had no idea what in the hell was going on), and was blown away. Before I thought anime was for little kids, but... wow. I never watched anything that touched me as deeply, and made me as cynical to humanity as Eva. I was a cynical little brat all through my thirteenth year. ^^;; My favorite character, strangely enough, is Asuka. Everyone who knows this anime I've ever met likes Rei better, but I love Asuka. I'm sorry, Sadamoto-sensei! I really like Shinji and Misato and Rei, too! ^^;;

I was really, really tempted to do something related to wings with Naruto... like say, make huge red wings erupt from his shoulders or something... but alas, our Naruto is a fox, not a phoenix or anything that even remotely resembles flying animal. As for Gaara... His demon is the closest to raccoon, but badger sounds so much more cool. ;_; But since some of my readers yelled at me about it, I'll call his demon raccoon. The thing is, there is this whole mythology that raccoons and foxes are few animals that are capable of transforming into human form, and there is even a Miyazaki film about it. But a lot of fan-subbers called Gaara's demon 'badger', and since Gaara's demon looked more like a badger then a raccoon anyway(raccoons are not that skinny, damn it), I called him a badger at the beginning. But he's a raccoon from now on. Raccoon boy. ...yup.


	20. Eien no Tobira

Disclaimer_: The anime/manga series _Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

* * * * *

For example, just how much pains have you bore up till now? Within the calculated gaze, my feelings overflowed

Even if it's just a fragment, even if it's a miracle, I would like to carve all of it into my being/ I wish to embrace you

I would prefer failure over love/ I would prefer pain over tears/ Because my heart can feel you right now

The dream that would not end, and the feelings that I can not control/ I can see them, and I believe in them/ Please be with me...

Within the air that I can not see/ dreams and ambitions are crossed

Because my heart will be less crowded when my feelings stop flowing

Even if it's my destiny, even if it is a mere coincidence, I want to go on with you just the way I want to/ Because I met you like this...

It's not just words, nor is it a promise/ But as long as there is something that we share, it would become a strength to me

Even being hurt, and even endless tears/ does not matter if we can continue on with the conviction

I have looked up at the sky/ the future that you have painted, that wish of yours, will take flight

The gaze is the gateway to eternity, something that we share will become our strength!

Even the scars we get and the endless tears/ will not matter if we can continue to walk on without hesitation

I want pain over love, and deepness over tears/ because my heart can feel you right now

The eternal dream and the uncontrollable feelings/ I see you, and I believe you/ Just be by my side... Just be with me...

"Eien no Tobira", Gundam MS 08th Team Movie ED Theme 

* * * * *

The moon was bright red. As if it had absorbed all the blood that has been shed up till now, it was absolutely scarlet, full and round and terrifying. The night sky was starless. The red light of the moon swallowed up everything and illuminated everything in red, seemingly drenching everything in blood. And in this empty night, screams of two demons echoed in the hallow sky as they at last woke up from their long slumber within bodies of two young boys. 

* * * * *

Naruto walked down a seemingly endless hallway that twisted and turned every which way. His footsteps sounded too loud in the stillness. Naruto felt the skin of nape of his neck prickling with unknown fear. But he continued to walk on. He did not give much thought to the passage of his feet. His instincts guided him to the object that he sought out for.

"Damned kid...!" Sudden voice hissed, the voice throaty and deep. The demon narrowed his red eyes at the young boy, baring all of his fangs at his host. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Naruto smiled slightly, resting his hands upon the bars that confined the fox demon. "Nice to see you, too."

The fox snarled again, all of his fur bristling up, his fangs bared to the gums. "What do you want this time?!"

"I hate you, you know," Naruto said, fingering the cold iron bars. "I've been lonely all my life because of you. Everyone hated me because of you. But... you were the only one that was with me all the time, ironically enough. The only one who made me not feel alone. We've been living together for seventeen years now. That's the longest I've ever known anyone in my life."

The fox's eyes narrowed, but he made no reply. Naruto rested his forehead against the cool surface of the polished metal bars. "I'm tired now. So I'll give you your freedom. I'll set you free..."

The iron bars cracked, then suddenly shattered apart. With a triumph howl, the fox bounded out of the cell that it had been locked up, his presence immediately taking over Naruto's being. Naruto watched as his consciousness slowly sank underneath the fox's will, then crawled to the corner of the cell and curled up, burying his face into his arms. He smiled tiredly, but sincerely.

"And I'm free now, too..."

* * * * *

Sasuke leaned against a tree, heavily breathing. His entire body heaved with an effort to gain the lost oxygen. The side of his stomach hurt, and his throat felt like sandpaper was rubbed against it. Sasuke closed his eyes, his brows knitting. There had to be a way for him to be able to meet Naruto without being killed, even if Naruto was at Hidden Sand Village's central. If only he could think of such a way.

The earth suddenly shook violently. Sasuke gasped and looked up at the sky, at the blood-colored moon. Discomfort seized him, and he started to run again, despite obvious signals from his body that this would not be a good idea. His legs gave out beneath him and Sasuke rolled on the earth few times before coming to a stop. His right leg was broken because of the fall. Cursing his weakness, Sasuke tried to force himself to stand up again when a screeching howl resounded through the strangely quiet night. The howl was followed by another voice, a deep snarl. Sasuke's curses became more obscene as he pulled out a _kunai_ and buried the knife in the tree next to him, using the _kunai_ as a handhold to pull himself up. His eyes widened when he saw two monstrous demons entangled together, their fangs bared, their eyes blazing with murderous intent. 

"Naruto," Sasuke whispered, horrified. "Naruto..."

* * * * *

Those who were old enough remembered the horrors of the last fox demon's awakening only too well. Hundreds of innocent lives perished under the demon's rampage. Thousands more suffered the loss of loved ones and bore heavy scars, both physical and mental. The last time, a young man gave up his life in exchange for the seal of the nine-tailed fox and became an everlasting legend.

This time, a young boy gave up his life in exchange for breaking that very seal. Ironically enough, this was also an effort to save the village. As thousands of civilians of both Hidden Sand and Leaf village cowered, the fox triumphly announced his rebirth, his red eyes cruel and his teeth bared to show that he intended no mercy. His nine tails swirled behind him like flames, and his coat glimmered a glossy mahogany in color. And the current hokage, like all the hokage before her in the face of a disaster, coldly watched the demon, knowing full well that it would be up to her to save the village at the cost of her life.

The raccoon demon gave out another agonized howl. His host was dying on him. He felt the same pain, same loss of conscious that his host was feeling. This made him resentful. How dare the human make him suffer so? The wound was too deep even for his demonic healing powers to save the boy, but the raccoon did not feel threatened. He was simply angry, and when he was angry, people must die. The scent of death calmed him, because being able to smell others' death meant he was still alive. Naturally he was furious at the other demon, who was being an obstacle in his rampage to kill and destroy.

The fox demon was equally annoyed. He had finally became free, and the first thing he encountered was another demon. Destroying and killing was more then enough by himself; he needed no other to help with the job. Besides, killing the other demon would be more fun. The other demon was strong. 

The fox demon snarled before burying his jaws in the raccoon's throat, his jaws tightly clenching to cut off the raccoon demon's life. The raccoon squealed and kicked him away, crouching down to the ground on his fours, all of his fur bristling. The fox demon licked his chops and lazily swished his tails, the tails curling in the air like a battle flag. The raccoon demon swished his tail on the ground in return, knocking off all the trees and houses in its path. He lunged at the fox and clawed at his eyes, attempting to gouge his eyes out. The fox screeched, swinging his huge paw to knock the raccoon away. The demons backed off, lowering their body and continuously giving out warning snarls, their eyes full of lust for blood.

Sudden shower of fire-tipped arrows halted the movement of the two demons. They simultaneously turned their heads to stare at the small army of Hidden Sand soldiers. Kankuro at the lead gestured with his hands.

"They're weakened now! Kill them both now! They weren't supposed to fight on Hidden Sand and destroy this village, that damned brother of mine! Kill them!!"

The fox simply stared at them, bemused at the tiny little things attempting to hurt him. He gave a puzzled look to the raccoon, who snarled and stepped on them. And that took care of that.

With the interference of the humans, the two demons were angered enough to stop fighting between themselves and target the humans instead. Hidden Sand and Hidden Leaf soldiers both stood together, united under the necessity to fight against the demons. Former enemies stood shoulder to shoulder, terrified yet determined to protect their world against the two demons. The demons jutted their head back and howled their battle cry. Tsunade grimaced. This was exactly the worst scenario that she had feared. Even though the war between the Hidden Sand and Hidden Leaf was over, this was even worse then war. And if both of the demons were to attack, this world will truly be over.

The raccoon sudden ceased his thrashing. He started to tremble violently, mucus foaming at the edges of its mouth. His hind legs gave out underneath him, and he howled in rage at his dying body. He reached out with his forepaw and started to randomly crush houses and kill anything and everything in its path, be it trees, animals, or humans. He screeched in pain and desperately destroyed, as if he wanted to leave a mark of himself upon this world before being killed. Tsunade's face hardened as more and more people were killed at the raccoon's rampage. She stepped forward, biting upon her finger to start the seal. She wasn't sure what will happen if she died now, but this had to be stopped.

Lavender blur flashed across the battlefield. Tsunade frowned, then gasped when she realized that a girl had stepped in front of the dying raccoon demon. She was the sister of the demon-possessed boy-- Temari.

"Gaara, stop this now," Temari softly said. The raccoon hissed and spat at her, yet she stepped closer and closer to the huge demon. She stretched open her arms. "Come, if you need new body to possess, then you can come to me. Leave my brother to die in peace, and I will allow you to live. Stop this meaningless destruction..."

"That fool, does she know what will happen if she allows the demon to possess her?!" Tsuande murmured, horrified. "The first child that she conceives will be cursed with that demon, and she will die at childbirth like that boy's mother! That is why female children are never used to seal demons...!"

The raccoon coughed up blood, then stared at Temari with blood-shot eyes. Then it melted into a vapor of smoke, surrounding Temari before disappearing. In its place lay Gaara's corpse. Temari gently picked up Gaara's head from the ground, embracing her little brother's cold body.

"You won't be alone anymore... You're free now, my precious little brother..."

* * * * *

Sasuke dragged his stubborn body, only intent on the sound of screams and crashing. Even if Naruto was a nine-tailed fox demon now, he was still Naruto. He was still alive. It wasn't too late.

"F*** the legend shit," Sasuke wheezed, resting his hands upon his knees to take a deep breath. "If it's too late, I'll _make_ it not too late. I hurt him so much... I have to make this right; make this up to him..."

Sasuke pressed the ring that Naruto had given him close to his heart, moving his body again. His broken leg dragged behind him, completely useless, and his hands which he used to grab the tree branches to support himself were skinned and bleeding heavily. But Sasuke was content. He was near Naruto. He would see Naruto soon.

"Sasuke-kun! What happened?!" A sudden voice shrieked. Sakura, her eyes full of tears, ran up to him and attempted to help him stand up, but Sasuke shook his head.

"I'm going to... get to him... on my own." 

He lifted his eyes to look at Lee following Sakura. His eyes widened.

"Lee... what happened...?"

Sakura burst into tears at that. "Lee-san... tried to save me from the raccoon demon... Got his arm... torn off..."

Lee awkwardly smiled. "Oh, Sakura-san... An arm or two is not a big deal, if it's to save your life."

"It's a big deal! How can you say that?!" Sakura exploded. Lee pressed the place where his arm used to be, lowering his head. Sakura turned to Sasuke. "You, too! You were recently poisoned so badly that you were going to die, weren't you?! What are you doing in this battlefield?!"

"Have to get to that dimwit," Sasuke said, moving his body forward again. Sakura grabbed his arm, shaking violently. "...let go."

"Please, Sasuke-kun... I can't stand by to watch people who are important to me getting hurt anymore! Lee-kun... Naruto... and now even you... Please don't die... Please..." Sakura sobbed.

Sasuke gestured to Lee. "You should pay more attention to what is most important to you right now. Because things that are most important to you might not seem important when they're in your hands." He gave the two a crooked smile, then started to drag himself towards the nine-tailed fox demon.

With its competitor out of the way, the demon was in its true glory that it had been few years ago. It leapt at the soldiers attempting to quall its rampage, easily and brutally killing more then ten high-level soldiers in matter of minutes. Tsunade was smiling sadly, her hands already performing the moves for the forbidden seal.

"Brat... Rest in peace, and be assured that you will not be alone. For I will be with you. This will permanently kill the nine-tails, so rest well knowing that you have saved our village once again." She moved her hands to form the dragon hand movement to finish the spell, but was startled at a hand that grabbed her wrist, forbidding her to complete the spell. "Uchiha?"

"Please, Honorable Hokage... Allow me to kill the nine-tails," Sasuke said. Tsunade broodingly looked at the battered boy, then gently placed her hand on top of his head. He had already grown taller than her.

"Do you wish for me to teach you the seal I was about to perform?"

"No ma'am." Sasuke softly said. "That would not be necessary."

"Then I grant the permission," Tsunade replied, her voice just as soft. Their conversation easily became lost in the screams of the nine-tails and dying soldiers, yet they barely needed words to communicate. "Go, and see if you can reach him."

Sasuke gave Tsunade a crooked smile that was strangely similar to the smile that Naruto had given her before he walked down the path that he could not return from. Then he slowly but surely made his way to the nine-tails.

"Naruto!" Sasuke called out. The nine-tails paused in its rampage, its blood-thirsty eyes regarding him. Sasuke continued to walk towards the demon. "You dimwit, look what you've done now. This isn't like you at all. What has gotten into--"

Sasuke was cut off as nine-tailed fox swiped its paw into him, neatly sending him flying away to crash against the ground. Sasuke picked himself up again, wobbling over to the demon once again.

"We promised to make new memories together, remember?" Sasuke softly asked, as he continued to step forward. The demon snarled in reply, its angry eyes flashing. "I know you're mad at me, and I know I'm an idiot. But you always forgave me, remember? Those few times I apologized to you, you always forgave--"

Sasuke's words were cut off again as the nine-tails howled and slashed its claws into Sasuke's body. Sasuke felt his ribs cracking as blood poured out from the wound that the razor-sharp claws inflicted upon him, yet he continued to walk towards the demon. "I like you, Naruto. It took me this long to realize that. I always denied my feelings, because I was ashamed that our genders were same. But once the gender barrier was out of the way, I finally faced my true feelings and was able to become more truthful to my feelings." Sasuke paused to cough up the blood that had pooled at the back of his throat. "Genders don't matter, right? Because Naruto is Naruto, and it is your soul that I have grown so fond of, not your body. Narue, Naruto, that doesn't matter. Because..."

The fox howled, twitching. His terrified red eyes regarded Sasuke, and he swiped his paw to send Sasuke crashing to the ground again. Sasuke bit back his scream as he felt his other leg breaking. Blood was obscuring his vision. He started to crawl to the fox demon, his entire body trembling at the effort.

"Your eyes are always the same, Naruto. Your eyes are always so honest, so truthful, so beautiful... Even now, your gaze is eternal; it is the gate to eternity... Your eyes will eternally be within my heart, Naruto... Naruto..."

Sasuke reached up a blood-soaked hand towards the demon fox. He pulled out his weapons, and the fox tensed, getting ready to cut off Sasuke's life. But Sasuke threw the weapons to the ground.

"You're in there, aren't you? Naruto, come back to me... Forgive me, and please let me be with you..."

The fox stared at Sasuke. Something in its eyes looked human. Suddenly a drop of tear slowly made its way down the demon's cheek. A terrified Hidden Sand soldier used this distraction to send an arrow flying towards the demon fox's heart.

"The fool!" Tsunade cried, preparing to seal the demon, sure of the rampage it'll cause due to the attack. But Sasuke was faster. He blocked the arrow with his own body, embracing the chest of the demon fox tightly with his broken body.

"Be with me... Just be with me..."

Suddenly bright light illuminated the entire area, outshining even the blood-colored moon. The fox melted away into a vapor, and Naruto was standing, his entire body glowing brightly, tears running down his cheeks. The tails remained for few more seconds, stretching behind Naruto like flames, making Naruto look like a god of Sun. But that glorious image soon shattered to reveal the boy for what he was-- a young boy, too young to be an adult yet too old to be a child. A broken, hurt, and lonely boy. Naruto was in Sasuke's arms, his head buried into Sasuke's chest, sobbing.

"Sasuke... Sasuke..."

Sasuke tightly embraced the hurt child in his arms, tears also slowly making their way down his cheeks. The sun slowly but surely started to light up, as the morning sun came up. The sunlight made everything shine gold, making what had occurred only few minutes before seem like a mere nightmare. Sasuke gently pulled away from Naruto, his dark eyes looking into the blue eyes. They were truly bottomless, deep, eternal. Entry to the forever bliss. His voice sounded throaty and hollow, but his heart was in every word.

"Let's live on together, Naruto."

Naruto smiled, the soft smile lighting up his entire feature. "Yeah, let's do that."

* * * * *

The End

"_Omae no manazashi wa eien ni ore no kokoro no naka ni iru_"(Your gaze will be in my heart eternally)... I hope that someday, you will also find the gaze that can be engraved into your heart for eternity. Because if you can find such sincere and clear eyes that focuses only on you, so much so that you know that the gaze is the door to eternity, you are a truly happy person. Thank you so much for being with me while I was writing this story. It is only a fan fiction, yes, but it is my work, and some of my being... my soul... gets incorporated into the story, whether or not I want it to. It made me so happy to know that you're with me; that I'm not alone. You've accepted a part of my soul, and have given me encouragements and feedbacks. When I wanted to run away, when I was scared, I was able to smile because I knew that you cared; because I knew that you're with me. I hope the ending was satisfactory and that I did not disappoint you. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my precious reader.

The epilogue will be out before the year 2003 is over. The epilogue takes place 8 years after this war, and it gives a glimpse to the future of the Naruto-tachi from this chapter on. I was happy to have met all of you. Please be with me for the next story, too. But even if you are not-- even if this is the last path that us two trod upon together-- I'm still very happy. Because you have given me so much courage.

By the way, "_Eien no Tobira_" is my all time favorite song. It really is my favorite, even though I've listened to countless music in my life. I used to listen to it until all my ear cells got burned off, turning the winamp's speaker up until I can feel my ear and brain cells actually dying. It gave me the strength to face my life, and I listen to it, even now, when I need strength. So this last chapter is very important to me in many ways. I hope this story was as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write. 


	21. Friends

Disclaimer: _The anime/manga series _Naruto_ belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, TV Tokyo, GAINAX, etc. The author of this specific fiction claims no connection to neither the creation nor the sales of the said work of animation. _

Note: _It is assumed that 8 years have passed since last chapter, and that Naruto-tachi are 25 years old now. _

* * * * *

I've been searching all this time/ for the ones that have the same eyes and same dreams as I do/ _My friends_

The tears I shed until yesterday/ And smile I have starting from today/ I want to take them all in

The rain of morning/ and the long darkness of the night/ of those and everything else, don't be scared anymore

I... will become the wings... that will protect you strongly like the heavens

I will soar far beyond the boundless era/ and shall give you the future that starts from now

I'll face the wind, and trod upon this earth/ and live on with you endlessly

The old world, touched by the warmth of your hand/ will overflow with kind light

Because you're with me/ with just that I can become stronger than anyone else

This small miracle that allowed our encounter/ will change into the history someday

I... like this ocean... shall be able to erase your pains and sorrow

I will become the brightness that can light up the faraway future that rides upon the distant waves

Until the end of this long journey... I shall live eternally with you...

Like this sky, I will become the powerful wings that can protect you

I will cross the distant times/ and give you the future that begins now

I will go against the wind, walk upon this ground... and will live endlessly with you...

I shall live with you... forever...

"Friends", Senkaiden Houshin Engi ED Theme

* * * * *

The alarm clock was overly loud. A blanket-covered body emitted a groan, then a little hand reached out from under the covers to slap on the alarm clock to silence the evil being for another twenty-four hours. Having accomplished this mission, the hand pulled back into the blanket to join the rest of the body in defensive combat against the cold morning air. The blanket wriggled few times before becoming still again. 

"Oraaaaaa!!! You're gonna be late as hell if you don't wake up!" A voice as equally loud, if not louder than, the alarm clock boomed. This verbal abuse was accompanied with the blanket being yanked away. A small boy sat up sluggishly, scowling as he tried to get his blanket back. The owner of the wake-up call, a man in his twenties, heartily laughed as he lifted the blanket above his head, preventing the boy from getting the blanket back.

"Daddy! You're such a meanie!" The boy complained, his frown deepening. He pushed the spiky strands of his strawberry blond hair out of his ocean-colored eyes, pouting. "It's cold!"

"It won't be cold if you move around," the man cheerfully answered. "So get your lazy ass out of the bed, Uzumaki-Uchiha Gaara."

"I thought it was Uchiha-Uzumaki Gaara," Gaara muttered, scuttling away from the bed to change out of his sleeping clothes. Naruto shrugged.

"Don't worry about such little things. Come on, you know how cranky your father gets when you're late to breakfast. He's such an uptight asshole."

Gaara snickered as he trotted after Naruto to the kitchen. Sasuke was setting roasted tuna down on the table. He looked up when Naruto and Gaara stomped into the kitchen, nodding at the two.

"Good morning, Gaara-san."

"Good morning to you, Father," Gaara answered back just as politely, bowing lightly. He took a seat on the table with his parents. "Thank you for the food."

"Today is your first day of elementary school, isn't it?" Naruto brightly asked. He started to cram food down his throat without waiting for a reply. Gaara nodded. Naruto swallowed the content of his mouth with an effort. "Want me to walk with you?"

"No, you have your mission today, don't you?" Gaara said, more as a statement than a question. "I can walk by myself."

His parents exchanged looks, then they nodded. "Please don't leave after class. We'll come for you in time to pick you up," Sasuke said. "You haven't forgotten what day today is?"

"I get to meet my parents," Gaara happily said, smiling. "And my uncle."

* * * * *

"Look, that's the demon child. Look at those black markings around his eyes."

"How disgusting! Why does even Sand Village's demon has to be here? It's more than enough that we have that fox demon."

"He's an Uchiha, you know."

"No way! Just because the clan is dying out, Uchiha is sinking as low as having a demon in their bloodline?"

"It isn't even bloodline; Uchiha is living with the other demon, Uzumaki, and adopted that child. I heard they're those freaks, you know, in same-sex relationship?"

"Simply repulsive, what that vixen has done. Sasuke used to be such a good child, too. Poor thing, his ancestors must be turning in their graves."

Gaara bit down upon his lip until he tasted blood. He always heard those whispers. At times, he wished he had bad hearing senses. He instead glared at the ground, firmly walking to his school. He ignored parents moving their children out of his way and the repulsed look on their faces. He always cleared a path when he walked in the village; everyone seemed to hate him.

He used to be angry with this segregation. He once burst into tears and tried to beat up the gossipers. But Sasuke had held him back, then kneeled over until they were eye-to-eye. "Gaara-san," Sasuke had patiently said. His eyes were blazing with anger, but his face was expressionless and calm. "Do not resort to violence and stoop to their level. Real man would prove himself as your dad did, not act like a barbarian. A ripe stalk of rice would bend to the wind, instead of fighting against it. Make them acknowledge you. Become strong."

Gaara had nodded, wiping his tears away. He knew that his father was right, but it was sometimes unbearable. He never had any friends; those few children he made friends with were immediately taken away from him by their parents. He was sick of the hatred, of the ignorance, of the loneliness. Sometimes he was seized with almost uncontrollable desire to kill ones who are hurting him. But those times, he remembered that his parents loved him to death, and that made the child feel warm and happy again.

Naruto, of course, was an entirely different story. Although no one dared to openly hate one of the strongest soldiers of the Leaf Village, once gossipers have dared to whisper behind his back. Naruto immediately turned to show them his third finger and to shout obscenities until he was hoarse, forcing Gaara to grimace and cover up his ears at his dad's foul language. Then Naruto had grinned brightly. "That's gotta show 'em," he cheerfully said. But his eyes were full of pain, and Gaara wordlessly had held Naruto's hand as they continued to walk. Naruto had grasped Gaara's hand so tightly that it hurt, but Gaara didn't comment on it.

Gaara entered the classroom quietly, sitting at the back corner where he will be as inconspicuous as possible. He could not bear to make any friends. They would be taken away from him anyway. He could feel children staring at the black markings around his eyes and whisper among themselves. Then the children were already old enough to start hating, to start segregating their fellow humans. Their teacher entered the classroom, and the chattering instantly died out and children rushed to their seats. Their teacher smiled kindly upon them, his eyes skimming his new students before resting upon Gaara. He looked startled, then his smile broadened. Gaara was puzzled.

"My name is Umino Iruka, and I will be responsible for all of you until you become _gennin_," the teacher said. "You are permitted at any time that you feel that you are ready to take the _gennin_ test, but I suggest that you refrain from doing so until you become at least twelve or so." Gaara decided that that didn't sound like such a bad thing. The man seemed kind. He pulled out his scrolls to take notes. He didn't notice Iruka looking at him fondly, the way the teacher used to look at his other lonely yet kind and energetic demon-possessed student.

* * * * *

"Gaara-kun!"

Gaara looked up from the ground, wordlessly regarding the hyper girl bouncing around him. The girl took the swing next to his own, swinging back and forth. Her short ponytail bounced around with every movement. Gaara sighed. "...what are you doing here, Inori? Shouldn't you be at the kindergarten playground?"

"I skipped grades so I can be with my beloved Gaara-kun!" Inori gushed. "After all, I'm going to become Gaara-kun's bride!"

"Right," Gaara dryly said. "You can't skip grades in Japan. Your parents are going to be mad if you're seen with me, you know. You'll tarnish the Nara clan's name."

"No way! My parents are friends with yours," Inori cheerfully said. "Remember I went to play at your house last time when our parents had a class reunion?"

"Your parents are going to change their mind when their relatives start spewing poison on their mind," Gaara quietly said, looking away. "Besides, once you grow up a little, you will also..."

"Inori-chan! What are you doing here?" A little boy complained, his pink hair dramatically crashing with his dark black eyes. "You're going to get in trouble with the teacher!"

"Whatever. You're no fun, Lee Kaede," Inori said, sticking her tongue out. "Then see you later, Gaara-kun!"

Inori leaned over and placed a quick kiss on Gaara's cheek. Gaara could almost see Kaede popping few veins, his face contorting with childish jealousy. He watched as Inori bounced away and Kaede hurried away after her, then sighed and smiled slightly. At least other children were having fun growing up, even though he wasn't. Gaara stood up and dusted himself off, heading back to the classroom. He decided it was better to read a book then waste all of his free period away.

A small, stifled sobbing noises caught his attention. Gaara cursed his sensitive ears. It was probably some snotty kid who fell down and skinned a knee or something. Big deal. He was used to kids throwing stones at him for fun. But being the kind person that he was, Gaara leaned over the shrubbery and pulled apart the leaves until he found a tiny child curled up in the corner, sobbing. 

"Get out of there," Gaara impatiently said. "What are you, a dimwit? This isn't the kindergarten playground, you know."

"I know that..." a fragile voice said. "That's why... I'm here. Everyone won't make fun of me... here."

"Why are they making fun of you?" Gaara asked, his voice softening somewhat. He was startled when the child's face lifted to look at his. The child had beautiful white pupils that glimmered purple in the sunlight. The child was an ethereal beauty that his own father Sasuke was, except the child had a more youthful beauty. 

"Because my eyes are freaky," the child softly said. "Everyone thinks it's really nasty, because it looks like my eyes are taken out."

Gaara rolled his eyes. "How stupid. I think your eyes are very nice."

The child looked surprised. The child gingerly stood up to look up at Gaara hopefully. "You... you really think so?"

"Yup. Besides, it's really impressive that you have unique eyes. That means you're that much unique, right? No one else is like you. No one has the same gaze that you have." Gaara smiled brightly. "That's a really cool thing."

The child blushed happily, finally smiling back. Gaara was startled at how cute the child was. "What's your name anyway?"

"I'm Hyuuga Hayato. How about occhan(uncle, middle-aged married man)?"

Gaara almost fell over. "...the hell?! I'm no occhan! I'm only seven! If you're Japanese, learn how to speak properly, damn it!"

"So you're an occhan," Hayato triumphly said. "Seven is very old, isn't it? I'm four."

"And you're an idiot. It's oniichan(older brother)! Gaara-oniichan!" Gaara chided. He frowned slightly. "...are you a girl or a boy?"

"A boy!" Hayato cried, indignant. "How... how mean! Just because my hair is a little long...!"

"No, it's your face, not your hair," Gaara teased. He looked up as the bell rang. "I have to go back... See you later, Hayato. And be more proud of yourself. I'm sure you'll like yourself better then."

Hayato softly smiled. "...thank you, Gaara-oniichan..."

* * * * *

Gaara ran ahead of his parents, who were quietly talking between themselves. He knew the place by heart. He placed the bouquet of flowers on the ground, then kneeled on the ground and smiled broadly.

"Mom, how are you doing? We came to visit you again! Were you lonely without me?" Gaara fingered the soft green grass that covered his mother's tomb gently, as if he was stroking his mother's hair. "Dad even brought you some _sake_(type of alcoholic beverage)!"

He felt his parents settling down beside him to pay their respect to the grave, but he continued to talk to his mother's grave. He had lots of things he wanted to say to her. "It was my first day at elementary school. My teacher was named Umino Iruka. Isn't that a weird name? But he's really nice! I wish you didn't die, but it couldn't be helped, right?" Gaara felt tears welling up and furiously rubbed at his eyes. He felt a warm hand being placed on his shoulder.

"Gaara is still a child, so it's okay to cry," Naruto softly said, smiling. "Your mother was an incredible person. It isn't shameful at all to shed tears for her. Temari saved both Hidden Leaf and Hidden Sand Village, you know, from the raccoon demon. Your biological father lived and died proudly with conviction in his heart. And Sasuke saved everyone from the fox demon. Your parents are amazing people, Gaara."

Gaara stared at Naruto, then buried his head into Naruto's chest. "I don't care what others say. I'm happy that I was born, Dad... Because living is fun... Because you two are my parents... I'm thankful mother decided to have me..."

"Gaara-san is so mature that it's frightening," Sasuke said, chuckling lightly. Naruto gave him a playful look of resentment.

"Where do you think he learned that from, Sasuke?"

"I wonder," Sasuke said, giving Naruto a helpless look. Gaara laughed and stood up to walk over to other two graves.

"Were you friends with Uncle Gaara, Father?" he asked, smiling. Sasuke paused, then shook his head.

"No... But I have deep respects for that man. Your father, too... They both had their own ideals and convictions, and followed it until their death. They were very honorable men."

Gaara nodded. Breeze ruffled his hair before running away. The air felt gentle and cool against his skin. He wordlessly looked at the graves of people who had contributed to his birth, then turned to smile at his parents before embracing them tightly. 

The human history will repeat itself. Another war will surely take place. People still hate and segregate. Gaara will be lonely and be an outcast, like the Gaara before him. But this time Gaara will not lose to his own darkness, because this time he has people whom he truly loves. This time Gaara will be the light, not the darkness. He will become the wings that will free himself from the constraints of his society; he will become the strength that can stand up against the meaningless hatred.

He will build a new future, a new generation that will be less ignorant and hating then this generation. And he will walk on with the people he love and love him in return, and live on. And his eyes will eternally reflect everything, embracing everything with kind light. Because the gaze is eternal.

* * * * *

I hope I haven't made this too sappy and ruined the atmosphere of the entire story. It's a brief glimpse into the far future, and... it's not the end of everything. Rather, it's the beginning of a whole new saga. I think this time, Gaara will be able to get the person whom he truly loves and be loved in return. Whether that will be Hayato, Inori, Kaede, or someone else, I have no idea. But Gaara will surely be able to shine this time. I think he will be the gentle starlight that Naruto likes so much. Not mysteriously beautiful like Sasuke's moonlight, yet not strong and vigorously shining like Naruto's sunlight. Just... gentle, sweet light that constantly stays with you. Gaara's life won't be easy, but I think he'll have a lot of fun living. That's what's important, isn't it?

I've been reading my past chapters over again, and it's so horrible that I can't stand it. ^^;; I sound like a complete idiot! How embarrassing. Thank you for bearing with my idiocy... I'm slowly becoming an adult, but I'm also still a child, after all. I have a lot of life I have to experience before I can become a light, too. But... I won't be alone in my journey, and that's what makes living so much fun. ^_^

Yes, yet another Yonekura Chihiro music. I really am obsessed with her. ^^;; Actually anything sung by her that I listened to so far not only have beautiful melody, but lyric that really touches the heart. I really love her voice, too. I usually like songs by male singers because I can sing along without killing my vocal chords, but Yonekura-san's songs are an exception. They're very easy to sing to. 

There is a picture of Gaara Nisei, Hayato, Inori, and Kaede. You can take a look if you're interested in how those kids look like. Mind you, I sketched it in like ten minutes, so it's not good at all, but... ^^;; But you guys prefer that I write this chapter faster than working for hours on that picture and releasing the chapter late, right?! Right?! ^^;;

...so... that's really a good-bye then, right? This really is the last chapter of "Manazashi wa Eien ni"... Then stay happy and healthy! Have fun living, and we'll meet again someday, right?! See ya!

-12/30/2003- 

Shirohane

Version 2- 2/22/2004

There has been no drastic changes from version 1 to 2; just some minor grammar error and such. However, I would like to reassure the readers that Sasuke stayed faithful to Naruto; he is most definitely not Gaara Nisei's father. Not a biological one, anyway. Not a drop of either Uzumaki or Uchiha blood flows in Gaara.


End file.
